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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take real coffee with me when visiting someone ?

196 replies

Tillyscoutsmum · 13/12/2011 19:27

OK. I accept I am a bit of a coffee snob. I don't drink that much of it but do enjoy a cup in the morning and after meals. I only like proper ground coffee and really can't stomach instant.

So, here is the dilemma. We are visiting someone over Christmas for 5 days. They only have instant coffee. They are fantastic hosts. The food, wine etc. is always lovely (and more importantly, they are generally great company). I do miss a decent cup of coffee though Sad

WIBU to take along our cafetiere and some ground coffee to use whilst we are there or would that be really offensive ?

OP posts:
MudAndGlitter · 13/12/2011 19:27

Would you share it?

WoTmania · 13/12/2011 19:28

YANBU I do the same.

londonone · 13/12/2011 19:28

Would be better to buy them some fancy coffe and a cafetiere as a thank you gift for the stay, then offer to make coffe for everyone

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 13/12/2011 19:29

If you were a real mate of mine I wouldn't mind at all, but I would take the piss out of you for five days. Xmas Smile

Original poster
Tillyscoutsmum · 13/12/2011 19:29

Of course - anyone who wanted some would be welcome to it but I know our host actually likes really weak, instant coffee so it wouldn't be to her taste.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 13/12/2011 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buttonmoon78 · 13/12/2011 19:29

Take them a cafetiere and a bag of different nice coffees as a gift and then say half-jokingly that it would be lovely to have some now as you'd chosen them specially. That would not BU.

If you just take your own coffee and pot then I'm afraid that would BU.

ColdTurkeyRemains · 13/12/2011 19:29

Could you take that as a gift? And then show them how it works repeatedly?

foreverondiet · 13/12/2011 19:30

Neither DH or I drink coffee - so buy instant (as ground coffee goes off). I use in cakes, cleaner has occasional cup. Its actually embarrassing when someone asks for coffee and I don't have. We have a cafetiere somewhere. I think ok to take with gift of ground coffee, perhaps a couple of different bags.... would be rude to take with just for you to use and expect to take rest home.

Rooble · 13/12/2011 19:30

I think it's a bit rude (unless you're vg friends and can laugh at yourself) - I'm a massive coffee snob, so tend to only accept tea when I stay with people whose coffee doesn't meet my standards!

WoTmania · 13/12/2011 19:30

I'm evil without my morning coffee and it's a lot better for everybody if I've had a decent cup first thing. I then usually move onto tea but that first cup is vital.

buttonmoon78 · 13/12/2011 19:30

Londonone great minds Wink

My DH is also a coffee snob but he would just go with it and ask for extra instant so it at least tasted of something!

Methe · 13/12/2011 19:30

YANBU. If you came here you would have to bring your own, we dont have coffee in the house!

LemonDifficult · 13/12/2011 19:31

YABU. My uncles and aunts do variations of this and it is so rude. One uncle goes everywhere with his own cafetiere.

I think it's also aging, younger people don't tend to behave like this. It's middle-aged and the start of being one of 'those' guests.

aldiwhore · 13/12/2011 19:31

What linerunner said! (But then I have a coffee maker so you'd be alright here)

AristoKat · 13/12/2011 19:31

If you were visiting for a day, I would say just suck it up. but for a week, YANBU. I say this as a 'coffee snob' myself.

pebbledasher · 13/12/2011 19:32

I'd take my own and offer to make everyone coffee. If they liked the coffee, I'd magic up a gift of another cafetiere and coffee to leave with them. If you just give them the set as a present and they're not used to using it, you might have to spend each morning gazing at it longingly while it sneers back, all nicely wrapped up and waiting to go in a cupboard for re-gifting.

AristoKat · 13/12/2011 19:33

oh and yes you would have to share. it is not difficult to make weak coffee. Make it to your strength, pour small amount for host and top with hot water/milk.

ATruthFestivelyAcknowledged · 13/12/2011 19:33

Personally I wouldn't be offended (but I would expect you to make me a cuppa each time you make yours!) Could you approach it as 'I've discovered this great coffee so I've bought a packet of it with me for us to share. Wasn't sure if you had a cafetiere so I've bought you one of those too'

Oh, make sure you take some yummy biccies to go with it Smile

FootprintsInTheSnow · 13/12/2011 19:33

You can get a cafetiere cheaply enough in asda to gift - even if it is a gift that is never used again after you leave!

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 13/12/2011 19:34

I take my own tea bags to my brother's if I'm popping in for an hour so YAdefNBU :)

LadyHarrietDeSpook · 13/12/2011 19:34

What LemonDifficult said about being one of 'those guests'

GColdtimer · 13/12/2011 19:35

Yanbu. I can't see the problem. You like something they don't have so you are taking your own. It's only like going out and buying a proper paper if your hosts only got the mail delivered Grin

AristoKat · 13/12/2011 19:35

just be honest 'i don't like instant and you like yours like piss so I have brought my own you can't have any/it is for us all [delete as appropriate]'.

My friend drinks decaf, I don't have it, she brings her own (well, in fact, she now has a jar of instant decaf and some redbush in the cupboard to save bringing it over).

CailinDana · 13/12/2011 19:36

It really depends on how friendly you are with them. I am a total coffee snob too and I would hate to go anywhere for that long with no prospect of real coffee so I would probably do the same if I felt comfortable enough with my hosts. In fact I bought my parents an espresso pot as a "present" and now they make themselves coffee every Sunday after lunch. Offers of coffee at other times (only made by me when I visit) are met with a bemused refusal as it is not Official Fresh Coffee Time. My parents are seriously odd.

I cannot under any circumstances drink instant coffee. It is absolutely foul.