to feel snubbed by lack of invitation?

[IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove]

It's a good friend's hen do in a couple of weeks' time. It'll cost me around £200 to attend (a LOT of money for me!).

Out of the twelve or so people invited to the hen, two of us aren't invited to the wedding reception. On the email list to organise the hen, they're all discussing what they're wearing for the wedding (I think only I and the other woman know that we're not invited).

Over the past year or so I've helped my friend and her fiancee out a few times when they've been stuck and seem to be a bit of a first-port-of-call for them. We've known each other for about five years.

For the reception, they've hired a hall and a DJ, so numbers aren't overly-restricted.

So am I being over-sensitive, or is this a snub?

Well done OP!!!

scarah you will not rest till we out this bride!

OP send her a link to "dragon butter" DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES google this yourself. You have been warned!

I'm with LydiaWickham on this. You will end up as the evil one when in fact the bride is the nutter butter.

Yup, we need to get old Ghastly excited, she's about to pop.

Tights - well done for finding out about the deposit. It seems the instincts of most of us on this thread were right.

I realise that sounds a bit smug but I found the 'can't believe how many of you wouldn't stump up the £80' brigade a bit annoying.

Op you need to stand up for yourself. Either text her and tell her what a nasty bitch she is or block her completely from your life. Stop being so polite!

I disagree runningwilde, I think remaining polite is by far the best thing to do. I also think that sending a link to this thread would be madness, there are a lot of very childish and melodramatic things on this thread (as well as some measured and considered advice).

I think you've behaved properly, politely, decently and (now) assertively Tights - don't spoil it by any playground "ner, ner, ner" stuff. You can move on now and be pleased that you have not been a doormat but that you haven't descended to bitchiness either.

Sounds as if they need a minimum number to do the hen party activity, and still wanted to charge you, even though they hadn't paid, because otherwise they didn't have enough people to be able to book it and pay the deposit.

Bizarre that the bride didn't just apologise and invite you to the reception, it's a lot less hassle to have someone at your reception, when you don't really even get the chance to talk to everyone there, than all the hassle you've given her now.

I think there must be more to all this! Mist bizarre!

How ironic that the HO thinks you don't trust her! She's untrustworthy! Lying scumbag.

Actually it's the groom I feel sorry for here - the poor sod is going to be married to this woman!

Of course I Googled "Dragon butter" it when I read that GHAHSTLY! How delightful!

I have good news at last. I called my real friend and apologised again. She said she was ok and was glad that I told her about the deposit, but she's still annoyed at me for not speaking to her before contacting the HO. I said that I'd chatted to some friends about it and they'd encouraged me to do so and I felt I had to act there and then - true! :) I said that I'm not going to contact the bride-to-be again and that I was very, very sorry that I made a decision behind her back.

Lydia, no I won't send anyone a link to the thread for two reasons:

1. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. The bride's sister is going to the hen and I think it would be horrible for her to see her sister being bitched about (even though she deserves it, of course!)
2. I fully intend to keep on Mumsnetting and I don't know how to change my name yet, so I don't want all of those people to read my posts!

ditziness, there can't be anything more to it than I can think of though. I don't think I (or my other friend) know anyone else going to the wedding/reception apart from the groom, so it's not as though there are any social factors - we've never met any of them and certainly haven't fallen out with anyone or anything.

By the way, the groom is a really nice, friendly chap.

You're snagging the groom aren't you?

Shagging!!! Gah I hate autocorrect!

Well done! I agree that you should retain the moral high ground and do nothing further. Maybe arrange something nice with your real friend for that weekend?

Well, that's one way to get yourself excluded from a wedding, I suppose!

No, of course I'm not, snagging or shagging him!

Yes, I'll go out with my real friend soon. Buy her a drink or five to say sorry.

the email from the bride is such a fecking cheek, of course you dont trust her!

well done OP you have done us all proud

Thanks everyone. You have all given SUCH a boost and really made me get a grip!

Thanks all, very much. :)

i would also be tempted to send a copy of the email from the venue to the girl who pulled out last week and had to pay the full amount. bloody hell £160 is a fortune to us and i would be gutted to lose out on that

Hope you completely block her out now op, life is too precious to waste on the likes of her

Very good point Marthas!

That is a good point.

Would it be legal to tell someone that a deposit had been paid, and take money from them on that basis if it wasnt true?

Tights, you are a total star! I've been addicted to this thread all day, but can only post now. I'm so glad you're not going; the bride sounds like a total b, not to mention her HO, and bloody well done to you for standing up for yourself, girl.

Legal? No. it would be attempted fraud, I would have thought.

wow what a thread!!!!!!! Well done tights and all the best of british luck to that poor man marrying such a bridezilla