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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take real coffee with me when visiting someone ?

196 replies

Tillyscoutsmum · 13/12/2011 19:27

OK. I accept I am a bit of a coffee snob. I don't drink that much of it but do enjoy a cup in the morning and after meals. I only like proper ground coffee and really can't stomach instant.

So, here is the dilemma. We are visiting someone over Christmas for 5 days. They only have instant coffee. They are fantastic hosts. The food, wine etc. is always lovely (and more importantly, they are generally great company). I do miss a decent cup of coffee though Sad

WIBU to take along our cafetiere and some ground coffee to use whilst we are there or would that be really offensive ?

OP posts:
WhoopsyLa · 13/12/2011 19:59

YADNBU I would...I can barely cope with visitin someone for a day if they only have instant coffee. Blech.

PiratecatClaus · 13/12/2011 19:59

if they are close friends or family then i would, and i'd be comfortable in saying, 'oh by the way you know what i'm like with my coffee, hope you don't mind but i'm bringing my cafetiere'

anyone else not so close, i would not.

usualsuspect · 13/12/2011 20:01

I would just think you were a bit of a snob full stop tbh

I mean would you take your own bread,tea bags etc if the ones provided didn't come up to your standards

AriesWithBellsOn · 13/12/2011 20:02

I wonder if self confessed coffee snobbery is only acceptable in terms of coffee. I wonder what kind of reaction someone would have had if they said something about not being able to bear normal bread so they take their organic crusty wanky loaves with them? Or something?

AriesWithBellsOn · 13/12/2011 20:02

Excellent cross postage.

OrwellianNightmare · 13/12/2011 20:02

YANBU, but buy it for them (cafetiere and coffee) as a present. And take the piss out of your real coffee preferences. I bet they'll enjoy having fresh coffee made for the household every morning (as you obviously must not make coffee only for yourself).

I always take decent Yorkshire Tea bags to my in-laws (who don't drink tea, and buy in Tesco budget tea bags for me). My Dad always brings his own very weak coffee when he stays with me (think Mellow Birds) as he hates the fresh, strong coffee that we have. I always take my own teabags to foreign hotels and B&Bs to avoid Lipton yellow awfulness. I used to have to bring a kettle when we stayed with American friends, who didn't have one and used to make tea in the microwave!

I think that the quality of our daily cuppa is an important personal issue, much more so than what we eat.

justcallmemummypig · 13/12/2011 20:03

we only drink tea so i just have those packet coffees for when people come over, wouldn't mind at allif you brought it. In fact i would far rather people brought their own than came here and said "oh you use xxxx, oh i only drink yyyy" grr

Dozer · 13/12/2011 20:04

Rude!

5 days is a bloody long time to be on hosting duty, please tell us more about the hosts, and introduce me to them? Sounds nice and I like any old coffee!

NinkyNonker · 13/12/2011 20:05

Sure, take it with a little hamper type thing as if you were bringing gifts for the household and offer to everyone each time you make.

GoingForGoalWeight · 13/12/2011 20:05

Just take bag of preferred ground and cafetiere. No need for expensive machines i think that is OTT. :)

thestringcheesemassacre · 13/12/2011 20:06

It would depend how good a friend you are. Can you say to them, i'm sorry, I'm such a pain in the arse about coffee, blah blah? I have some friends I could do this too, but some I would put up with the piss to avoid hurting feelings.

FootprintsInTheSnow · 13/12/2011 20:07

My MIL reversed this on me once. She knew I wasn't really 'into' the instant - and she knew she was going to have a Christmas houseful - so she bought one of those american style drip machines. It was actually more practical than all that spooning and stirring that comes with a tray full of instant coffee.

OrwellianNightmare · 13/12/2011 20:08

GoingForGoalWeight, that's what the OP proposes doing.

MrsPeterDoherty · 13/12/2011 20:10

I'd take my stove top espresso maker (alessiXmas Grin) and my special milk frother. I'd also take Earl Grey tea leaves and my silver tea strainer which has its own special silver saucer, on feet.

I love decent hot drinks, and anyone who is having you to stay for 5 days must be a good friend who could cope.

My best friend takes his own bedding (including mattress) when he visits his parents

NotJustForClassic · 13/12/2011 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thepeoplesprincess · 13/12/2011 20:12

I think if you know them well enough to spend five days there, then you should be able to all get over this particular friendship hurdle relatively unscathed.

My best mate makes the most hideous weak tea known to mankind, and I frequently have to resort to fishing the bag back out of the bin and sticking it back in the cup to stew. She then makes sick noises and I then sneer at her tea-making skills. And we all live happily ever after.

sozzledchops · 13/12/2011 20:12

At first I thought snotty cow thinking it was just a short visit of an hour or so. I wouldn't be offended though if you are coming to stay for a few days. We only have instant, as long as you're prepared to share the good stuff!

NellieForbush · 13/12/2011 20:13

If you are staying with them for 5 days over Christmas they are surely good enough friends for you to honestly say "I'm a grump without my coffee so I've brought my own would anyone else like one?".

I think its fine. Five days is too long if you're basically addicted.

If I was the host I wouldn't mind (but may laugh at you openly) but would be much happier than if you were missing your favourite brew all over the holiday.

whackamole · 13/12/2011 20:13

YANBU as it is for a week! Just make sure you have a very non-offensive way of explaining why you have brought it!

CuriousMama · 13/12/2011 20:16

Ask them. I'd say yes but then again dp is a coffee snob, I prefer instant, so we have a cafetiere and coffee at all times. I'm sure they'll say bring it by all means and secretly take the piss Xmas Wink

Firawla · 13/12/2011 20:23

It depends on your relationship with them. I drink instant and my bros and sister say I make it horrible so when they come round if they want coffee they make real coffee for all of us, I don't mind because of our relationship it comes over okay, as they are close enough to say that without being offended but someone i didnt know so well I may find it rude. Also they are happy to eat/drink any other things i would offer them, so that makes it okay. Whereas my parents when they come moan about everything and even bring their own pack lunch mostly because they dont want anything that we will offer them, although they will drink our tea if we have plain green tea in.
I think its ruder to refuse or bring ur own instead of food that people have cooked but if its just a case of you dont like instant so will bring your own coffee thats fine. If someone doesn't like instant coffee then thats up to them, doesn't really offend me as i bought the coffee not like i made the whole jar myself but people making a fuss about food and bringing so many different things is rude

BarkisIsWillin · 13/12/2011 20:28

I would get a headache if I didn't have a decent coffee by 11 am. I have a Nespresso machine but would be fine with decent strength cafetiere/stovetop expresso machine. Instant coffee actually makes me puke. I have brought my own cafetiere when staying for a weekend with a non-coffee drinking friend, but knowing my preferences she had already bought one before I arrived! So, YA definitely NBU, bring your coffee. Just make sure you don't leave messy coffee grounds in their sink.

StealthPolarBear · 13/12/2011 20:30

I wouldn't mind. I am the opposite, not keen on real, love instant. When I stay somewhere where they only drink 'proper' coffee I am desperate for an instant after a day or so. Agree with whoever said it's a completely different drink!

perfumedlife · 13/12/2011 20:33

I'm totally in agreement with Orwellian, it's the all important morning cuppa, if you have it a certain way, the day just can't start without it.

The one and only time I've been to Mil's house, she showed a tea bag to a chipped mug of warm water and that was that. Yet comes to me and demands a warmed pot of fresh leaves, brewed for five minutes and not a second less. Odd one.

I just can't get started without a pot of black coffee, caffetiere or whatever, not fussy but instant doesn't taste like I've had any coffee. It's just what you are used to.

Tigresswoods · 13/12/2011 20:33

My aunty line "proper" coffee and I always forget to get some in for her visits. I wish she would just bring her own.

YANBU

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