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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is the last year I'm doing this?

214 replies

changingnicknameforxmas · 26/12/2011 10:48

Today I will go to my parents for lunch with my family.

Parents, me, my 2 kids, my two brothers, their partners and kids.

As I've alluded to on another thread I will go there today, and the difference that's made between me and my brothers and my kids and their kids will be stark and obvious. And I will probably weep in the car on the way home.

So, I'm not doing it next year. Next year I'll do something else.

I'm a single parent. My kids are with the ex on Christmas Day or Boxing Day, depending. So I won't have a day just me and the kids (they arrived late yesterday)

I will go today and I have to bring the vegetables and the desserts. My brothers and their partners bring no food.

I cannot drink as there is only me, and I have to drive. Brothers and parents will get completely and utterly bladdered. And offensive, and rude. About everything.

My parents will dish out their gifts to the grandchildren and my children will receive "token" presents (scarves and bath bombs last year) whilst my brothers' children receive expensive gifts (bike and ipod touches last year).

My brothers will receive gifts from my parents (last year a book, a dvd and a jumper/fleece each). I will receive nothing.

Every other person in the room will have gifts to open. I will not.

I will be expected to fetch drinks/help dish out/help clear up. My brothers and their wives will sit and not help at all. I will, if past experience is anything to go by, not be offered a drink while my father runs around going "brother1s wife can I get you a drink? Brother2s wife? Oh, your drink's finished B1W let me get you another no don't get up, changing will get it for you"

So, MN jury, AIBU to say fuck the fucking lot of you to hell and back I'm not fucking going next year?

OP posts:
peggyblackett · 26/12/2011 11:21

Glad you've decided to not go - well done.

felicitywits · 26/12/2011 11:21

I think you should go and pull them up on it. Ask why the difference in gifts (since that's tangible). Then don't go next year or ever again.

My parents scapegoat me too - my golden child sister doesn't have kids yet but I'm dreading how they'll act when she does.

mominamillion · 26/12/2011 11:21

Good post annie.

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 26/12/2011 11:22

A long time lurker, but I have to post on this, please, please, do not go, you owe them nothing, don't let them upset you or your children anymore.

You are in charge, have a lovely day, just you and your children, and desserts!!!

felicitywits · 26/12/2011 11:22

Cross posted, ignore me, hope the call went well x

Anniegetyourgun · 26/12/2011 11:25

Ah, cross-posted with round about a whole page. Well done.

hanaka88 · 26/12/2011 11:25

How did it go?

Kewcumber · 26/12/2011 11:26

Hope you manage to pluck up the courage to not go (am also liking the sound of your boyfriend a lot)

HavePatience · 26/12/2011 11:28

Don't go! How awful Sad

EnjoyResponsiblyIfSleighFlying · 26/12/2011 11:30

Don't go. Stay home, play games and eat all your lovely food yourself.

Honestly, what is the worst thing that could happen if you do that. It's not like they can be any meaner is it?

Demonata · 26/12/2011 11:30

Lurking with nervous anticipation. Go Changing!

stuffedauberginexmasdinner · 26/12/2011 11:30

Not only should you not go but you should cut out this toxic family from your life. Good riddance.

Original poster
changingnicknameforxmas · 26/12/2011 11:30

Done.

What will they do without the veggies and dessert? - The shop is open, I'm sure they'll have frozen veg and gateaux.

So sorry to hear we're not well. Everyone will be disappointed not to see us.

Presents were not mentioned.

Who was it was making tea? Smile me and the kids are having a duvet pj dvd day Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
changingnicknameforxmas · 26/12/2011 11:31

BTW Annie - you hit the nail on the head

OP posts:
SlackSally · 26/12/2011 11:31

Go you!

What an excellent and life-affirming decision you've made.

Have an awesome day.

hippoCritt · 26/12/2011 11:32

so pleased for you all! enjoy your day

LovingChristmas · 26/12/2011 11:32

Hope the call went ok, I know how bloody annoyingly persuasive people can be, pleased don't be swayed by "what will we do now etc" tough, their problem! Maybe your Brothers will have to get something sorted!
Enjoy your afternoon snuggled up with the kids on the sofa watching cheesy films and pigging on chocolate, after you've eaten for lunch the lovely food you cooked your ungrateful family.

fivegomadindorset · 26/12/2011 11:33

Well done, have a fabulous boxing day and hope you are all feeling better soon.

Mutt · 26/12/2011 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasENormaSnob · 26/12/2011 11:34

Why would you put your kids through that, let alone yourself.

Don't go.

LovingChristmas · 26/12/2011 11:34

You can even have a glass of Wine with your lovely food now you've not go to drive!

Well done for going through with it, enjoy your day.

BellaVita · 26/12/2011 11:35

Yay, well done. Now get your feet up!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 26/12/2011 11:35

HURRRRRRAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Well done OP

First step to a new life?

Have a lovely day.

FabbyChic · 26/12/2011 11:35

Have a lovely day with your children, and remember next year you aren't going either.

SantasENormaSnob · 26/12/2011 11:36

X posts x millions Smile

You've made the right choice IMO

Enjoy your day.

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