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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take real coffee with me when visiting someone ?

196 replies

Tillyscoutsmum · 13/12/2011 19:27

OK. I accept I am a bit of a coffee snob. I don't drink that much of it but do enjoy a cup in the morning and after meals. I only like proper ground coffee and really can't stomach instant.

So, here is the dilemma. We are visiting someone over Christmas for 5 days. They only have instant coffee. They are fantastic hosts. The food, wine etc. is always lovely (and more importantly, they are generally great company). I do miss a decent cup of coffee though Sad

WIBU to take along our cafetiere and some ground coffee to use whilst we are there or would that be really offensive ?

OP posts:
Dunrovin · 13/12/2011 20:35

If you are staying in ther house for 5 days it is perfectly OK to take your cafitiere and favourite coffee - everyone knows that there are some things - like the rigt cup of tea, or coffee, that you just need as a home comfort. As long as you take enough coffee with you, make it yourself and don't expect them to do it for you, and offer it around it's absolutley fine. I would do it, and I would expect someone who was addicted to espresso to bring thier own stove top Mokka thing, or a tea drinker to bring a teapot if they knew I didn't have one.
Being a houseguest for 5 days is about mucking in together.

gettingeasier · 13/12/2011 20:37

YANBU 100% but yes take enough to go around everyone Smile

lollopybear · 13/12/2011 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stuffedauberginexmasdinner · 13/12/2011 20:46

The only way for this not to be rude is for you to buy them one as a gift.

nerfmum · 13/12/2011 20:54

My mum brings some 'coffee bags' (lyonns i think) in case I don't have and real coffee in. Its not a problem. And my sister likes to drink earl grey, so carries some round in her handbag.
I think the coffee bags are a good idea as they are very easy to use if your friends are not at all used to making proper coffee as a cafetiere can be a bit daunting.

SantasStrapon · 13/12/2011 20:58

Hideously rude behaviour. I'm in the buy them a cafetiere and some coffee camp. Otherwise you are going to come across as rather precious.

It's 5 days, it's not going to kill you.

spiderslegs · 13/12/2011 21:02

YANBU, I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if guests of mine did this, a friend of mine likes de-caf & always brings some or some herbal tea when she comes to visit, why it would bother anyone I don't know, unless the guests weren't particularly welcome in the first place.

mockingjay · 13/12/2011 21:09

YANBU, sounds fine to me. I wouldn't take it as a gift for hosting though, as some are suggesting. If they're kindly putting you up for 5 whole days, they deserve a gift they would like rather than one you would use.

Morloth · 13/12/2011 21:10

I take my nespresso machine with me if we aren't flying.

The trick here is to let people have a giggle at you.

5 days without real coffee would be dangerous for me and everyone around me.

mockingjay · 13/12/2011 21:11

but santasstrapon, they don't drink coffee and so wouldn't want a cafetiere!

SantasStrapon · 13/12/2011 21:13

They can use it when they have guests. Xmas Grin

Dunrovin · 13/12/2011 21:13

What's the point of buying them a cafitiere if they don't want one, don't like real coffee and would never use it? Much better to say 'you know how I am about my coffee, and I'm not human without my cup in the morning so I hope it's all right with you, I've come equipped' that a rather patronising or passive aggressive 'I know you don't have one, so I've brought you one' when it is obviousl it is for your use and benefit.

mockingjay · 13/12/2011 21:14

fair point Xmas Wink

SantasStrapon · 13/12/2011 21:18

Actually, I like Dunrovin's approach too.

BarkisIsWillin · 13/12/2011 21:21

Morloth I like your style! I think you can actually buy carry cases for them Xmas Grin

Bue · 13/12/2011 21:24

I don't think this is rude, my BIL always bring peppermint tea with him when he comes because he knows we only have the regular stuff. Obviously offers it to everyone. What you're proposing is really no different.

rockinhippy · 13/12/2011 21:24

YANBU - I do the same & as I'm evil without real coffee on a morning, if they take offence thats their problem not mine - I will share of course & I do tend to play it from the angle of not going to drink that foul tasting chemical laden shite I can only stomach natural coffee, instant makes me ill, so I hope you don't mind Wink

NotJustForClassic · 13/12/2011 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treacletart · 13/12/2011 21:26

My MIL always brings her own instant with her to our place 'cos she doesn't like the proper stuff.

maydaychild · 13/12/2011 21:28

Santas strapon
If I had to go 5 days without real coffee I would kill everyone in the vicinity. Caffiene is addictive!
Take it. Take piss out of yourself.
I take my slippers when visiting friends just for a cuppa. I keep 3 diff types of tea in my cupboard for friends (I do not drink tea)
And I take my own pillow and radio alarm clock whenever staying over somewhere.
With my creature comforts in place I'm angelic. Without, stand well back!

StealthPolarBear · 13/12/2011 21:31

Yes, agree, of they choose to drink instant they would not welcome a catetiere. People on this thread seem to think you'd be doing them a favour!

Mmmcoffee · 13/12/2011 21:35

If you're visiting for 5 days over Christmas, you must be pretty good friends. Just tell them you don't really like instant coffee, produce a cafetiere and a big bag of real coffee, and offer it round every time there's a brew up. I have a fab percolator that drips straight into a thermos jug with a lid, you can make a whole jug at a time and it keeps hot and tasting good for a good couple of hours and it travels with me Blush.

perfumedlife · 13/12/2011 21:38

You can buy those little filter cones and paper filters that stand over the mug, put some coffee in filter and pour over hot water. Just as good as a caffetiere and less bulky. I have taken these to travel lodges and they are great.

Gawd, morning coffee is serious business Xmas Grin

perfumedlife · 13/12/2011 21:39

And I agree with Stealth, buying them a gift of something they don't like is not on. Honesty is the best policy here.

MerylStrop · 13/12/2011 21:43

I'd not be offended.When my mum comes to mine she brings her own instant muck.

If you know them well enough to stay for 5 days you know them well enough to tell them that you really hate instant so you'll be bringing your own