to be obsessing about a third child?

[boyfallingoutofthesky]

I have two perfect children, boy and girl, aged 3 and 1 and have just gone back to work after maternity leave which, contrary to expectation I am quite enjoying. However I have found myself becoming ridiculously broody (have never been a broody person before!) to the point where I am already plotting when I can next get pregnant even though my partner (pragmatic person) is being pretty firm that he only wants two and does not think we could afford three (we could but not if we send them to private school which he wants to do - an entire other thread!)

I think fundamentally a part of me is very sad about the prospect of never being pregnant again, and in addition I have always thought 3 children would be nice so feel a bit incomplete then feel guilty as I should just be happy with what we have. My question is are these feelings normal? If I had a third would I want a 4th?? I am 34 so probably have some time, but I guess every pregnancy has a risk and we should just be content to have 2 healthy children and not push our luck. Has anyone else had a similar experience and did it lead to another little bundle or did the feelings eventually go away?

Unless I try again I won't have the teenage years all together as ds1 is 16, ds2 is 8 and ds3 is 8 months so we don't have that worry.

I have just had my 3rd baby, (have 2 x DDs aged 8 & 5), and still feel like I could go and have another. I won't, due to age/finance/DH but I think some people feel a definitive end to their childbearing years, wheras others simply don't.
We conceived DD's really easily, but DS took 3 years. Thought he was never meant to be as we conceived and lost 2 boys with chromosome issues.... I just wasn't prepared to give up trying...I yearned for him, and now he is here and not sleeping and struggling with feeding, and creating far more work than 2 children ever did.......I still felt a bit tearful that I would never have need to see a midwife again!

We also plan on the private school route, but not til age 12 so we will never have to pay for 3 at once...I recommend a 5 year gap (although I never planned for it obviously) as the big ones are at school leaving me time to really give him attention)
The people carrier is cramped, we need to build an extension, there are 3 age phases of toys taking over my house, but we are finally a '5' family (as my girls call it) and it's awesome.

Gosh you sound like me! mine are 3 (nearly 4) and almost 18 months, a girl and a boy.

I know we're lucky

I have been back at work 4 months and like working part time.

DH doesnt want anymore, new car/expense/tired etc and whilst I agree, in theory, I could cry at the thought of not being pregnant and want to cuddle little tiny babies, although I do find the first 3 to 6 months very hard.

I dont have any advice, just wanted to say its not just you [smille]

I remember conversation with mum of three whilst we were deciding. She said she was a bit controlling, bit too organised when she had two so she threw a third child into the mix to ensure a bit of happy chaos.

We did the same and am very happy we did.

Haven't read whole thread but hopefully, by way of balance, someone has pointed out issues of world over population etc.

Feel a tad guilty, but our mad family of 5 are good.

Does anyone with lots envy those with less this thread is interesting

Up until fairly recently, I was convinced I wanted 3. HUGELY so when DS2 was under 1, then between 12-18 months my conviction wobbled slightly, and in the last 6 months or so, especially since he has turned 2, I feel more and more that "that's it" - I think when you already have a baby, adding another baby doesn't seem so difficult, when you start to move away from that, I can see a time when we can walk down the road without restraining a toddler, go on holiday without a pushchair...money and room is a huge factor for us also, as we are in a small 2 bedroom flat, manageable (just) with 2 DS's who wouldn't want their own rooms anyway, but a third would have to go in the airing cupboard! If I could guarantee another boy, I'd possibly think about it further (for practical reasons, not any particular gender preference!)

Having said all this, at 32 and having had straightforward conceptions and pregnancies, I'm aware there is still time for things to change. But as it stands, I see us sticking with our 2 boys.

I really agree with the controlling thing going out of the window with three. It's done me no end of good. And it's all absorbing, less room for error so I spend more time with dc and play with them more-admittedly because dd1and ds would otherwise kill each other . And I value time with each of them more because it's harder won. And the fear of the consequences of disorganisation means our mornings are more relaxed. Weird but true! But no more-I never have four children envy and whilst gooey baby feelings were a big part of it, I always looked at families of five and felt I aspired to it somehow.

Pumpkinbones my worst time for broodiness is just after having a baby-the six week check with first two. But didn't get it this time. Might hit me when she's not a baby any more.

If my job goes belly up next year I'll have less to lose by going for three...

I have this feeling all the time. But I put on early 6 stone with the first DD now 5 and have nearly lost most of it - I have a 2.5 yr old as well. I was sick the whole pregnancy with both of them. DH is older than me and we are just coming out of some bad times financially. Logic tells me no more but my heart yearns at times. the highchair is still in the hall 'on the way' to the dump but somehow it never quite gets there ...

I felt the pang for number 3 when ds was 3 months old. I broached the subject with dh and he said definitely no, for all the practical reasons. Finally at the end of last summer he agreed and after 2 miscarriages and an awful lot of trying, I am 19 weeks pg. DH is very excited now. DD will be 8 and DS will be 4 when this one arrives.

I am hoping that I will be done after this as dh will never go for another.

One of my best moments when dd2 was tiny was dh turning to me and saying "thank you for persuading me"

aww familydilemma - that's lovely

Having read all the posts felt I had to contribute. I am one of 3 and always wanted 3 DCs myself. I have 3 (b, g, b) with just over 5 years between the first and the third. Our family felt complete after ds2 was born whereas before we definitely felt someone was missing. Now my youngest is almost 2 I feel a little bit sad that that stage of our family life is gone but at the same time am excited about the thought of no nappies etc....3 is definitely doable with a normal sized car although if you have them close together you might stuggle with car seats (my eldest is only on a booster now). My 2 youngest share a room and I love how they chat and play in the mornings - I shared a room with my sister growing up and have fond memories of night time whispers, songs and stories that can't be replicated if you have a neat family of 2 with each child having their own room. By choosing to have 3 children you have to think about finances etc which are important but I also think you need to consider how the children will support each other growing up. My aged parents need a lot of help now and I am so thankful that there are 3 of us to share the burden as it would be much harder with 2.

I am old and tired but now that the older 2 have left home ( and in fact since they started secondary school) I would really like another. I don't want a grandchild, I would like another baby.

Funnyperson, I was nearly 16 when my sister was born, it was great and my little brother arrived just after my son, I was 20!

My eldest was 16 when ds3 arrived, he loves it

It's been so interesting reading this thread, very heartfelt and honest comments. I have two dd's oldest is 19 youngest is 5. Am 19 weeks pregnant with number 3. I really thought after 2 we were finished but same as in the very beginning of this thread I had crazy intense feelings of really hoping for another child. Had to convince dh this would be okay for us and actually felt very guilty during my baby campaign as i wouldn't have liked to be pushed into such a massive decision. But, I am 37 now and realised this would soon be the end of that fun wonderful kiddy/baby time which I absolutely love and so does dh. After loads of soul searching and me eventually letting go of having one more little person feeling a bit ashamed and selfish, hubby said actually Iv'e been thinking.... so here we are, whole family and friends beyond excited. Eldest daughter was singing and playing guitar to the prune last night(named by dd2 after she saw the fruit and veg baby week by week size thing on internet) DD1 is happy as she gets to be a child for longer apparently, living vicariously through the younger ones which I thought was lovely as so much pressure to be older than your years these days. And the competition is on for who is going to be the best big sister- not instigated by us obviously!Financially we should be okay as not big spenders, I don't drive, eldest dd's uni fees manageable and we both work but am able to take time off for a few years. So for us it seems to be the right decision and I am so looking forward to it all again, just once more...

Oh god, I really wish we could decide. DH feels too old and tired. So do I most days, but I can't help but think we'd regret it forever if we don't. If we won the lottery I think we'd do it.