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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to take real coffee with me when visiting someone ?

196 replies

Tillyscoutsmum · 13/12/2011 19:27

OK. I accept I am a bit of a coffee snob. I don't drink that much of it but do enjoy a cup in the morning and after meals. I only like proper ground coffee and really can't stomach instant.

So, here is the dilemma. We are visiting someone over Christmas for 5 days. They only have instant coffee. They are fantastic hosts. The food, wine etc. is always lovely (and more importantly, they are generally great company). I do miss a decent cup of coffee though

WIBU to take along our cafetiere and some ground coffee to use whilst we are there or would that be really offensive ?

OP posts:

HoHoOpotomus · 14/12/2011 15:05

YANBU I would

mumeeee · 14/12/2011 15:09

I think it would be a bit rude, Unless you take it as a gift for them. I drink instant most of the time and you can actually get decent instant, But I do drink real coffee occansionly.

LemonEmmaP · 14/12/2011 15:12

When friends of ours come to stay, they bring some one cup filters from Douwe Egberts. Now, I know nothing about coffee (hence why they have resorted to bringing their own!) but it seems to be a reasonable compromise - not quite as extreme as bringing out your own cafetiere, but might hit the spot coffee wise!

I have to say I am not at all offended!

TheRuderBarracuda · 14/12/2011 15:13

YANBU - (apologies not read whole thread) but I am of the feeble instant coffee type and I have actually taken my own delicious cheap instant granules to a friend's house because I prefer it. They have a fabulous real coffee machine - the works - I accept I am a coffee philistine. And yes I would expect to be taken the piss out of for it. I wouldn't offer a cafetiere and real coffee as a gift because I fear that could be taken for "here, treat yourself to some superior coffee like mine" when there are those of us out there that like being coffee plebs!

drinkystinkyyuletidegubbins · 14/12/2011 15:18

Talk to your friend about it - if they know you well enough, they may be planning on buying some in anyway. And if not, if you've talked about it in advance, they cant be offended.

FWIW, my SIL only drinks earl grey, my MIL only drinks a particular type of green tea, my parents only like a type of instant coffee I cant stand and my sister only likes a particular brand of teabag... and we're hosting for both families this christmas, so I'm buying in all sorts of stuff we dont normally drink and will be sending any leftovers home with them.

exoticfruits · 14/12/2011 15:53

People don't read the whole thread! They do know them well -it is PIL.

GColdtimer · 14/12/2011 17:25

Why on earth is it a slight on the host ffs. i would much rather my guests were happy and comfortable and had the things they liked.

HereKittyKitty · 14/12/2011 21:51

I do this. One New Year I said I was never drinking instant again and it has been a bloody brilliant decision! I take real coffee everywhere, but would expect to share if they wanted it.

Mind you, I was in the Unreasonable Camp regarding the children's party and the orange squash v Mummy's own organic juice brought from home that wsa a thread a few weeks ago. I'm obviously fickle...

AriesWithBellsOn · 14/12/2011 22:01

I still don't get how that's different.

StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2011 22:02

But mumeee they drink instant and do not like real coffee!

Tryharder · 14/12/2011 22:10

It depends on how well you know them.

As you are staying with them for 5 days, it does suggest that you are closely related or very good friends so can't imagine for a minute they would be offended (or at least they shouldn't be!)

If it's the parents of your new boyfriend then I would suggest not taking your own coffee however....

scrappydoodah · 14/12/2011 23:41

I wouldn't mind, unless you are one of those painful people who leave a light dusting of coffee all over the work surfaces, and then sling the grounds in the sink blocking the drains.

Such people make very poor house guests.

flyingspaghettimonster · 15/12/2011 03:51

I have the oposite problem - I take my Gold Blend to my in laws and get ridiculed for that :-)

Xmasbaby11 · 15/12/2011 07:07

I feel your pain! I am a coffee snob too and would not drink instant. I would do it if you are close enough to have a bit of a laugh about it, ie joking about what a monster you are without your caffeine. Taking the mickey out of yourself will make it clear it's about you and your weakness rather than their poor hosting.

Alternatively (this is what I do), I'd work out where the local coffee shops are and plan 'walks' in the vicinity.

Clossaintjacques · 15/12/2011 07:38

Well I must be a real coffee snob then because I think cafetiere coffee in the main is awful. Do you mean the glass push down type from the 80's? If so YABU. Bleurgghh!

auntpetunia · 15/12/2011 07:42

YANBU I only drink red bush tea, most people don't, I have a little box with tea bags in in my handbag I take it everywhere with me. If I was going for 5 days I'd take a box of 80!

Morloth · 15/12/2011 07:43

I don't really get how it is rude.

I make tea in a pot, with leaves, really strong.

Mum hates this so I keep a box of her preferred brand of tea bags in the cupboard, she will periodically take the box home so they don't go stale and I pick up a new box to keep in the cupboard for her.

I have a friend who likes Moccona, I don't know why, but he is here often enough that it is worth keeping a jar.

People like what they like. Now if OP were demanding that her inlaws provide her preferred coffee that would be rude, but it isn't rude to sort yourself out if you have a preference.

My morning coffee is everyone's number one priority in this house. I will run around for them, I will cook, I will clean, I will wash, I will change stinky nappies anything and everything as necessary and all I need to so this happily is 15 minutes in the morning to have my coffee and get my shit together.

scaryteacher · 15/12/2011 09:42

Why don't you take coffee bags, which are a perfectly acceptable substitute, and avoid the cafetiere palava? You can buy them in Waitrose and Sainsbury's, and Tesco as well. They are made by Lyons. Thye are fresh ground coffee in a bag which is foil wrapped. Instant makes me ill if I drink too much, so coffee bags were my salvation at school, and I always have them at home if I can't be arsed to make a cafetiere just for me.

ShrimpOnTheBarbie · 15/12/2011 11:10

I wouldn't think it a slight at all. In fact I would prefer it if someone coming to stay brought something they particularly liked that I didn't have.
Funnily enough, I am happy to drink instant (granules, not powder) and love a proper strong coffee from a machine but really dislike plunger coffee/drip machine/coffee bags.

Goolash · 15/12/2011 14:33

If you're staying somewhere for that length of time then yanbu. You know them well, make a joke of it! We always take our stove top expresso maker if we're away for several days.

It's be different if you'd been invited over for a dinner party. Then as the cheese and biscuits arrive you plonk the cafetiere and ground on the table

diddl · 15/12/2011 15:14

I wouldn´t be offended but I´d wonder why you couldn´t do without coffee for 5 days.

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