To be annoyed with this waitress?

[ImaginaryGiraffeIsMyBestFriend]

Went into a cafe today with my Sister, 1yo niece and 2 friends. We each ordered a drink and one of my friends was deciding what to eat for lunch before work when a waitress came over and told us we had to take my niece out of the high chair we were using and sit her on my knee and feed her there because another child (who was quite a bit older than my niece) needed the use of the high chair. When I refused she then said that because we'd brought our own food in for my niece we were less of a priority for high chair usage than the other child because they were ordering food for her off the kids menu (all of which was processed, salt laden food as opposed to our home made stuff). When I complained I was told that it was 'against their policy' to allow people to eat food brought in from outside, regardless of age, and that they were making an exception for us as it was. We walked out with all of our drinks completely untouched and went to a cafe across the road, where we had no problems feeding her the food we had brought.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous rule? We've never had any problems feeding her home made food anywhere else and usually do order off a kids menu for her if the food is suitable (DN is extremely picky and won't eat things like fish fingers or chicken nuggets, which is about all thats available on a kids menu in lots of places).

If I am going somewhere I know well and trust I will happily order for dd, something reliable like macaroni cheese or similar, but will always take snacks as back up and distraction!

Graciescotland she doesn't have one, but I'm thinking i might get one for my sister to use. Thanks for the link.

God, is this still going on? Op, your latest post states that there were four adults at your table, all ordering main meals and desserts. But there weren't, we're there? You made clear in your first post that you hadn't ordered anything, and had no intention of doing so until the baby had finished eating food you hadn't even purchased on the premises. You then claim the baby would take 25 minutes to finish, how long would you actually expect the cafe staff to wait to find out if they were going to make any money from your visit at all? hmm]. If I'd been the owner, I wouldn't have waited for an excuse to present itself, I'd have asked you to leave.

You had asked the waitress to wait til you neice had finished eating (your words from earlier) so therefore you were planning on sitting there for at least 25 mins at a busy lunchtime with just drinks before ordering anything. Again surely you can see why they wouldn't be keen on this?

Surely if the baby is such a fussier eater feeding her at home before the rest of you go out would make more sense then just giving her bits of your food to play with while you all eat?

We had been there 10 mins when the waitress came over - it took DN about 25 mins total to eat her pasta.

I honestly just wanted people's opinion on the matter. I've always thought it would be a given than children under 2 would have their own food, we always took food with us for my nephew till he was about 19 months and had no problems.

Honestly, it's not a drop-in centre or a toddler group. It's a cafe.

You realise that, right?!

It's not just about taking in your own food though, is it?

It's about all the periphery nonsense going on as well - feeding your niece for ages whilst not ordering your own food, taking up space at a busy time of day etc, etc...

Hmmm restaurant high chairs are bacteria laden yukky things abd best avoided. You're better off without one.

See i just dont follow this,in your first post it sounds like only one of the party was looking at the menu to order food,then when questioned about this you changed your story & said all 4 of you were going to order after your dn had been fed her home made food as opposed to salt laden junk.

I really dont have a problem with you wanting to feed your dn your own food as i am sure most others on here dont what a lot of people are saying you are UR about it your indignance at being asked for the high chair back.

The way i see it is,your dn was being fed a good 20 mins before you were going to order so why couldnt one of you sat her on your knee & fed her that way?

I do also agree with the posters who have said maybe you shouldn't pander to dn eating habits by not all eating at the same time.

Anyway we seem to be going round in circles,you asked if YWBU,some have said yes some have said no & you only want to listen to the ones who agree with you so why did you ask in the first place?

wanders away as lost interest now

Well worth it ime. I was a bit when DH brought it home but we've used loads.

eh? wrong thread?

Obviously I haven't been very clear.

We went into the cafe, sat down, gave DN her food and I went up to the till to order drinks. I told the waitress we would be ordering food too, but weren't ready to order cos we were busy with DN. I went back to my seat and we were looking through the menu. All but one of us had decided what to order when the waitress came over - we assumed she had noticed we had almost finished looking at the menus and had come to take our order when she told us to give her the high chair so another child could use it. When we questioned her as to why we couldn't continue using it she started ranting about the food that DN was eating - which she had already seen us give her and said nothing about. We left a few mins later.

see your contradicting yourself again as before you said that the waitress only gave you 5-10 mins before she came to take your order.

I am losing track of the different versions of events you are telling us all now!

No you haven't been clear - each time you re-tell the story it's different.

Suffice to say, you were clearly in there long enough not ordering snd feeding DN her own food for them to be pissed off.

But anyway - you don't think you did anything wrong, so end of thread, surely.

I'm still completely muddled about the timescales. But no matter.

OP, you did ask for opinions so what some people are trying to tell you- particularly those of us who are trying to scrabble a living from running a cafe in a very tough economy- it is not a given that children under 2 always have their own food from home when they go out.

Some places may be easily be able or willing to accommodate you with self catering. Others will have a blanket policy against it. And still others will try to perform a very complicated balancing act of keeping various customers happy while trying to stay in business. In this case, all you had to do (having had the use of it for some time already from the sounds of it) was give up a highchair upon request and finish feeding DN on your knee so that another child could have the use of it to eat cafe food they were paying for. You weren't being asked to stop feeding DN altogether or leave the premises.

If it was an issue, she shouldn't have given you the high chair in the first place. I understand their point of view which is not unresasonable but I do think she went about it the wrong way. Don't take it personally, I have also been unwelcome in a restaurant because I have a baby in a stroller. There are plenty of other places that'll want your business.

I don't particularly think time scales matter - we're not talking hours here. The point is we were paying customers who were using a high chair provided to us by the waitress who then came to us and very abruptly took it away again. Thanks for all of your opinions on the matter.

Of course the time scale matters. 5 mins and 25 mins are very different especially when it comes to sitting on a table in a cafe!!

Of course you don't think timescales matter - that's the whole problem. Hilarious!

I don't particularly think time scales matter - we're not talking hours here. The point is we were paying customers

Sounds to me more that you were having a baby picnic and eventually ordered summat like a coke and 5 straws to justify being in the Caff and they lost patience

they put salt ON the food, even if you ask them not to

Really?? So you order a chip butty and they put salt on it? Or a shepherds pie and then they put salt on after they've cooked it? Ok.

We were only actually in the place about 15 mins total - we had been there 10 when the waitress came over and asked us for the high chair. We then left, hot footed it over the road and DN finished eating there, her total eating time was about 25 mins. I've explained this so many ways I don't know how else to tell you. The reason I don't think the time scale matters is because it wasn't the issue at the time. We were paying for food and so was the other family, I think that the fact we were there first should mean we could use the high chair that DN was already sitting in when the other family arrived. My main complaint was that the waitress was rude enough to come over to our table and demand we give up the high chair to a family who hadn't even asked for one - she was jumping the gun and being rude. I appreciate some people might not think she was being rude and that people differ in their opinions as to how my sister handles her fussy baby and that people feel differently than I do about whether it's appropriate for a one year old to not eat from the menu in a cafe. I asked for your opinions and I got them.

It is not unreasonable to take your own food for the 1 year old

Yanbu!

Read your posts back and you will quickly see why people are getting confused, every post has a different version of events. It reads almost as if you are trying to rewrite history to get people to agree with you!