my bfs other baby mommy

[Nicc21]

Please does it make me a bad person because i dont want mine and my boyfriends hard earned money to go to a woman that has kids for fun and borderline neglects her children???

yeah I paid towards my rent too, as the housing benefit was capped at £475 for a person with two kids, my house was £495 x

It's too decent here lol I have a long walk and no buses to get to school because I can't afford private. My opposite neighbours are mansions...

(not even kidding, wish I was)

I got all my rent paid and the area I live in is fine, albeit poor and inner-city. Never had any problems with crime or ASB though in 11 years. I do know others who refuse to live here though and prefer to pay chunks out of their tax credits towards rent in more upmarket areas. Would rather keep the money myself!

I'm confused OP You said your bf has always supported his child by buying nappies and clothes thn four years down the line the ex demands £200 pr month. Do you mean that, prior to this recent demand, your bf has been giving her no money for maintenance? He has to maintian his child.

I say this as someone who can understand your annoyance at the set up. My dh pays a helluva lot more than that for his son, there are four more kids in ss's family now, all with absent fathers and all on the child protection plan thing, whatever it's new name is. It's not as simple as saying apply for residency. When we finally discovered what was going on (denied contact, constant house moves) the social worker told us it was unlikely to happen due to the geography (we're 500 miles away so less contact with mum if here) and ss's age and wishes. He was too used to acting as her protector as the first born, he's witnessed all the dramas by then.

My dh's ex has a very healthy income from benefits and maintenance and it does sadden us that ss doesn't seem to benefit from a warm, stable home despite it. The anger at the ex's lack of perenting can eat away at you and is pointless. Morally he must pay, it's the right thing to do and more folk should do it. It's not the governments place to raise kids.

I think £50 a week is a lot, I'd love if DS was given that a week from his father to help with the cost of raising him, just now we get nothing, CSA are still trying to get money from him (and he works full time), but before he stopped paying the CSA we got £150 a month.

OP, I think it is good of your DP to pay £200 a month and take his ds every weekend too, have you tried the CSA calculator? They will take into consideration your child, how often his DS stays with him, and will only take money from him not your wage.

cbeebies The CSA will make your ex pay but it will be a slow process. My ex didn;t pay for years then in 2006 they finally got hold of him he had to pay £8000 in arrears. He had a go at me about it so I just laughed and said he should have paid instead of not bothering. now he pays me directly as he would rather it all got to DS instead of the government. Somebody obviously had a word with him

Sorry just noticed your reply Flight . Yes the CSA are still in the process of trying to get him to pay, although it is a very slow process as they didn't know his address/phone number/work address/etc, but they say it might even be just another couple of months until DS gets the financial support he is entitled to.