to feel snubbed by lack of invitation?

[IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove]

It's a good friend's hen do in a couple of weeks' time. It'll cost me around £200 to attend (a LOT of money for me!).

Out of the twelve or so people invited to the hen, two of us aren't invited to the wedding reception. On the email list to organise the hen, they're all discussing what they're wearing for the wedding (I think only I and the other woman know that we're not invited).

Over the past year or so I've helped my friend and her fiancee out a few times when they've been stuck and seem to be a bit of a first-port-of-call for them. We've known each other for about five years.

For the reception, they've hired a hall and a DJ, so numbers aren't overly-restricted.

So am I being over-sensitive, or is this a snub?

[Eggrules]

I'd love to hear what else happened too

[Aloha31]

Any updates op?!

[kipperandtiger]

*contemplates

[kipperandtiger]

I agree with Booandpops - logic says that if a woman contemplate spending £200 on a hen do (or making her friends spend that on her), she has no right to consider being a cheapskate and asking ANY photographer to do an entire wedding for free. Discount maybe, free is just taking the pi**. It's a lot of money, and frankly, if they were your friends, you'd want to give them legitimate business and pay them, not rob them.

[Booandpops]

this thread is awesome!!
Im a wedding photographer and cant belive the cheek of the bride!!!
my basic package is £800, never spent that on a wedding pressie in my life on anyone, not even my brother.

Luckly all my friends are married and Ive done them a really cheap deal and given them a canvas as a wedding gift or similar. They have been really grateful and none expected a freebie of £800 or more!!!

Disclaimer-these are friends but not best friends-I'd do those weddings for free.

Your well rid OP-well done![hsmile]

[corriefan]

No I'm not just having a giggle, I have been invited on a hen weekend! Not saying it is the same one, I'm sure there are plenty being organised up and down the country!

[TheOriginalFAB]

Huge coincidence or corrie is having a giggle.

[corriefan]

Ha ha! I don't mind, I don't know the bride that well, I'm friends with a friend of hers and I wouldn't have expected an invitation to anything, it was an off chance invitation and I declined, it's too much at the mo! I have to say though from what I do know of bride I can't see her being as egotistic as the OP's ex friend, though an engagement ring does seem to send some women deranged!

[MrsDreadfullyMorbidMausoleum]

Corriefan - I bet that last minute invite left you feeling all warm and fuzzy too didn't it?

Bloody hell, the nerve of people! FWIW I had a very dull nice drink in a few pubs. I even bought the drinks! [soft centred emoticon]

[ZonkedOut]

It might be £140 because the other person who dropped out paid in full, subsidizing everyone else!

Probably just a coincidence, but fun to think otherwise.

[corriefan]

Well it's only £140 plus train so prob not same, just a coincidence! The main event has an a? historical theme, did yours tights?

[kipperandtiger]

Go on, corriefan and Tights - do PM each other to see if it's the same outing!! (But if it is you really wonder about HO and Bridezilla asking someone's friend to a hen outing now to cover costs!!) Only if you two are happy to be a little daring and walk on the wild side.........

[MarthasHarbour]

[hshock] at corrie

so is the cost £160? and how charming of your friend to invite you because they need to cover costs [hhmm]

oooo but go on - PM the OP then-tell all of us what is going on

[hwink]

[cerealqueen]

Opps, just seen its been suggested already! Do it,do it, do it, do it!!!!!!!

[cerealqueen]

Great thread! Well done OP!

OP, can't you do a reply all, leave out the HO and say no deposit has been paid.....or is that really stirring it?

[ViviPru]

Utter legend OP [hsmile]

That is all.

[MysteriousHamster]

Oooh, I'm intrigued now corrie!

[GHAHSTLYGHOULYpants]

the plot thickens!!

[HavePatience]

Ohhhhh corrie you must pm the op and find out.... Then report back!

[corriefan]

I got a text from a friend earlier inviting me on a hen weekend as someone has dropped out last minute and they needed to cover costs, couldn't help but make a link although I'm sure they won't be related! There is an unusual activity involved too!

[MarthasHarbour]

i actually hope that nickelbabe is right and there was no dropper outer, at least then noone is fleeced.

she is such a liar - that email saying that the deposit had already been paid

[nickelbabe]

sounds like maybe she made the dropper-outer up so that everyone else would be scared into going no matter what.
it didn't work on you and she's piiiissed

[KouklaWhooooo]

Ooh I love threads like this, MN at it's best. Well done Tights you have done absolutely the right thing, you have nothing to feel bad about.

It's so bad that they tried to charge you half! Sending that email catsareevil suggests may be a good idea - don't want the bride badmouthing you, and only fair to the other drop-out.

[springydaffs]

oh you poor thing to get mixed up with a nightmare like this OP!

The awful thing is, you're howling and getting all upset, when you have nothing to be upset about! What, you're upset because you wouldn't let a con artist do you over? Well done btw for standing up for yourself. She, and her HO, sound a right pair, two of a kind.

fwiw, bridezilla psychobitch accused you of snubbing her when she had snubbed you - blatantly, to your face (not even behind your back, not that I'm splitting hairs). I mean, like

As an excuse, when she had the spotlight on her and there was nowhere to turn, she said you had said you didn't want to go to the wedding (wtaf???). I don't think there was anything fishy there, just that she was caught in a corner with the light full on her and she made up something ridiculous. Barefaced, no shame. She's turns everything on its head.

Plus she makes out she's done you a favour by doing you over

As for accusing you of not trusting the HO. erm, the HO was blatantly untrustworthy - she lied ffs.

You are so well rid tights. Don't bother to get upset about it - thank goodness you've got out of it, and without paying a cent too. I also wouldn't worry about her sister getting wind of what psychobitch has been up to - her sister is probably very well aware of what her sister gets up to, and may also be grateful/inspired that someone quietly stood up to her. unless she's a psycho herself of course, it could run in the family. Is the HO family? that poor groom.

sorry if I'm a bit behind the times but 28 pages was a bit mean when I'm tired and need to go to bed and couldn't read it all except your posts, so I missed everyone's sage advice. Sorry

[catsareevil]

Doing a reply all could be OK. If you say something like: 'For information, here is the email I received from the venue. I'm not able to attend this event anymore, but I wanted to forward this to ensure that you know that there are no financial implications from this.'

If there has been dishonesty and bad feeling and you dont really know the other guests then it is possible that they could be left with the impression that you had left them with outstanding money to be paid.