To be annoyed with this waitress?

[ImaginaryGiraffeIsMyBestFriend]

Went into a cafe today with my Sister, 1yo niece and 2 friends. We each ordered a drink and one of my friends was deciding what to eat for lunch before work when a waitress came over and told us we had to take my niece out of the high chair we were using and sit her on my knee and feed her there because another child (who was quite a bit older than my niece) needed the use of the high chair. When I refused she then said that because we'd brought our own food in for my niece we were less of a priority for high chair usage than the other child because they were ordering food for her off the kids menu (all of which was processed, salt laden food as opposed to our home made stuff). When I complained I was told that it was 'against their policy' to allow people to eat food brought in from outside, regardless of age, and that they were making an exception for us as it was. We walked out with all of our drinks completely untouched and went to a cafe across the road, where we had no problems feeding her the food we had brought.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous rule? We've never had any problems feeding her home made food anywhere else and usually do order off a kids menu for her if the food is suitable (DN is extremely picky and won't eat things like fish fingers or chicken nuggets, which is about all thats available on a kids menu in lots of places).

YAB so very U it's hard to put it into words! Firstly - @ all the show offs here about what their kids do, will or might consider eating! Do you realise how pathetically stealthy boasty you sound? No. Thought not!

Secondly , and this to the OP - how about YOU open a cafe or restaurant or whatever and see how sharp your opinions change when you realise just exactly where your takings are coming from. Businesses are not charities and given what you think of their 'salt laden' fare I'd have chucked you all the hell out before you even sat down! And then got on with the business of serving and taking money from real customers!

think the cafe should invest in a couple more high-chairs, treat your customers well and they come back and that in the end is the way to get a business running well

Remind me never to eat at your establishment, Menopause.

drip drip drip.

Er, menopausal it rather backfired, did it not ? They didn't spend any money.
I've worked in hospitality a very long time and I can assure you that your takings do not come from pissing off customers and making them leave without ordering anything. The "mummy market" is an extremely lucrative one that most hospitality businesses are keen to attract and therefore make considerable efforts to keep them happy. Sounds to me like you've never run a food business

That should be easy enough delia - I don't have one. But if I did I would do every possible to maximise profitability. So you go ahead and run a free drop in centre if you wish but I'd prefer to know the difference between that and a business.

Yes, we could tell you don't work in a customer service environment, menopausal. Just as well eh, you'd get lots of repeat customers with that attitude

and you clearly have absolutely no idea at all about what makes a service business sucessful.

Well you'd be wrong Nigel. Very wrong. The so called 'mummy market' is, as you should know, not at all lucrative! Unless you think filling your establishment with extra large buggies whilst four parents take five hours over 2 coffees whilst feeding a home made picnic to a gaggle of small children makes sound business sense? Maybe you do? Your perfect right to run your business like that - forgive me if I don't!

Mummy market is lucrative? News to me as I observe crowds of mums nursing a coffee and feeding their "organic homemade" goo for 2.5 hrs. And putting away other customers with their pfb screaming and buggy barricades.

I think one of the premises of running a good business is good customer service. This was shoddy. High chairs can be picked up for next to nothing in Ikea. The restaurant should have more. Even if they were just going in for a coffee, if the baby was more comfy in a high chair they could have provided it. With a smile. Crikey what a miserable, mean spirited lot there is on here this evening.

x-posted Haze

I do love it when someone 'gets' the point. Thank you bemybebe - that was the point I was making and it seems it is maybe not such a alien concept after all!

The Mummy of the 2yo who was ordering and paying for a meal for her child should take precedence over a 1yo who isnt even eating food that the cafe has provided. To me, it is as simple as that.

YABVU, that highchair is for children eating food in that establishment. You could have sat her easily on your lap or in her buggy and fed her there. YANBU to bring food in for your niece, she is only 1 and a baby so will not eat a full plate off food even if it is off the kids menu, at best I would have fed her some of mine. I would not waste money buying food for a baby that will not eat much.

Sorry, but I think YABU. My husband runs a cafe so I can assure you, this is a difficult issue to navigate without upsetting anyone. Ideally they want to be welcoming to everyone as possible but it puts a waitress or indeed the proprietor in a very awkward position in that it is a business that needs to make some money somehow. It does get frustrating that people are constantly taking the piss with bringing in packed lunches and the like, indeed veritable picnics in some cases, for their kids while ordering a £2 coffee and sitting for two hours. The server then has to still has to clean up and at times the mess is unbelievable. For food that the cafe hasn't sold. Honestly? These customers don't tend to be worth it in terms of big picture cost versus benefit to the business- I know that sounds harsh, but that is the reality. I'm speaking from experience and telling you the mummy market for cafe taking is simply not lucrative whatsoever.

In any event, I don't think the issue here was so much that the little one was eating food you brought in but that she was taking a seat that a paying customer needed to use. In fact the customer in question was a child, so hard to see how the establishment was not child friendly. You could have sat her on your knee, which really is not unreasonable under the circumstances.

Yabu - the cafe was allowing you to bring your own food in which was good of them really but why couldn't the baby have sat on someones knee or in a buggy? Would it really have been such a big deal for you?

I think anyone expecting use of a highchair is being a bit u thought tbh, even the person with the older child. My DC learned to sit at the table from a young age - my 2 year old sits at the table for all meals with no highchair. Before that I would either take a foldaway booster or accept that they may have to sit on an adults knee or in the buggy. If a highchair was available then that was a bonus but I would never take one up if my child wasn't paying for food in the place.

If you want to eat out with kids you have to learn to be a bit more flexible or just eat at home util they are ready to sit at the table.

In all honesty OP I think you made a huge mountain out of a molehill over this. Sorry but the cafe owner was probably not diappointed that you left!

OP Have you any idea at all of the concept of running a business, not a charity?

TBH if you are running a cafe/restaurant then the "mummy crowd" is far from lucrative.

YABU they need to make money or they close.

When dd was a baby/toddler when I had food in a cafe/restaurant, I would order so that dd could share with me, there was no way I would buy dd who would eat one or two chips a whole meal costing a lot of money when she would leave most of it! If not I would take in stuff that she liked whilst I had my food.

I am more gobsmacked at the idea of going out for lunch then having to wait until a 1yr old finishes her meal

believe me, if the pancakes were that good that child would have to learn that not all adults are that patient.

YABU and so is the waitress. I cannot believe you were all dumb enough to walk out without drinking your drinks... it was rude of the waitress to demand the highchair back, but for that I would not leave a tip. Why not feed niece in buggy or on a knee as suggested? Not exactly worth storming out over...

Has the op answered whether they paid for their drinks before they all flounced?

DD is nearly 16 months old and I sometimes take some food with me for her, but I always feel a bit :-/ when I do, and would never deign to assume it's my unalienable right to forego their food and give mine instead.

Seriously - I can't believe you don't get why this might piss a restaurant or cafe off...?

I do think the waitress was being unnecessarily high-handed, but I suspect your sense of entitlement maybe wound her up a bit.

Also, might be time to start normalising food and eating around your DN before her difficulties get totally ingrained.

I do not think so Doing (as in I did not see the answer).
I guess they didn't. They would have finished the drinks if they had paid for them...