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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why people leave their babies to go on holiday

190 replies

poppygolucky · 21/10/2011 21:16

Ok flame me if I'm being judgey mcjudgey pants, but two of my friends have recently left their young babies to go on holiday abroad. In the case of one friend, her DD was just seven weeks old and she went away for 5 nights to Amsterdam.

I know it's none of my business and I wouldn't dream of saying anything in RL, but just wanted to know if other MNetters would find this a bit odd. I don't want to judge them but equally just can't comprehend leaving my baby at that age for that length of time.

I shall don my hard hat and await your replies :)

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 21/10/2011 22:08

I wouldn't, but everyone is different.

SootySweepandSue · 21/10/2011 22:08

I really think it's just plain weird. That's all.
Perhaps as I find it unnatural, maybe that's why. I think someone said this on a recent thread but don't cats not leave their kittens until about 12 weeks?

Original poster
poppygolucky · 21/10/2011 22:09

Dueling Both babies left with GPs.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 21/10/2011 22:13

I was feeling fit and healthy by 7 weeks! If it wasn't for bfing I might have left ds with my parents overnight, but longer than that would have killed me.

I have left him overnight from 6 months though while still bfing. He loves his grandma and I'd have no worries about him staying with her.

crashdoll · 21/10/2011 22:18

I have to keep reminding myself that in this context, GPs are grandparents. I was a bit worried about all these people leaving their kids with their General Practitioner. I was also wondering if I should change GP surgeries!

grumplestilskin · 21/10/2011 22:26

cats don't have a post menapause age, they don't often live past reproductive usefullness. Humans do because in theory maternal grandparents invest in raising their grandchildren through their daughters.

Ever seen some kittens out with their nan? well then how accurate can the comparison be?

Loolah · 21/10/2011 23:08

I have DD1 (7) and DD2 (2) for the past year I have trying to convince DM and MIL to have them both for a week between them so DH and I can have a lovely quiet holiday, we would also take the DD's away too. Sadly for me they can't be convinced, as they always say noone did it for them when me and DH were young. My arguement is they couldn't afford it but we can. They still wont budge, I feel they are conspiring against us. ha ha ha

stupidgreatgrinonmyface · 22/10/2011 00:07

Not sure about seven weeks, but I left DC1 with my mum and dad for six days at 12 weeks. Not something I would ever have thought I could do, but a once in a lifetime opportunity came up and it had to be that particular week. (DH won a comp, sports event related). I am glad I went, it had been a particularly difficult year for us and gave us both an opportunity to recharges our batteries somewhat. It was also the last time we would have a childfree night for a long time - I can count on the fingers of one hand how many more nights we had without at least one of the DCs present over the next 17 years!

I am not sure I would want to do it as a matter of course, but as a one off, very special situation, I am pleased we did it.

WitchesAreComing · 22/10/2011 00:15

Well there was this off-to-St-Barts-with-Nanny-leaving-DH-watching-incubator thread.

I consider it to be a classic of sorts.

WitchesAreComing · 22/10/2011 00:21

I left DD once by the way. When she was only two and a bit for a shagfest pissup five-day cultural enrichment exercise in Spain sedate Southern Europe.

She was with her grandparents and was the Precious First Grandchild. She discovered the joys of Maltesers in that time and would only say, "cocklet balls" on the phone.

New babies? Meh. I'm with the person who said that they could barely get dressed for a few weeks let alone get on a plane.

TheBrideofFrankenstein · 22/10/2011 00:24

I would now, but I wouldn't at 6 weeks. I'm not sure when the cut off is though. I guess it's different for everyone.

TheBrideofFrankenstein · 22/10/2011 00:25

Actually, you know what, having said that I remember a week when DS was 6/7 weeks old when I was just so worn down by the crying that the only thing stopping me grabbing my passport, going to the airport and going to the Maldives for a week on my own was what other people would think.

Original poster
poppygolucky · 22/10/2011 00:29

Witches Jesus H Christ, just clicked on that thread. Now that is truly mental.

And i've no doubt DP and I will leave DD with my mum at some stage when she is older. We could do with some time exploring Europe's cultural highlights ahem

OP posts:
WitchesAreComing · 22/10/2011 00:30

I can see your point there TBoF Grin

FrightNight · 22/10/2011 00:33

oh blimey here goes. At 4 weeks left with DM whilst went to wedding. At 9 months when went to ball. When 18 months for weekend in manhattan. So here we are at age 4.5 with DH away out of necessity for work and my going to meet him for weekend. Teachers advised of potential upheaval. Got back, DS has had fantastic time with DM and DF, loves them more than ever. DS teachers report no change or issues. Should I worry Hmm

1666 · 22/10/2011 00:35

grumplestilskin, I agree with you, criticisms I have had regarding leaving my children to go away with my husband have often come from people whose children have been in daycare from 8-6 from 3 months old.

WitchesAreComing · 22/10/2011 00:36

Nope, FrightNight. Why would you? Perfectly reasonable. I would question going to a wedding at all though but that's just me...

BluddyMoFo · 22/10/2011 00:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrightNight · 22/10/2011 00:42

GrinWitches but I'm one of those oddities that truly love a good wedding x

WitchesAreComing · 22/10/2011 00:47

Oh well if it's a good wedding and not one of the ones you read about on here that's fair enough.

Your weekend in Manhattan sounds ace too. And that your DC has a nice continued relationship with the GPs. My mother has galloping dementia so I'm really glad that she had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with DD Sad

TheBrideofFrankenstein · 22/10/2011 00:57

I dont think the babies will remember so wheres the problem?

Yeah, just don't whatever you do, mention it when they're older. There was one poster on here who was genuinely still pissed off about the fact that her parents went skiing when she was 3 and left her with her GP's but took her 7 yr old brother (on the basis that he was old enough to ski- she wasnt). I mean, she was seriously still upset about it 30 yrs later.

BluddyMoFo · 22/10/2011 01:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnxiousElephant · 22/10/2011 01:05

TBH at 7 weeks I probably wouldn't have done but I did leave dd1 at 8 weeks to go to my house to prep it to sell, miles from my family, DH working, so DGPs had her for 4 days. I couldn't have done all I needed to with baby in tow. To me thats a long weekend, not a holiday! So YABU.

If you had said x went to Australia i.e. other side of the world for 2-3 weeks then YANBU. Also it depends on the circs. We went away for a night when dd1 was 12 wks for our anniversary. Parents and in laws live miles away and we took the opportunity while we could.

FrightNight · 22/10/2011 01:10

Yep Witches, last weekend was Boston. Would have been marv but couldn't get Downton Angry.

In our case the relationship between DS (PFB like you only read about) and his GPs is golden. They all seem to thrive off each other and more so I'm

FrightNight · 22/10/2011 01:11

Moreso if I'm not around x

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