to be obsessing about a third child?

[boyfallingoutofthesky]

I have two perfect children, boy and girl, aged 3 and 1 and have just gone back to work after maternity leave which, contrary to expectation I am quite enjoying. However I have found myself becoming ridiculously broody (have never been a broody person before!) to the point where I am already plotting when I can next get pregnant even though my partner (pragmatic person) is being pretty firm that he only wants two and does not think we could afford three (we could but not if we send them to private school which he wants to do - an entire other thread!)

I think fundamentally a part of me is very sad about the prospect of never being pregnant again, and in addition I have always thought 3 children would be nice so feel a bit incomplete then feel guilty as I should just be happy with what we have. My question is are these feelings normal? If I had a third would I want a 4th?? I am 34 so probably have some time, but I guess every pregnancy has a risk and we should just be content to have 2 healthy children and not push our luck. Has anyone else had a similar experience and did it lead to another little bundle or did the feelings eventually go away?

Hi There, I have one Daughter aged 14 and was desperate for a second, sadly all attempts failed, we went down the adoption route and then hubbie decided it wasn't for him. We stopped 'trying' three years ago and to be honest I don't think the desire to have more children ever goes away if that is what you really want. I have just started reading a book about childless women which is helping a little. My sister is lucky enough to have 5 children and she would still like more. I think if you love children and all that goes with them it's a feeling that stays with you. I am blessed with the one beautiful Daughter I have, and people say things like 'you're lucky at least you've got one', usually those who have more than one! There probably isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I had at least two children.

Difficult one, hope someone who has two children comes along an answers you! Good luck with whatever comes your way!

I understand how you feel and don't think yabu. I felt like this after 2 children and so had number three. But as you rightly predict aas a possibility, I had these feelings again and now am expecting number four. This really is the last one for us though. Honestly!

Yes, I think your feelings are normal - feeling sad at no more babies, but also a bit guilty as you have 2 lovely children already.

I wanted three and my DH took a bit of convincing. Now he says absolutely no more - I would quite like another, but he is very sure so I have let him win this time!

I have 3, all the same sex, had third cos I wanted 3 and feel very lucky.

IMO YANBU. My DP adamant we're not having anymore (we have 1 of each), and although 2 is enough for us really (financially and sanity wise) I'm still hoping he'll change his mind later on as I can't imagine aged 25 that that's it. No more babies.

I have two, always wanted three, husband adamant that our family is complete. I felt sad, and always secretly hoped an accident would happen, but it did not and now I have developed some medical issues which would make another baby quite difficult. I have had to accept that there will be no more babies, I understand how you feel and maybe it will be a different outcome for you.
It does get easier as they get older though- both mine at school, baby gear completely cleared out of the house, new carpets/sofas now that they are past the potty training, and as someone said holidays are nearly always geared up for 4, as are lots of 'family tickets' for days out. Occasionally I still feel a pang but I honestly think looking after another baby would be a shock to me now as I feel I am passed all that.

Those of you who now have four or more - did you think 3 would be enough? Atm I would like 3 but certainly no more, but does that change?

We have ds, nearly 17 and dd 13. It was an immense struggle and dd was our 5th pregnancy and born against all the odds. My only regret - I didn't have the courage to try for a third because I didn't think I could have faced another loss.

I feel the same have 2ds and am really broody for another, cant afford another, not enough room etc but cant help but feel sad i will never be pregnant again, will never hold a little new born again and smell that lovley baby smell.
Am just about to stop bf as well and keep thinking this will be the last time i will ever breastfeed.
But then i feel guilty for having these feelings as i am so lucky to have 2, ds2 is the baby i thought i would never have after a 13 year gap.

well i have 5, and we always planned on 4! after no4 i was poorly for a while and then oncei was well again and my ds4 got a bit older, ie over 18mths i suddenly realised i wanted one more! luckily dp was fine with is we now have 11mth old dd! but that is it iam DONE, i dont know what it is and part of me feels sad that i wont ever have a tiny baby again, but ihave no desire to actually go through it all again, i love dd to bits but am enjoying her more and more as she gets more mobile, more responsive and is starting to turn into a toddler rather than a baby. i LOVE the baby stage, i love it all tbh, but i do just somehow feel that that is it.

my sister is due her first in jan tho so i shall be getting to squidge her little one :)

yep. feel the same. just had my second who is 12 weeks and already want another. but i'm 40...

also the education thing, moving house and other banal stuff concetns me. and if i can do three justice.

all the same, ibthink we'll go for it in two years' time.

Me me me! This has been me since DD was born nearly 3 years ago. We have been trying for that whole time :(

Of course a third would mean 2 kids sharing a room, need a new car, all new baby stuff as gave mine away with concieveing taking to long, buggers up holidays, starting again when they will both be in school, costs of childcare, less spare cash, more to spread round at christmas etc....the list is endless really...

I found out i am pregnant last friday
Couldnt give a toss about all the 'issues' a whole new person will be well worth it :)

Thanks for the replies - interesting to hear others' experiences, seems like my feelings are pretty common but bit of a mix of those who have gone for it and those who haven't. I've never wanted four so pretty certain if we did have another that would be it, even if I felt sad. Will have to see how things are over the next year or so - have had two poor sleepers so not sure why I am wishing for another! Still, was beginning to think was totally losing it whilst feeling broody while watching Peppa Pig - the baby piggie (when peppa and george get a new cousin!) with my 3 year old...

cross posted - congratulations BabyDubs that's great news. That is kind of my feeling too, don't think would ever regret another but think I will regret not having one!

OP - I felt like this so we had a third. She is wonderful and it was like a switch had been flicked. I'm done. She's 4 now and I'm still done. Even reading the Christmas newborn thread could only make me ovaries twang a tiny bit.

I feel the same as Northernlurker I had dd3 nine months ago and she is an absolute delight. My other dds are 6 and just turned 4. I had a slight twinge when she was about 4 months old thinking "oh one more", but I got over it very quickly. My sister is due her first baby in January and although I'm over the moon for her, I know I'm done, not even in the slightest bit envious.

I have 3 and love love love it. And thank goodness, as I expected, I now feel complete. I was so tired during early pregnancy I wouldn't want to go through it again.

Having 3 is lovely

I have 2 dc and really really want another but dp says 2 is enough for anyone, there's 4.9 years between my 2 and if we had the same gap ds2 would just have started school which I enjoyed with ds1 as I could sleep with the baby in the day while he was at school, so would want a similar gap. Ds2 is nearly 2 and I am getting more and more anxious about persuading him in the next 2 years! My 2nd pregnancy was horrendous with constant hospital trips and scans etc which is the only thing that worried me about having another.

I just feel blessed to have had a little boy who is healthy and happy as i was told i wouldn't be able to get pregnant without fertility treatment and i had miscarried at the same stage twice before. I did feel broody a while back, and i think everyone does from time to time, but i know i wont ever have another one, which makes me sad, but i am grateful for the one i already have.

I doubt i will have more DC. DH is 'too old and too tired' for more. I sometimes wish for a larger family but I am happy with what I have too.

I know a woman who is currently pg with number 3. She pushed really hard for it, her DH was against it and he eventually agreed. He told her he wasn't happy about it but basically conceded to stop the arguing. He is currently having an affair and planning to leave her (awful, selfish, gutless cunt that he is).

My motto is always to appreciate what you have.

I have just left my husband, despite having stood by him when he did cheat, 3 times. More fool me, but i was young and (very) stupid, now i see him as being selfish. I feel happier without him. Maybe she knows, i did at the time and we had god knows how many screaming arguements but it still took him 2 years to admit it, and when he did he texted me from northampton to tell me . Men can be so cold and uncaring.

I never imagined having three (neither did dh!) but just wasn't done. Dd2 is four months old. As I was giving birth I felt great but glad it was the last time. Ask me again in a few months time, but with the others I was broody by now- actually by six weeks!