.....to be upset and pissed off with DH's reaction over sexy dress up

[homealone1]

So.....pre kids we were at it like rabbits, lots of role play, lots of dress up.

3 kids in 5 years later and it's all about poo and sleep habits.

I thought...we're staying in new year's eve so wht not make the most of it. I put all the kids to bed and came down for dinner in a school girl's outfit, fishnets and heels.....and he just laughed! I didn't feel sexy - just felt like an idiot.

We had a row over dinner about something else but no doubt triggered by how I felt about his reaction.

AIBU?

"as I know DH is into it "

Clearly he isn't.

Well either he's not into it and is keeping the schoolgirl porn to insulate the wardrobe, or Hollyghost was nearing the truth (if a little plain spoken ) and what you did didn't match his fantasy by a long chalk.

I think you're right to plan on having an honest chat with him.

Taking the vileness of the schoolgirl outfit aside why did you then go on to make up with him and the rest after he had humiliated you?

even if you are one of the only mothers of three in the UK who could pass as a schoolgirl, in five years time you will look as silly as the rest of us would. It doesn't matter if your figure is as perfect as Madonna's and you take great care of your appearance, you'll still look absurd dressed as a schoolgirl

You are condoning a fetish that you can't realistically be part of, and allowing your dh to have sex with you, when you feel humiliated

you deserve so much better than this

I missed the part where the OP said she felt humiliated by the outfit itself. Do you all have politically correct sex at all times, then?

maybe stop trying so hard, it can be a turn off also the school girl thing well he may have changed his mind about that. be comfortable with yourself that is the biggest turn on

i have always wondered what do women who dress as school girls get out of it. i wear nice sluty underwear, long boots etc but that makes me feel sexy but i do not dress up and would not dress up in a uniform or maids outfit (just don't get it)but how can wearing a school uniform make you feel sexy i find that as odd as a man liking the school girl look

Yellow sex is a matter of taste really isnt it? Just because people dont dress up as school girls doesnt mean that we are lying there in the missionary for procreation only.

holyghost I feel touched by your concerns about my self esteem - I can assure you it is very much intact.

Thank you yellowcoat I never said I felt humilated in any way...just wasn't sure if I was over reacting about shock laughter which is what I think it was in retrospect ( but amused by all the speculations that...."he must have gone off this fetish"...."I must have looked like mutton"....and "anyone would be repulsed by the vile nature of this act"

I do love the idea of politically correct sex....now that's where I've been going wrong

I wasn't implying that the op felt humiliated by the outfit - she is obviously fine with it . Just that most people would find it humiliating if they got dressed up in a way they thought was sexy and got laughed at by their partner. I personally think the op has degraded herself by going on to have sex with her dh after he treated her like that without even discussing it let alone him begging for forgiveness for treating her in such an appalling way. Bt there you go. Me and the op are clearly very different people.

I didn't say you were, Wheresmyjumper. But why are people judging? I'm sure we've all done stuff in the bedroom that would make other people go but that doesn't mean it's not ok. Maybe some find the schoolgirl thing a bit ick, but whatever, it's really not anyone's business to police anyone else's sexuality.

YANBU,

next time he is naked, point and giggle at him!

bloody men xx

I wanted to come back to this to address the debate that has spawned from the OP's original question. Particularly certain aspects of it.

I've discussed and researched a plethera of sexual fetishes with sex therapists and erotic writers and debate on the subject of the schoolgirl is widely split.

I'm of the view that you can't just look at someone with a school girl fetish (or indeed someone who enjoys playing the school girl) and scream ''Vile vile paedophile!''

This fetish is considered to be a typical manifestation of the BDSM fetish, where one person is submissive and the other is dominant. In the schoolgirl role play it's never about the female participant acting like a CHILD. It's a master / slave scenario where the woman is invariably ''punished'' by a person in a more dominant role.

With this in mind, I strongly feel that it has NOTHING to do with participants wanting sex with children or to play the role of an abused child and to suggest as such is short-sighted.

I don't doubt for one second that there are paedophileds who fantasise about school children but it seems to me that dumping everyone with this fetish into that bracket is too general and a rather flimsy veil for your distaste.I feel the sam about the silly arguments that people in 6th year don't wear uniforms. If you lived where I live I'd have to call you a bare-faced liar. No uniform equals no school here.

Another argument raised is the very fact that the word GIRL appears in the word schoolgirl. Semantics. Does everyone think that Cowgirls or Showgirls are actually little girls?!

For the record I don't enjoy the schoolgirl thing myself. But I'm well read enough about people's sexual idiosyncracies to know that there's a bit more to the schoolgirl thing than the uniform.

How did he laugh?

Like, laughing and pointing to make you feel silly? Was he meaning to be mean?

Or laughing at the hilarity of it? Couldn't help himself?

Or laughing in surprise and could very easily have been enticed had you not huffed and stropped at the first hint of a smile?

silentboob grear answer!

Unless he had a known schoolgirl 'thing' (and I agree that this need not trigger a full scale paedo alert klaxon) then an unexpected school girl outfit, out of the blue, no sexy foretalk and flirting, was probably like a sudden fancy dress appearance, and he would laugh out of surprise!

We all need to remember that we cannot guarantee that other people's reactions will fit in with our carefully constructed fantasy.

And stropping was unreasonable - why not laugh, too?