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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend all our savings on a trip to Australia and leave Dh/Dc behind?

213 replies

iMemoo · 27/10/2011 15:09

I'm struggling with this one.

My lovely sister moved to Australia a few years ago with her husband. I miss her desperately and it's starting to get the the point where I just really need to see her.

There is no way they can afford to come over to England any time soon and as a family we really can't afford to go out there.

We have a small amount of money in savings account which, despite being such a small amount, is basically our life savings.

Dh suggested that I use this money to go out and see my sister.

I'm really torn though. I so want to see my sister but it would mean leaving behind Dh and my 3 dc and not seeing them for 3 weeks.

It feels so selfish and indulgent too.

What do I do?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 27/10/2011 15:11

If you're sure your DH is ok with it then go for it.

How old are the kids?

FlyingPirates · 27/10/2011 15:11

is skype an option? I know you cant feel a hug, but you can at lest 'see' each other?

DoMeDon · 27/10/2011 15:11

How old are your DC? That would be a deciding factor for me - which is why I ask.

YANBU to do it though - it's only money.

NoobyNoob · 27/10/2011 15:13

I think YABU - especially as it's your life savings.

Can't you Skype? I know it's not the same, but going without the family and spending all that money seems a bit off.

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 15:13

I wouldnt. If that is all the rainy day money you have, then I think in the current economic climate, it would be better to hang on to it.

I can understand you are missing your sister, but if you cant really afford to go, then sadly that is how it is.

Original poster
iMemoo · 27/10/2011 15:14

We skype all the time but it's not the same.

My dc are 12, 10 and 2. The elder two would be fine but my toddler and I are never apart. Dh is really capable and would manage fine.

OP posts:
SeamStitch · 27/10/2011 15:14

We are in a similar boat and we are just making do with Skype, it sucks though.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 27/10/2011 15:15

if the toddler's 2 surely it won't cost much extra to take them?

RosemaryandThyme · 27/10/2011 15:17

Do It - toddler will be fine.

Fly girl fly !!!!

Original poster
iMemoo · 27/10/2011 15:17

It's hard. Dh is pretty ok at work but I'm a sahm so if anything did happen with his job we'd be in trouble. Things are pretty tight too so there is no way we could save the money up again to replace our savings.

But I miss her so much. We are in contact nearly every day but I want to hug her.

OP posts:
squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 15:18

I think it is unfair on the other members of the family that one person gets the trip of a lifetime, and the others get nothing. At 12 and 10, your two oldest children are going to remember that.

Bloodredrubyblue · 27/10/2011 15:18

Can you meet halfway? Malaysia or Thailand are very cheap to be a tourist in and flights can be quite low.

Original poster
iMemoo · 27/10/2011 15:18

If I took dd I'd feel really bad on the other two.

OP posts:
Ciske · 27/10/2011 15:18

DoesNotGiveAFig - not sure about other airlines, but KLM starts charging for toddlers from two year old onwards. Until then, they fly for a small nominal fee (used to be £5.00 for us) and they don't get their own seat.

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 15:18

I hate to say this, but why dont you get a job? Then you can afford to go to see her.

Original poster
iMemoo · 27/10/2011 15:19

I know squeaky, and they've never been abroad before either.

Meeting halfway is a very good idea!

OP posts:
Original poster
iMemoo · 27/10/2011 15:20

Can't really work at the moment squeaky due to illness.

OP posts:
squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 15:22

Fair enough, but then I think you have to accept that it will be a while before you can afford to go and see your sister.

I really dont think it is fair for you to use all the family savings for one trip especially when that sort of money could pay for a holiday for all the family.

zukiecat · 27/10/2011 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
iMemoo · 27/10/2011 15:24

You're probably right.

I think it feels worse at the moment because my parents are going out there next week.

Wish the other side of the world was a bit closer! Sad

OP posts:
grovel · 27/10/2011 15:27

Meeting halfway will cost just as much. Hotels etc, presumably.

Go for it. You cannot spend your whole life worrying about rainy days. Your DH might get a very special extra bonding with your DC as well.

Bloodredrubyblue · 27/10/2011 15:27

Flights from London and a cheap hotel (twin room) in Bangkok would be about £750 for two weeks. You can eat for about £3 a day and travel insurance would be about £60.

flatbread · 27/10/2011 15:29

Go meet your sister. If anything were to happen to her, you would have so many regrets.

It is only money, and if DH is supportive, do it. In worst case scenarion, if dh loses his job, the savings won't go far in any case, so it is not like you are being very irresponsible or anything. Your dh sounds lovely, btw

WhoIsThatMaskedWoman · 27/10/2011 15:29

I really wouldn't personally - what if the boiler breaks down? or the car? I couldn't live with the worry of losing my safety net if I were you.

Ifancyashandy · 27/10/2011 15:30

My mum went away without me when I was about 12. I'd never been further than France at this point. I never ever resented her going. Didn't occur to me to worry that it was 'unfair'. And we were definitely of the skint variety of family at that point!

GO AND SEE YOUR SISTER! There ain't no pockets in a shroud!