To be annoyed with this waitress?

[ImaginaryGiraffeIsMyBestFriend]

Went into a cafe today with my Sister, 1yo niece and 2 friends. We each ordered a drink and one of my friends was deciding what to eat for lunch before work when a waitress came over and told us we had to take my niece out of the high chair we were using and sit her on my knee and feed her there because another child (who was quite a bit older than my niece) needed the use of the high chair. When I refused she then said that because we'd brought our own food in for my niece we were less of a priority for high chair usage than the other child because they were ordering food for her off the kids menu (all of which was processed, salt laden food as opposed to our home made stuff). When I complained I was told that it was 'against their policy' to allow people to eat food brought in from outside, regardless of age, and that they were making an exception for us as it was. We walked out with all of our drinks completely untouched and went to a cafe across the road, where we had no problems feeding her the food we had brought.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous rule? We've never had any problems feeding her home made food anywhere else and usually do order off a kids menu for her if the food is suitable (DN is extremely picky and won't eat things like fish fingers or chicken nuggets, which is about all thats available on a kids menu in lots of places).

Thats what i thought,so the cafe owner was also down 4 drinks from his takings too.

there was one cafe on our high street that wanted to be more upmarket and more for adults only so put up a notice in the window saying no buggies allowed (actually had more room for buggies that most of the others). It has folded while all the others are at least still hanging on. Maybe chasing away the mums or making them feel unwelcome wasn't such a good business move.

Tell me which establishment it is and I will start a thread( another) on boycotting it...;))
I would actually have given up the chair in those circumstances if another paying baby was present- the parents possibly pointed this out so they had to act on it....never enough high chairs in restaurants.

I don't think this is unreasonable at all. I always take snacks and things for my DD to restaurants to stop her melting down before the food arrives, and 9 times out of 10 she just eats mine rather than having her own separate meal anyway. I have never had the slighted hint of objection, and would be outraged if I did. I am pretty surprised at people's responses - I am right with the OP, NBU at all.

Outraged...?

God...

I am wondering at what point the ops neice will be allowed to eat at the same time as other people? I still fail to understand why you have to finish feeding her before ordering your own food?

Making an issue out of feeding her alone ain't going to help matters!

If who gets the use of high chairs is based on how much money the table would spend then, technically we should have been left with it - there were four adults at our table, each ordering drinks, main meals and desserts plus one child who was not eating. The other table had two adult and one child - that would have been 3 drinks plus 3 meals and maybe 3 desserts. We would have spent more because there was more of us. Plus, the other family hadn't even asked about a high chair, their DD was sat in an ordinary chair and they hadn't even gone to look for a high chair yet because they had only just sat down - the waitress came over and started demanding we give it up before the family had even expressed an interest in it. I work in customer services myself and would never consider one customer was better than another based on how much they were spending because there is no way to know how much each customer will spend over the course of their life.

I don't think my DN's eating habits (or lack thereof) are the issue - we had only been in the cafe 5 - 10 mins when the waitress came over so we hadn't even decided what we were having to eat at this point, regardless of whether DN needed to eat alone first or not.

It is the issue tbough as as far as the waitress was concerned you could have easily been saying "we will have drinks when we feed the baby then decide" and been planning to leave straight after and understandably so as I bet a lot of people take the piss with things in that way.

At the same time she had another family who were eating straight away who needed it for food they brought on the premeisis.

Sirzy it is the only way to make her eat anything. If she spots her mum eating something different she absolutely will not eat what you have given her but then if her mum gives her food off her plate she won't eat that either (unless it is rice or pasta, neither of which are on the menu at the cafe we were in) it is a bit of a faff and very frustrating for my sister but after quite a lot of trial and error it seems to be the only thing that works. She used to eat anything and everything she could get her hands on but was poorly with chicken pox a while ago and has been very difficult ever since.

Even that makes no sense, I am yet to eat anywhere where it takes less than 15 mins for food to arrive so surely that with the 5-10 mins you had been waiting would provide more than long enough to feed a baby?

I wish it took 10 mins to feed her! Se takes forever to eat anything so the tiny tiny bowl of pasta she was having took her about 25 mins to eat. We probably would have been ordering food within the next few mins if the waitress hadn't come over. How long is reasonable to take to decide what your going to eat in a cafe?

so did you pay for the drinks?

YABU

It's one thing to take in snacks to placate a child with whilst waiting for food to arrive, but another to self cater whilst in a cafe. If they don't sell something suitable you eat elsewhere surely?

It just wouldn't occur to me to do this, and I say that as someone who has worked in the hospitality trade.

Yes, we paid for our drinks.

ok, thank you, at least this is clear

I think it's precisely those of us that have worked and do still work in the trade that know how to behave in other establishments MrsPles!

At what age would you say it becomes unreasonable to stop self catering for young children? Most people carry food when eating out for babies who are just starting to wean, so when are they too old to be self catered for?

So you can't see an issue with sitting in a cafe with just drinks for 25 mins while you feed the baby and THEN thinking about what you would order then ordering. In theory you could have easily been sat there for an hour before even eating anything.

Can you not see why that isn't really what a small cafe wants at lunchtime?

Catering for children yourself is fine until they eat well - expecting the cafe to a) stop a child who is paying having a seat so a child who isn't can and b) using the table just to feed the child at a busy period isn't.

We had only been there 10 mins and were planning on ordering within a few mins (some were still deciding what to have) when the waitress came over. We would have ordered within 20 min of being there regardless of what DN was doing - is 20 mins too long to wait before ordering? I've taken longer before with no children with me.

I always take my fussy 15mo food with me when we go out. I'd of been rather unimpressed at being asked for the highchair if I was using it. I try and avoid cafes between 12 and 2, staff are much nicer about you lingering over a coffee if the place is empty.

Not to hijack the thread but has your niece got one of these? Super handy I keep mines in the change bag as there's never enough high chairs.

I can't believe some of the comments here!
YANBU! I wouldn't have fed my 1 year old chicken nuggets! And I wouldn't pay for a child's meal for a baby who will eat a mouthful and that's it!
I kind of thought it was a given that babies had their own food brought for them? Only now dd is 2 and a bit do I order for her and not give her a a mix of home snacks and some of my food.

There really shouldn't be any kind of priority over who gets the high chair, its too complex and open to someones interpretation of whats acceptable and what isn't. First come first served is fairest.

Hell, many proper restaurants take 15 mins to even take your order when you consider drinks orders etc.

The highchair thing was an excuse, they just didn't want you feeding your child there. Personally (and I speak as someone who once worked in a silver service establishment that wouldn't have batted an eye at someone feeding a baby something from home) I think they had lost sight of something quite fundamental...they lost 4 adult eaters for the sake of the price of a kid's meal. Shoddy hospitality and business sense to be honest.

OP, I'm now a bit confused. You said that DN took 25 minutes to eat a tiny bowl of pasta but then you say you had only been there 10 minutes?

OP - what do you want people to say? You clearly don't think you were being unreasonable in the slightest.

I think you were taking the piss. Using a highchair for - at least what looked to the waitress - an indeterminable amount of time to feed your baby food you had brought in with you. While you all sat on and watched. At lunchtime, one of their busiest times of the day.