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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not understand why people leave their babies to go on holiday

190 replies

poppygolucky · 21/10/2011 21:16

Ok flame me if I'm being judgey mcjudgey pants, but two of my friends have recently left their young babies to go on holiday abroad. In the case of one friend, her DD was just seven weeks old and she went away for 5 nights to Amsterdam.

I know it's none of my business and I wouldn't dream of saying anything in RL, but just wanted to know if other MNetters would find this a bit odd. I don't want to judge them but equally just can't comprehend leaving my baby at that age for that length of time.

I shall don my hard hat and await your replies :)

OP posts:

mummyosaurus · 23/10/2011 15:14

I couldn't have left them that young.

But once they got to 2 and 4 I left them for a weekend and it did me a lots of good, like the light at the end of the tunnel had been switched back on.

I am lucky that my mum will have them and they love going to her.

So never say never.

Rhubarbgarden · 23/10/2011 18:59

My Mum buggered off to Ibiza when I was a few weeks old. I was a bit shocked when I found out, but as she pointed out, did I notice? Do I remember? No. I was looked after perfectly capably by Grandma. It had no impact on me whatsoever; I was always immensely close to my Mum and if I am half the Mum to my daughter that she was to me, I will be proud. I don't see why it's selfish to want a holiday, motherhood is hard work, especially those first few weeks.

MrBloomsNursery · 23/10/2011 19:04

Cassettetapeandpencil - Why are you getting so wound up? BADABOOSH!!! (Thank You, Thank You)....

MrBloomsNursery · 23/10/2011 19:07

I can understand a parent going off somewhere in an emergency like a death and baby has no passport - but not on bloody holiday. You have children to enjoy them no? You don't have children just for the sake of procreating. And anyway, I couldn't even walk at 7 weeks post-birth. This woman obviously didn't have a ripped perenium.

callmemrs · 23/10/2011 19:20

Why do you think parents who have a holiday without their children don't enjoy being with them? You don't have to spend every waking moment with a child to enjoy their company, and to enjoy raising them.

After all, if that were the case, no parent would ever get out the door to work would they?!!

cory · 23/10/2011 19:27

I left dd with dh to go to a 4 day conference abroad when she was 6 months old- the reason I felt I could do that without a qualm was because she was with her dad, so it wasn't really any different to if he had had to go off for work for a few days.

Now I can well imagine family setups where a baby has that same closeness to a grandparent and then I don't suppose I'd feel any different about leaving baby with them.

btw I was breastfeeding, but that wasn't really a problem: my supply was well establised so I could easily fill the freezer beforehand, and express for my own comfort as and when. Didn't cause any hang-ups whatsoever: dd and I just took it up where we left off.

scottishmummy · 23/10/2011 19:42

If that 5days gives adequate rest and mum needs it for wellbeing - mental and physical it's fair enough

ionysis · 23/10/2011 20:04

You're lucky if you happen to live in a country where you don't HAVE to go back to work before your babies are X months old. Where I live you get 45 days and not a minute more. As my husband is not employed I had no choice but to "abandon" my baby when she was 6 weeks old. Every person I know says they are incredibly jealous as they have never seen a happier or more easy going child than ours is. So I don't think its done any visible harm!

Cassettetapeandpencil · 23/10/2011 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flippinada · 23/10/2011 20:14

What LyingWitch said (again).

Shakey1500 · 23/10/2011 20:24

YABU. You don't have to understand why some parents go on holiday without their children. You just need to accept that some people do.

Dh and I went abroad for a week and our 18month ds stayed with my parents. This was a much needed holiday following my ill health after ds's birth. Four operations across 18months had taken it's toll. My parents offered, we gratefully accepted and went online THAT night to book it

Ds had a whale of a time, as did we. I even purposely had a bottle of beer in the car and cracked it open after we'd dropped him off

apachepony · 23/10/2011 21:25

My mum and dad left me when I was 7 weeks old to go on a month long holiday, booked before mum knew she was pregnant with me. I wasn't even left with my granny, but with a family friend. Have to admit to being affronted when I found out later in life, but i'm generally unaffected and have a great relationship with mum. Different times, heh....

Whatmeworry · 23/10/2011 21:33

I think going for 5 days at 7 weeks seems very long/early, I wouldn't. It would also depend hugely on who they were being left with.

Original poster

poppygolucky · 23/10/2011 21:35

I accept I probably am being unreasonable to pass judgement on my friends. I genuinely would never say anything and posted here rather than articulate my feelings in RL.

As I said up the thread, I don't think either of these couples are bad parents or that their babies will be affected. It's just DP and I were both a bit shocked when we found out, and both said we couldn't imagine doing the same.

However, each to their own and I shall hang up my judgey pants, and concentrate on raising my own baby instead of spending time worrying about how other people raise theirs :)

OP posts:

grumplestilskin · 26/10/2011 15:48

"I genuinely would never say anything and posted here rather than articulate my feelings in RL"

and if in real life they read it, or their family/friends read it and mention it to them, or real people who do exactly the same thing read it.. that's okay?

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