To be annoyed with this waitress?

[ImaginaryGiraffeIsMyBestFriend]

Went into a cafe today with my Sister, 1yo niece and 2 friends. We each ordered a drink and one of my friends was deciding what to eat for lunch before work when a waitress came over and told us we had to take my niece out of the high chair we were using and sit her on my knee and feed her there because another child (who was quite a bit older than my niece) needed the use of the high chair. When I refused she then said that because we'd brought our own food in for my niece we were less of a priority for high chair usage than the other child because they were ordering food for her off the kids menu (all of which was processed, salt laden food as opposed to our home made stuff). When I complained I was told that it was 'against their policy' to allow people to eat food brought in from outside, regardless of age, and that they were making an exception for us as it was. We walked out with all of our drinks completely untouched and went to a cafe across the road, where we had no problems feeding her the food we had brought.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous rule? We've never had any problems feeding her home made food anywhere else and usually do order off a kids menu for her if the food is suitable (DN is extremely picky and won't eat things like fish fingers or chicken nuggets, which is about all thats available on a kids menu in lots of places).

YABU

i just hope you weren't too rude to the poor waitress.

No restaurant is going to kick out 4 adults who it thinks will order food. I suspect if you had been there 25 minutes without actually ordering they thought you were taking the piss and hogging a table they could sell on.

This has got nothing directly to do with the baby. The waitress was being rude because they were trying to get shot of you, the chair was their gambit. It clearly worked.

Next time I suggest ordering food earlier.

We weren't rude to the waitress, I questioned her when she said we had to give up the high chair and again when she started going on about the food we'd brought in for DN and then left. I work in customer services myself and try not to take my frustration out on staff when I know they don't actually make the rules (which is sometimes quite hard) - I was very annoyed with the way she approached the situation but bit my tongue as much as I could.

I have just read back over my posts and still don't understand the confusion, that could just be because I wrote them though.

Some of you agree with me and some of you don't. I'm not looking for everyone to rally round and join me in a boycott, I just wanted opinions and I got them.

Arf!

I bet you were thinking "That'll show them" when you flounced and left your drinks.

The waitress was probably thinking "Thank God for that"

I think there was unreasonableness on both sides tbh.
Firstly OP, unless it is explicitly stated I would always assume that you are not allowed to take your own food into cafes/restaurants. Even for babies. I would take food out for mine when they were little and they would eat it at the park, in their pushchair etc but I wouldn't have fed them it somewhere that sells food. So on that, imo, ywbu.
I also agree with what others have said in that if your niece is a fussy eater it's probably a good idea to let her try some of her mums food if she is distracted by/interested in it. Even if she doesn't like it at first. She isn't going to increase the range of foods she eats if she is always offered the same failsafe foods you know she likes.
Having said all that I do think the cafe wbu to ask for your highchair for another customer. It is shoddy practice to start making your customers play musical chairs when they are settled and eating. If they are in danger of losing business because they don't have enough highchairs then they need to invest in some more imo. If I was in a cafe and not eating I would think it was a poor show if I had to give up my seat for a customer who was because they didn't have enough chairs to go round!

one year old is fine to be eating a pack up still. it's a waste to buy a meal for such a young kid and yes you arrived first - so you ge the seat.

YANBU

How can a 1 year old baby eat from a child's menu? Babies are exempt from the usual rules about bringing your own food in! It's standard to bring separate food for them at that age.

yabu

I know very few (if any) babies who by the age of 1 aren't capable of eating "proper" food be that some bit of mums plate or there own meal.

YANBU, I can't imagine a waitress evicting a 1 yo from a highchair because they were eating their own food, surely most babies bring their own food to restaurants? I've only just recently tried ordering from the kids menu for my DS, he's 21 months old, and it was a waste, the portion size was way too big for him.

I would not be feeding a 1 year old restaurant food. If I did, it would be vegetable soup, or side order of mashed potatoes/veggies type of thing. I always brought baby food if we went to a restaurant. I think that is perfectly acceptable in a lunch time cafe such as you were in. Then again, I didn't take babies into restaurants often, and would let them sit in the stroller/pushchair if we did.
The waitress was rude to ask you to take the baby out of the high chair. They should have had booster seats, although my 2 year olds still ate in highchairs. But I can see a small place only have one high chair.
I would have left as well I think, after paying for the drinks. Bad customer service in my opinion.

I wouldn't buy a childs meal for a 1 yr old but I would ask the staff if we could maybe order an extra side dish and have a plate for the baby to let them try a little of what everyone was having. If the baby's mum was so intent on the baby eating alone and before everyone else I can't see why they didn't just let the baby eat before they went in? I think the cafe would have been well within their rights to tell the op that they don't allow people to bring in their own food but considering they had decided to let that rule slide I think it was bad form to try and get the highchair back for a more lucrative customer. It may make business sense in the short term but I would question how much return custom they will be getting if that's how they treat their customers.

If I were ordering something for my baby/toddler, it would be something really small like bags of fruit, or ask for an extra plate so that dd can share some of my food. There is noway that I would order off kids menus at that age, as someone has pointed out portions are too big and it would be money down the drain.

YANBU!!! first come first served regardless of the fact that you brought in your own DC's food.

Why should you go somewhere that serves what your daughter would eat. I would of never of went out then as my daughter only would eat what I cooked and hated jar food, chips, fish fingers, burgers oh and cheap salt ridden sausages.

No it was not the waitresses fault if that was restaurant policy but you did the best thing going else where

catch a grip people.

YABU

and I know the waitrose would have took the piss after you left

Or the waitress

Frig off, troll.

this thread has royally pissed me off cos I worked in a cafe and would get annoyed at people bringing food for their kids. They would bring fruit, apple juice, crackers. We sold fruit, apple juice, crackers. I wanted to scream when they said "oh it's far too expensive to buy it here." SO EAT AT HOME FFS. why think yr entitled to take up premium space in a
Busy cafe yet only buying one coffee? ridiculous. If you have an issue with the available food, don't go. Stay at home or go elsewhere

someday I totally get what you mean. some of the cafes are so family friendly now, people think they are just meeting places for them to consume their brought-in supplies and not businesses that should make a living

I'm surprised. I've taken both of my kids to the cafe since they were babies and we've never had a problem. When they were very young they would eat food brought from home then perhaps share a plate with me later on.

Now I have a teen who would also eat the table given a chance and a 7 year old fussy eater who only likes that particular cafe. If they had been arsy about a highchair we wouldn't still be eating there 14 years on.

Creature of habit me, if it aint broke dont fix it!

I cant see any sense in your dn eating all by herself before everyone else! Surely her showing an interest in what everyone else is eating is a good thing and should be encouraged if she is currently a fussy eater.
I think the waitress was rude in how she approached you but I also think you werent being reasonable with not having even ordered after awhile. What if it took dn 2 hrs to finish her food, would you have all just sat there waiting?

Just don't go back there- it may be they are just hacked off with low spending mums and babies coming in and I guess when aplace is busy you can appreciate their point of view- they possibly assumed you were just doing drinks perhaps.
I would have been quicker to order food as I am conscious that it is extra work for waitresses to clear up after babies and kids who add little spend to a bill.
I worked in a restaurant whilst at college- no one wanted the tables with babies( except me as I felt sorry for them) as they were such a horrid mess to clear up after and as I said often lower spends.Rarely did a parent make an attempt to clear their smeared food and broken food on the floor after they sashayed out-I was sympathetic as I realised mums are often flustered with babies but other staff tried to avoid seating them in their section-too much hassle.That is the truth-cafes are businesses.
I am not surprised you feel annoyed and I would be too but just avoid the place and order quickly when you hit a cafe at rush hour- they know families often take longer to eat as well. I totally support families eating out in cafes etc but I think it helps to be sensitive to how any business will respond to you taking up a table and getting drinks at lunch time- some place refuse just drinks tables at this time full stop.

YANBU. A one year old is a baby. Of course you can take your own food for her. You did the correct thing by walking out of the cafe. The matter was handled very badly by the waitress, maybe through youth or naivety.

Cherysoda. That's awful, I always get down on the floor and make sure I pick up any bits of food, clean the highchair/table etc and generally make sure the area is in the same condition as we arrive.

I have never understood why people think its acceptable to leave mess everywhere for someone else to clean up.

I don't get all this vitriol against mums who supposidly sit in a cafe for 3 hours nursing a single coffee, that is impossible when you have a young fractious child, for me it was impossible to do this both when dd was a baby and when she was a toddler, and still at 4.5 years we could not do this, so I am a bit about that, sounds very exaggerated tbh. I can think of many other adults that do this, bring their paper or laptop in and sit there for hours with one coffee. What about them?

As dd was a fussy eater I would bring in her main meal from home, into a cafe/restaurant whilst eating the food there myself. I would also get her some fruit or something to nibble on, or she would share my food, would get something with chips so that she could nibble on a chip. I would not pay good money to get my baby/toddler, food from outside when it will end up in the bin not eaten!