to be obsessing about a third child?

[boyfallingoutofthesky]

I have two perfect children, boy and girl, aged 3 and 1 and have just gone back to work after maternity leave which, contrary to expectation I am quite enjoying. However I have found myself becoming ridiculously broody (have never been a broody person before!) to the point where I am already plotting when I can next get pregnant even though my partner (pragmatic person) is being pretty firm that he only wants two and does not think we could afford three (we could but not if we send them to private school which he wants to do - an entire other thread!)

I think fundamentally a part of me is very sad about the prospect of never being pregnant again, and in addition I have always thought 3 children would be nice so feel a bit incomplete then feel guilty as I should just be happy with what we have. My question is are these feelings normal? If I had a third would I want a 4th?? I am 34 so probably have some time, but I guess every pregnancy has a risk and we should just be content to have 2 healthy children and not push our luck. Has anyone else had a similar experience and did it lead to another little bundle or did the feelings eventually go away?

By the way three feels mad, abundant, complete and wonderful!

We had one of each and went for #3 (because of the feelings you describe). We took permanent measures to ensure that there would not be a #4 less than three months after DC3 arrived. I think when you're done, you know.

My friend chrissy has five children, ranging form 18 to 7, and shes only 34 but she has sworn no more (not that you can blame her) but sabrina has only had one and she swears she wont have any more. Some people want more children than others, your fertility restricts you too and t depends on what your births are like because that puts people off.

I, too, never felt broody for the first two, but really, really wanted no 3. DH said no, but mother nature said yes! DH had snip about a week before DC3 was born. Couldn't have had no 4, even if I had wanted to, due to medical reasons which was good as decision was taken out of our hands.

Love, love having 3. Suits us much better than 2. Much more difficult to get babysitters, have lifts given, etc. 2+2 DC plus parent makes 5 who can fit in any car. 2+3 DC plus parent makes 6 which means only people with MPVs can give lifts.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Have to say, though, that all three have been brilliant sleepers, so we were very lucky there.

I could have written your post OP, word for word. I cannot shake the broodiness at all, but DH just won't agree. It isn't that he doesn't want one, but he is just SO practical he would never agree unless we could afford it and that is highly unlikely in the next couple of years.
I don't want a massive gap between DCs so it is looking pretty final that we won't have another. And it makes me so so sad

I have a 4yo son, and a daughter who's 3 a week today! I've been broody since dd hit one.

And dp wanted one child.

And were happily expecting dc#3 in June.

popbiscuit describes my situation. I always wanted 3, feel blessed to have 3 healthy children and I have no desire for anymore. Although having said that I felt a bit sad the other day when I realised I would not give birth again. But it's fine, I will get over it!!

Oh Babydubs your post just made me burst into tears Congrats!

And to Ji too

Jj

empathise with everyone here.......thought...is it cos DHs are agin it that makes us want more[like 'reverse psycology']?

I felt exactly like you, desperate for a third , DH was happy with our two healthy DC's and really didn't want to "risk" another. I used to feel so sad and full of envy every time I saw a pregnant women or a new baby.

Rationalising it all didn't make a lot of difference. I really thought at my 40th birthday, that would be it I needed to move on, my DC's being 9 & 11 years. But apparently not, our beautiful "surprise" arrived 8 months ago, she is a delight, I feel SO lucky to have her and enjoy every minute ( even the two hour wakening over night!)

DH, who didn't want a third for so long, now is devoted to her, even making comments about having no 4!!

Don't you think that you can never really have enough of that high of the night they're born? I have 2 DSs, a big gap between them as for medical reasons it was difficult to have no.2. And for the same reasons (plus I"m now 43) I won't be having any more. But if you could bottle that feeling when you gaze at them all night in hospital the night they're born I doubt there would be any need for alcohol or drugs or painkillers ever again!! So for me, although I was desperately sad not to have a 3rd, I sort of consoled myself that if I'd had a third I would have been desperately sad not to have a fourth and so on and so on. I honestly think that if age health and money were no object I would have had 10 children..

Wow you could be me op, I have 2ds. After ds1 I could quite happily have had another straight away but held off and the is a 17 month gap between them. Then after ds2 was born DP was adamant that that was it NO MORE! However ds2 is 2.3 now and I am 6 weeks pregnant. I got so broody it was sometimes obsessive! Im actually surprised dP stuck around. Anyway I keep saying that after this one I really do have to draw a line and this is the last one.....................

We'll see.

My 3rd was an obsession - I conceived the first 2 easily but after that had an ectopic and a tube removed, severe scarring on one ovary... got on all the TTC threads here, used fertility website, bought books, drank and ate everything, scheduled sex, god it was stressful... But the I had him (not before getting appendicitis at 20 weeks pregnant and then pelvic displacement and horrific SPD and being unable to walk properly for 18mths)

the minute I had him, the broodiness went and 5 years on... I am immune
Oh and too old and rickety ;)

Could have written your post word for word. Even down to DD of 3 and DS of 1. Mind you I'm not 34... but I will be in a few weeks!

I have 3. I can still remember the feelings of broodiness for my third - very soon after the birth of my second child! I just knew that he was not my last baby, and I wanted to do it all again. It was the baby love hormones I think.

My DS is 12 and DD is 7. After having DD I could quite easily have had a third but DH was adamant he was too old. He is 9 years older than me. Instead we got kittens then 18 months ago a dog.

16 months ago I had to have my coil removed because I was becoming anaemic through excessively long AF's. DH suggested trying again!!!!!

I have my 12 week scan on Wed! I will be 40 in Feb DH will be 48 in March so this will definately be the last!

I've been kicking myself that I didn't start breeding earlier as, aged just shy of 40, I've realised that I actually want a whole horde of babies. Rather than the quartet I'd have loved, I'm going to have to settle for a duet.

I've been lucky enough to have had two very straightforward pregnancies (with a horrible miscarriage inbetween), two uncomplicated births, and two amazing girls.

It may seem a bit fatuous, but have you considered volunteering with local NCT, LLL, BFC? These people do amazing work with other local mums and could help you keep in touch with that 'baby feeling', helping out, whilst giving you a bit of distance.

I always said I wanted 2 or 4. After ds1 was born I found it quite hard so accepted that 2 would be it. Then I got broody. Very broody. So eventually dh caved and we went for no3 - who was such a lovely lovely baby. Which made it easier to convince dh that 4 is the magic number for us! Ds2 is 2.5 now and although I love to cuddle other peoples babies, I have no desire to gave any more of my own!

I have only ever and very determinedly wanted one or two children max, but I can really understand this after having my first DC six weeks ago. DH and I decided to have kids early and we are both in our early to mid twenties. We wanted to have one and then another 5 years down the line so we started a bit early so we would still be at an age we felt was good to have number 2 (I would be 30-31 then). Now after having DD and even though it has only been six weeks, I already miss being pregnant and DH has even got it into his head that we could have another in three years instead of five. We adore our DD and would love to have another ASAP after having experienced bringing our first child into the world.

The thought of trying for another in even a year entered my head today and then from that point I even started contemplating having three

I think having babies can be very addictive because the experience can be euphoric, well at least it has been for me. These days I walk around in a constant daze of happy emotions and who wouldn't want to keep that going for as long as possible.

I definitely want at least 3, but I don't know how many biological children I'll have. I have one DS now who is 4.4 and we are going to try for another soon. :)

I'd like to have four ideally, two of each so that everyone could have a brother and a sister. That just always felt ideal to me! I always wanted to be done having bio kids by the time I hit 30, which will be in May, so that might not happen.

I think we'll have one more, maybe two, and then adopt a sibling set.

I must confess to being a baby addict! After having dd and ds I did have to make a good case to Dh about the benefits of having dc3. I eventually talked him into. Thankfully we had just built a new house which has plenty of space and our car was large enough.

Ds2 just fit into the family perfectly and it just seems as though he has always been here.

I think if you try to sit down and work out if you can afford another child - you will probably see that on paper you can't. But when the child is here you can and do get by.

I think you don't regret the children you have only the ones you wish you'd had iyswim.

I'm due dc4 in just under 4 weeks and have three girls who are 4,3 & 15 mo. For the first time I feel categorically sure that this will be it.

Dh would keep going though but as a friend said to me 'it's easy to prepare for a battle you don't have to fight in'!

As a pp said once you know that's it you know

I'm afraid it has been me saying no to DC3 since having DD. DH would have another. He thinks that there is someone missing from our family. I was adamant after giving birth to DD that no more, but now, with a few people I know being pg I am getting the idea that a third might be good.
But, I couldn't have one in the next year, so I don't think we will be having another given our ages.

I am trying hard not to obsess as dd2 is only 6 mths and I want to enjoy her, not worry about the future. I worry about coping with 3 but can't imagine not having 3, iyswim. Dh wont discuss it yet which makes it worse; at least a 'no' would help me move on. Or would it?