To be annoyed with this waitress?

[ImaginaryGiraffeIsMyBestFriend]

Went into a cafe today with my Sister, 1yo niece and 2 friends. We each ordered a drink and one of my friends was deciding what to eat for lunch before work when a waitress came over and told us we had to take my niece out of the high chair we were using and sit her on my knee and feed her there because another child (who was quite a bit older than my niece) needed the use of the high chair. When I refused she then said that because we'd brought our own food in for my niece we were less of a priority for high chair usage than the other child because they were ordering food for her off the kids menu (all of which was processed, salt laden food as opposed to our home made stuff). When I complained I was told that it was 'against their policy' to allow people to eat food brought in from outside, regardless of age, and that they were making an exception for us as it was. We walked out with all of our drinks completely untouched and went to a cafe across the road, where we had no problems feeding her the food we had brought.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous rule? We've never had any problems feeding her home made food anywhere else and usually do order off a kids menu for her if the food is suitable (DN is extremely picky and won't eat things like fish fingers or chicken nuggets, which is about all thats available on a kids menu in lots of places).

My group of friends with DC same age and I have eaten out every week since DC were 6 weeks old. When they could sit in high chairs, they did, eating or not, when they started to eat, they ate home cooked food. Now they are all 2 they eat off the menu but a couple of our group only started doing that a month ago. No restaurant/cafe/pub has ever complained about bringing in ffod or highchair usage.

I think that's a very good excuse. Ds is 2 but has only just started being able to sit on a seat to eat rather than a highchair. Being able to sit there at the start is different from being able to stay there when eating!

and the other group were already sat at a table - so the OP and her friends weren't taking up space needed for higher spend customers.

Do all the posters on here gulp down coffee in Caffe Nero/starbucks/wherever if it's busy to free up a table for more business ? Thought not.

Why go in there to eat if it's just salt laden rubbish?

I think YANBU. At that age I was ordering a plate full of food for myself and sharing with the baby, infact I still do with DD and she's almost 2. I wouldnt of expected the cafe/restaurant to take the highchair away from me just because they had someone in who was ordering from the child's menu and I almost always had a bag of rice cakes to keep her quiet until the food came.

YABU as well as sounding condescending and precious.

Why should anyone be able to take their own food in to a place that sells food. If you dont like the food, then dont go there, or at the very least have the manners to feed your child its special home made stuff before or after you go in.

We have ordered off the kids menu (for a different child) before and, trust me, salt laden is an understatement - they put salt ON the food, even if you ask them not to (should have made that more clear in OP)

We were eating (we usually wait till after DN has finished, like I said earlier the less distraction for her when she's eating the better) but one of my friends was going to work do was ordering straight away do that she could leave sooner - we had explained this to the waitress when we ordered our drinks.

Even when DD was starting on solids, it wouldn't have occurred to me to take something into a cafe or restaurant for her to eat - I'd expect to have bought her something from the menu. If there was nothing suitable on the menu, we'd have gone elsewhere.

I don't take a homemade meal out with me, just in case there happens to be nothing on the menu that I would eat in a particular place.

If you weren't purchasing anything for the 1yo, then I don't think the waitress WBU to ask you to give the highchair to someone who was buying something for their child to eat. What was wrong with leaving her in the buggy?

Well if its so shit there why do you go back?

At the end of the day they are the losers out of this - because they've lost 4 adult lunches + drinks just for the sake of 1 child's meal (when it seems that his family wasn't bothered anyway). And you probably won't go back and will also mention it to all your friends with children who probably won't go either.

Sometimes it astonishes me that people don't think "what can I stand to lose by imposing this rule ?"

So you know the place isn't suitable for your neice yet you all go there just because you all like it?

Sometimes you have to adapt what you do when you have cjhildren with you. I rarely go to some places I like as the food isn't suitable for Ds.

What does your precious neice eat, then?

The food from the proper menu is excellent but the kids menu is a major let down.

Out of curiosity, what would you suggest to parents who make up meals and purée them for their kids instead of giving them jars?

There is a big differnence between a baby needing purees and a baby who is on solids and could eat normal food but the parents think its fine to take there own.

Hmmm it's a tricky one. In your case I don't think yabu. One is very little so I think it's ok to bring your own food in for her. However the waitress isn't responsible for the cafe's policy and she might have been put in an awkward position by her manager/other customers, I doubt she would have come over to embarrass you of her own accord out of spite. It's also difficult in food establishments because they are a business that needs to make money and it can be a massive problem to have tables with lots of kids, all eating their own food and the parents just having a coffee, staying for hours when the table could have been sat 3 times with people having drinks and food. I can see why they'd feel like they have to implement a blanket policy. Could it be that they people waiting for the high chair are regular to the cafe, knew the policy and were a bit irked to see your niece with her own food while they weren't allowed? It might have been different if your friend ordered food at the same time as the drinks instead of deciding over coffee. I think it's a bit of an overreaction to abandon the drinks presumably not paid for, they didn't actually stop you from feeding the baby, only from using the facilities provided for customers who have paid to use them. The waitress still has to clean up the mess the baby has left even though you didn't pay for the stuff that made the mess. I think that if you didn't like it you shouldn't have wasted the drinks, but just not gone back again.

Flisspaps, maybe the OPs sister doesn't like leaving her daughter in the buggy ? I hate seeing children being fed in buggies and maybe they feel the same.

DH and I recently went out for lunch with some friends and their 6 month old daughter. There was another two little boys with a party also in the room, neither of whom were eating, using the two highchairs. We were purchased food for DD but were told the highchairs were already in use (dd is 19 months). She had to sit on a cushion on a chair but it was a bit of a struggle to keep her seated. As far as I'm concerned, things like highchairs are first come, first served.

Harry just about all she will eat is pasta, rice, banana, organix snacks, tomato, cucumber, chocolate and fruit pouches

Op i dont think people have any problem with you bringing your own food for your dn,just insisting on keeping the high chair when she could have eaten it quite happily in her buggy or on one of your knees.

Surely you can see a person who has paid for a meal from the cafe deserves the high chair more?

What would I suggest? Either order something from the adult menu you can share with the child or forego puree altogether, it can be done

Some establishments will happily make up a child sized portion of something from the adult menu if you ask.

And you havent answered whether you paid for your drinks before you all flounced

She would probably eat something off the kids menu if anyone gave her a chance. A small amount of salt will not do any harm!

If the other adults aren't eating then that makes her sitting on one persons knee while someone else feeds even easier.

So should someone sitting at a decent table eating only a sandwich be asked to move to one next to the loos for someone spending more to sit in, doingthebest ? Where do you end your argument ?

I still reckon the baby is a red herring, an excuse.

the real problem that annoyed the cafe was that it was lunchtime, there were four of you adults sitting there, and only one of you ordering any food ...

YANBU - your neice was in the highchair and she shouldn't have been expected to get out of it. You had placed an order, even if it was only drinks at that point, and you had a child who was already eating. You were paying customers, only the waitress decided to prioritise someone who had placed a higher value order, which is not fair.

The quality of their food isn't the issue, but the way they treat their customers clearly is. You can't turf someone out of their seat just because some who bought a more expensive order demands it. On that logic eating there must be like playing musical chairs!

Just for the future, you don't have to eat off the kid's menu, you could ask for a smaller version of an adult meal e.g. a sandwich with one piece of bread. Have yet to find somewhere that won't do this. One place didn't want to do half a jacket potato, which I understood but would halve other choices.

I personally think 1 is pushing it for taking your own food, up to one is ok.

I would have thought they were cheeky for taking the highchair but would have moved DD to pushchair.