my bfs other baby mommy

[Nicc21]

Please does it make me a bad person because i dont want mine and my boyfriends hard earned money to go to a woman that has kids for fun and borderline neglects her children???

Nicc I feel for you in a way but it is how you 'put' or phrased your question.

so OP are you and DP going to discuss residance, you have not answered despite being asked even what your thoughts on the sound advice been given? you are only responding to the negative comments.

"its about the way she treats my boyfriends son and the fact that she has children that are on the at risk list but she continues to have them"

Wait, you were just saying how she shamelessly has abortions and how you stood up and took responsibility with your pregnancy/baby.

Surely you'd be happy about the abortions if she's popping them out and being so neglectful? Can she win?

AF I don't now (sound like a cow) but I did!!!!!!!! The OP just sounds young to me tbh.

But you are probably right and I should be sleeping not mumsnetting so night all.

MJ, then you deserved to get your arse royally kicked too

having children on the at risk register does not mean other parent gets custody in the case where I've seen this be attempted.
Being on the at risk register isn't always as a result of the parent being guilty of anything, it can be from the parent having ill health

But AF I didn't need another kicking - I was doing my best under extremely difficult circumstances - I was just about holding it together as it was - what I needed - and what I got on SP - was support and understanding and that got me through it and helped me help them.

SP is a wierd old world - brings a whole new range of experiences and emotions. I think there should be more real life support tbh. There may be less issues then.

Expressing them has to be done somewhere or you would go insane (well I would have anyway).

I was always good to my dscs in real life - as evidenced by the excellent relationships I have with dsd and dss now - I just didn't always think good.

Just in case anyone reads into my posts I was horrible to them.

To be fair to you MJ I think we all do that to our own kids at times.

I agree with MJ. I've never posted about being a step-parent because I know what happens. I love the boys and know they love me. Doesn't change the fact that there's things I'm not happy about (but I'll keep that one to myself and save myself).

OP, firstly abandon this thread. Secondly, get over to step parenting and write an OP that covers everything.

If you went through the CSA you would be paying a lot less, your income doesn't come into it, your child does. Also as she's on benefits she'd only be getting £2.50 a week and I know what people are saying about it being nothing to live on but that's the truth, not all this "she should get more" (which might be in an ideal world but it's not the legal truth and it's not the truth that feeds three people)

I think you're being a bit harsh here & maybe some misinterpreting too ?

ie op is fed up with working her fingers to the bone, along with DP,
to provide money for the ex, who, instead of spending it on the son, spends it on wild nights in Blackpool ?

So, in that case, no YANBU.

And, op, if you have any suspicion his son is being neglected, please follow the advice about ss.

CatPuss, shut up.

People don't need to be so mean to get you to understand how badly you're coming across.

Agree with confuddledDOTcom
If it went through CSA she's likely get next to nothing being on benefits, then she may agree to let your partner just buy his son things.
That could be a nicer alternative, him spending £50 a week on clothes, food and stuff for him?
I would be more than happy with that, DS1's father pays f* all, gets away with it by living abroad :/

Confuddled, CSA payments are no longer taken into account with benefits as they cant be relied upon. My cousin had a horrible situation where, due to the amount her ex was supposed to pay, she got £12 per week income support. 9 weeks out of 10 he didnt pay, and she was expected to manage on the £12. Thats why they scrapped taking maintenance into account.

"If it went through CSA she's likely get next to nothing being on benefits"

not true!

£50 food shop at my door curtousy of DS's dad, would be a dream.
:p

sorry, that's great if it's no longer true!

so which is it, having babies constantly or having abortions or sort of mixing and matching? perhaps pop out one kid and then terminate a few pregnancies then keep another child? Still stuck at the blackpool and benefits post towards top of the page sorry

Oh give over. Don't drag your experience into this kids question. She's young, she's new. You know nothing of the day to day goings on & you've exploded your anger on to her.

I'm not entirely clear what the abortions have to do with anything though, is she asking you to pay for them? I thought they were free.

my only "experience" willow, is of being a decent human being

I don't give a shit what the day to day goings on are

this "new, young girl" is a mother and a stepmother (can you call it that, if you are not married to the father of the child, but I digress)

some maturity and common decency wouldn't go amiss here