.....to be upset and pissed off with DH's reaction over sexy dress up

[homealone1]

So.....pre kids we were at it like rabbits, lots of role play, lots of dress up.

3 kids in 5 years later and it's all about poo and sleep habits.

I thought...we're staying in new year's eve so wht not make the most of it. I put all the kids to bed and came down for dinner in a school girl's outfit, fishnets and heels.....and he just laughed! I didn't feel sexy - just felt like an idiot.

We had a row over dinner about something else but no doubt triggered by how I felt about his reaction.

AIBU?

Update...put darling 3 yr old DD to bed ( thank fuck she didnt wake up) went to bed...rejected by DH...told to go to sleep...am now woken up by fireworks!

Bit of background for those that may be interested in it. I had a termination nearly 4 weeks ago following contaceptive failure. I put mine and my Dh's interests before a 4th child but the loss is unmeasurable.

I was trying to start a new year on a positive note....that we matter too and it's not all about the kids. It makes it all the sadder

I might go and put my primark cat onesie on.... bestiality in a babygro at the same time!

Although the last time I sauntered to bed wearing it, my husband looked at me, almost fell out of bed laughing and said "what the fuck are you wearing!"

I flicked my tail at him and went for a prowl round the garden...

at squeaky.

My DH wouldn't care knowing what was under it.

Aw sorry OP, crossed posts there, and perhaps what happened is also affecting him too, and he feels unable to get into the right mood. Talk about it with him in the morning, its still only 1st Jan then and in time to get the new year back to a happier start for you both.

Late on the the thread but wanted to say...

What the actual fuck?!

I can't believe I have missed this thread. I am with OP. dress up as you will

(I'm a nurse at the weekend - doesn't mean DH is out fantasising about NHS nurses)

Not really

No D0G he wasn't up for it and as I said in my first post, I think it was a misguided choice - I just mean under usual circumstances.

homealone - there's obviously a lot more to all of this than meets the eye. Sorry for what you've been through recently. Have a bit of a chat with your DH in the morning.

Sorry to put melancholy into the "raunchy" thread. Was not my intention. But I do think that is what triggered some of my actions tonight...to make a statement that our needs are important too.

We have spent over 5 years putting our needs second to the kids and for just one night I wanted to justify our joint decision to not have another one.

I can imagine that there's a wide range of reactions post termination in your circumstance - one of which may well be being a tad 'scared' of having sex, since that's exactly what lead to the situation you're in. Could be that your DH might be feeling that. Not that laughing at you is the right way to reject advances, but maybe he is freaking out inside a little bit too.

So whereas you're keen to get back in the saddle to justify your decision, he might be feeling a bit panicky about having sex at all (i.e. it's not about not wanting sex with you, but about temporarily not wanting sex at all). Neither of you are wrong to feel this way, and this might not even be the case for him, but that's why you need to talk.

we had sex 2 days ago

I reckon that he was just surprised

Talk to him but Don`t stop having fun

homealone you are 4 weeks after the abortion. You don't have to justify it. Give yourself a break pet. I know you are trying to look for reassurance that things haven't changed. I've been there too. All you can do now is look after yourself. Things will get easier.

YANBU DH was being spiteful.

Happy New Year

If you want to dress up in a school uniform OP you go for it and don't listen to the ones who dress up as bus conductors and lollypop ladies.
:)

Britney Spears, 'Baby One More Time', pretty sure every teenage boy, man in his 20s, 30s, 40s yes even 50s wanted to shag her fucking stupid when they saw her in this video...also pretty sure she was only 17 at the time but cannot for the life of me remember any public uproar about it being 'icky' or 'disgusting'. To this day it's an iconic image of sex.

Get off your high-horses fuck sake, perfectly acceptable.

I think it's great! Good for you. It's great to keep it all alive and sexy! I do it every now and then and it's great! He w as prob just shocked x

Absolutely nothing wrong with dressing up, I dress up in stockings and suspenders for my dh and a nurses outfit and believe me he doesn't laugh!! But I know my dh and if I suddenly turned up out of the blue in that get up he would love it.

Some men maybe need the 'mood set' or whatever a another poster said, it all depends on your husband.

However, I wouldn't dress up as a school girl, I just wouldn't feel comfortable having sex in that outfit.

But I would be so hurt if I dressed up in something and he laughed!!!!! The way I see it you were trying to inject a bit of fun and variety into what is probably a very mundane life (like it is when you have children, mine is) and there is nothing wrong with that at all.

But I would also try and talk to him tell him how you feel and why he laughed. Maybe it was surprise, or shock who knows.

Does he actually like you dressing up? Maybe some men don't?

Missed your post homealone, so sorry. Look, don't give yourself a hard time or him for that matter. Sometimes things can't get back to the way they were so soon and you have to give yourself time.

But keep talking to him, a marriage is built on communication not outfits and I bet the next time you do something nice for him you will both enjoy it.
Good luck xx

The last thing my DH would want to do (hopefully) is act out a fantasy about having sex with a child.

'cause it's creepy.

Doesn't excuse your DH humiliating you though/

It's not about acting out a fantasy about sex with a child, just like when it's a nurses outfit it doesn't mean he has a fantasies about nurses. It's what it represents, it's being two teenagers without all the worries of being adults/ parents, it's about what sex meant to you as a teenager. It's not one adult and one child, it's about feeling like two teenagers.

'Sexy' schoolgirl outfits are nasty. I reckon if your dressing up outfit has become such a cliche that screeching hen parties in Blackpool think it's a good look, you're running the risk of being laughed at tbh. I also think that most people look like Beryl Cook ladies when they wear fishnets. Steer away from the Wetherspoons look and into AgProv or similar.

Still, not nice of him to laugh.

Anyone who has a problem with it is obviously boring and jealous! Saddlos! Go for it! I have a great sex life with my partner with and without dressing up and its great. One day the kids will have grown up and left home and you still need that horny spark with your man! Take no notice of the boring buggers! Their loss- or maybe their husbands!

Wow Rowood just wow..Yep we are all jealous how did you know??? Was it that obvious?? You have shown me the error of my ways..I shall now go and dress as a child to please my man..Cos thats what its about innit pleasing the menz lol hun...I mean he might stray if I dont have his dinner on the table, watch porn and go to lap dancing clubs with him..Its what all men want really..

Lets set aside the fact about the dressing up, she is FOUR WEEKS after an abortion, I think its about more than us "jealous saddos" and more to do with what she is going through.