To be annoyed with this waitress?

[ImaginaryGiraffeIsMyBestFriend]

Went into a cafe today with my Sister, 1yo niece and 2 friends. We each ordered a drink and one of my friends was deciding what to eat for lunch before work when a waitress came over and told us we had to take my niece out of the high chair we were using and sit her on my knee and feed her there because another child (who was quite a bit older than my niece) needed the use of the high chair. When I refused she then said that because we'd brought our own food in for my niece we were less of a priority for high chair usage than the other child because they were ordering food for her off the kids menu (all of which was processed, salt laden food as opposed to our home made stuff). When I complained I was told that it was 'against their policy' to allow people to eat food brought in from outside, regardless of age, and that they were making an exception for us as it was. We walked out with all of our drinks completely untouched and went to a cafe across the road, where we had no problems feeding her the food we had brought.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous rule? We've never had any problems feeding her home made food anywhere else and usually do order off a kids menu for her if the food is suitable (DN is extremely picky and won't eat things like fish fingers or chicken nuggets, which is about all thats available on a kids menu in lots of places).

It's not the same at all Sirzy. Most normal, sane people do not expect 1 year old babies to eat off a children's menu.
I have entered the MN parallel universe of weirdness again.

YANBU! I can't believe the number of YABUs you've had! It's not as if you were using the highchair as non-paying customers and at 1 year old you are surely entitled to feed your child something you prepared / brought yourself.

I don't get watching her eat though, that is odd. Dd had a right mixture today, some chicken ceasar, some hoi sin duck, ham hock, a bit of scallop...all sorts. Half blatantly stolen off our plates, the other half given to her! She also had some back up brought from home (as a distraction as much as anything in case she gets bored).

I'm amazed so many people think Yabu. She is 1!!

Your child being 1 year old, not you, natch...

I'm amazed at all the YABUs too. It was shoddy customer service on the restaurant's part. They sound unhelpful and unwelcoming. They don't deserve your business. YANBU.

It's always been a nice place for us to eat - nice atmosphere, friendly staff etc. and we've never had any problems with food or service before.

I am quite shocked that a lot of you would pay close to £5 for a meal for a one year old every time you eat out, it seems very excessive to me.

It is very rude for anyone to ask for a young child to give up a highchair. In fact, it's vindictive and nasty.

I would have simply refused her request, and said that after DN finished eating, I would be happy to hand over the chair so that the other child could use it by the time the food arrived.

If they had a problem with you feeding her non-cafe food, they should have said that in a diplomatic way, not tried to nick a chair off a 1-year-old baby.

And it is very unreasonable to expect a 1-year-old to eat off the child's menu. They might want to, but they might not.

£5? I think that's expensive.

We went to our local Beefeater with DD. They do children's starters for £1, (which we ordered for DD to pick at) and 'younger guest' main meals are £1.50

YANBU. Presumably they don't tell one member of other tables to give up their chair if they deem they are not ordering enough, even in the context of the entire table bill. Give them an honest review on Google and wherever else you can find online so that families with babies know not to frequent and presumably the cafe will be happy with that too since they're not keen to host families with babies so you'll be doing them a favour.

Google maps I mean to say

Maybe she'd be less fussy if you ate with her at the same time? It normalises the whole eating process, don't you think?

....aaaaanywaay, what I'd popped on to say is that my lovely local caff will let you bring food in for under-threes if you pay a £1 'forkage' charge. Fairenuff, I reckon.

It all sounds very difficult - they didn't have enough high chairs and had the choice between adults eating but using the high chair to feed a baby, or adults eating plus providing a high chair for a toddler's paid meal. As a cafe I would probably have left you with the high chair because you were there first, and it's not really unreasonable to feed own food to a baby.
But all they asked was that she sit on her Mum's knee, which isn't that unreasonable, either.
Point them in the direction of the cheap antelop high chairs!

I have never paid £5 for a kids meal and never would! As said earlier pick places that cater for you all not just the adults!

Newshooz - most "childrens menu" dishes wherever we go cost £3.50 - £4.50 and are a massive portion for a 1 year old. My DD has a hearty appetite and is a good eater but when out in restaurants (we eat out a lot) she couldn't hope to finish the meals, they are far too large. Furthermore you're never quite sure whether they will suddenly decide that they don't want the spaghetti bolognese they normally eat. If the OP's sister wanted to order food for herself maybe she thought that she would be too full to eat an almost entire child's meal as well just for the sake of being allowed to use a highchair.

It's a shame more cafes/restaurants don't offer toddler sized meals for a couple of quid.

Did they only have one high chair or something?!

I think most don't because it is the norm for parents to cater for very small children tbh.

I was a waitress for ages and it would NEVER have occurred to me to demand a customer take their child out of a highchair they were using, or make negative remarks about them bringing baby food with them. One year old is tiny! Most places don't really do food fit for babies - children yes - so of course you would bring your own.

Sounds crazy. Just avoid in future I guess, what a shame.

Somewhere upthread the OP said they usually have 2 highchairs and a booster. So if there were only 2 children between 3 chairs I can't really understand what the issue was anyway. Maybe I have got that round my neck

I'm interested to know what some of the posters on here would do if they went into a cafe that was full, wanting lunch. Would you ask them to move on the adults that weren't spending enough or had nearly finished their drinks ?

If it is a cafe surely some people would just go in for drinks anyway?

That confused me too - the family who came in and apparently needed the high chair were sat opposite us - they had a 2yo and had not actually spoken to the waitress when she came over and demanded we gave up the high chair. They had sat down, taken off coats and picked up menus - for all we or the waitress knew they didn't need/want the high chair!

OP YANBU a 1yo is still a baby and it is not at all precious for her to not be eating off the childs menu yet. FFS shes probably only just properly got weaning established. My DD is 16 months and it would be a total waste of time ordering form the kids menu, she normally just gets a bit of whatever I'm having.

So in actual fact she didn't know at that point whether the 2 year old was going to eat, or indeed whether any of them were going to eat !

Sounds bonkers to me - when mine were that age I always brought food out for them. As you say, you want to avoid too much salt etc. Waitress was being rude and I would have asked to speak to her manager....