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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my dh is a total twat

216 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 26/11/2011 23:03

hes just got back from a jolly fucking holiday in Spain. Second holiday without us this year.

He went a few days after I was discharged from hospital after a week stay with a slipped disc. He actually booked it last minute while I was in hospital.
When he left I was still pretty much bed bound and sleeping a lot due to morphine.

While he's been one dd has been poorly with a terrible old and has been off school for three days. I've hadthis awful cold, possible flu. Terrible sore throat, raised temp, sweating buckets, not sleeping.

He's come back and is slamming around downstairs. I was in bed. After 30 mins I o down, he's ignoring me. I ask him what the problem is and he's moaning about the house being a mess.

It's not that fucking bad. Front room is cluttered as dd has been doing craft stuff which I couldnt face sorting, I haven't hoovered as I'm not allowed due to my back. Kitchen has been cleaned but dishwasher needed stacking. There are some bits on the stairs that need bringing up.

How fucking dare he be such a cunt. He's had a weeks holiday and left me home sick. I'd never have gone if he'd been as bad as I was when he left. Yes he didn't know I was going o get this bad cold, flu thing buti was really bad with my back. I've told him how upset I feel and he's still not talking to me.

OP posts:
Esta3GG · 26/11/2011 23:12

He saw a paragliding holiday he wanted to go on so went

FFS. Does he have any concept of what marriage and family life is supposed to be?
What a dickhead.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 26/11/2011 23:12

I just can't get over him booking a holiday while you were in hospital so he could go when you got out of hospital.

When you would need him.

Having just got out of hospital.

And he left you with the child/children after you'd been so bad with your back that you were in hospital for a week. and now he's bitching at you because you have failed in your duty as his maid.

I am gobsmacked.

Are you planning on continuing to put up with this?

VivaLeBeaver · 26/11/2011 23:12

Has he any redeeming points?

Apart from free childcare when I work shifts no not really. If I had a 9-5 job I think the locks would be changed next week.

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsRootyFroots · 26/11/2011 23:12

Do you want to be with him? Why are you still with him? Is it the practical stuff? That seems like a big deal but really it isn't.

thatboysmum · 26/11/2011 23:12

He is behaving like a twat. I would just ignore him and let him get on with it. I would be finding it really hard not to tell him to fuck off back to wherever if he doesn't like it or get on and do it himself. I would be really pissed off with his attitude.

cjbartlett · 26/11/2011 23:13

Just read your latest post - why ate you with him? You must really love him to put up with crap like that

And your poor dd, you could find someone nice who wants to holiday with her you know

LoopyLoopsRootyFroots · 26/11/2011 23:13

He's still DD's dad. He can still do the childcare.

squeakytoy · 26/11/2011 23:13

Free childcare? They are HIS kids too.. that isnt doing you a favour, it should be part of him being a parent.

KouklaMoo · 26/11/2011 23:13

He's an arse

LeBOF · 26/11/2011 23:14

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

tethersend · 26/11/2011 23:14

YABU.

He's not a twat.

He's a cunt.

VivaLeBeaver · 26/11/2011 23:15

Oh and I can't afford a fucking holiday because he keeps all his money separate from mine. I work part time mainly due to dd. He earns 3x what I do.

I did take dd to Egypt two years ago and I asked if he'd pay some of her holiday cost and he refused to. Said if I wanted to take her on holiday I could pay.

We do o skiing as a family every year and he does pay all of that.

OP posts:
pooka · 26/11/2011 23:15

Shit - what a crappy situation.

Thanks in hope you get well soon.

[itching powder] in mr beavers pants.

Esta3GG · 26/11/2011 23:15

Book yourself a trip - right now.
In the morning tell him that you and DD are off and he can go fuck himself - and you'll expect the house to be pristeen when you get back.
The selfish bastard needs a wake up call.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 26/11/2011 23:15

I'd be getting a 9-5 job.

Or an au-pair.

Seriously - is this your life? In 10 years, in 20 years - will this be it? You'll be looking back at this life lived?

You deserve so much more.

Don't waste your life with someone who doesn't give a shit about you.

pictish · 26/11/2011 23:16

Fuck me! Why are you still with this guy?
Genuine ask??

petitfiloser · 26/11/2011 23:16

twat!!

squeakytoy · 26/11/2011 23:16

Not much of a partnership or marriage is it Viva :(

You would be better off without him. I hate saying that to people, but I am struggling to see any positives in this man from what you have posted.

LoopyLoopsRootyFroots · 26/11/2011 23:16
Shock

This isn't 1955. You don't have to live like this. BOF has it right.

Esta3GG · 26/11/2011 23:16

He won't pay for his own DD to go on holiday?!! But he fucks off on 2 holidays by himself?!
What kind of SHIT is this man?

Liluri · 26/11/2011 23:17

If my DH even dared to consider booking a holiday whilst I was in hospital then you can be damn sure it would be a one-way ticket.

And, oh my god, I can't bear adults who sulk and give the silent treatment. Passive aggression is such a despicable trait in grown up humans, particularly men.

It's your turn on the holiday booking front.

BelleDameSansMerci · 26/11/2011 23:17

What the actual fuck? What a horrible, selfish pig of a man.

pooka · 26/11/2011 23:19

So he's financially abusive as well as emotionally twattish.

I have no advice - apart from that you concentrate on getting better yourself and your dd while pondering how you might be able to minimise te negative impact he is having on your happiness and wellbeing.

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 26/11/2011 23:19

horrible horrible selfish man. Be strong and DEMAND total parity in spends. If he won't agree to this, bite the bullet and accept you've married someone who doesn't have your happiness at the forefront of your mind. Get rid and move on. Am angry on your behalf.

squeakytoy · 26/11/2011 23:19

I dont understand men who think it is ok to saunter off on their own "boys jollies", and their kids and wives get no holiday.

Dont get me wrong, I have mini breaks of a few days with my mates a couple of times a year, but it is as well as going away with my husband, and if I had to choose between the two, I would put going away with husband as the priority.

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