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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel snubbed by lack of invitation?

713 replies

IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove · 20/10/2011 16:25

It's a good friend's hen do in a couple of weeks' time. It'll cost me around £200 to attend (a LOT of money for me!).

Out of the twelve or so people invited to the hen, two of us aren't invited to the wedding reception. On the email list to organise the hen, they're all discussing what they're wearing for the wedding (I think only I and the other woman know that we're not invited).

Over the past year or so I've helped my friend and her fiancee out a few times when they've been stuck and seem to be a bit of a first-port-of-call for them. We've known each other for about five years.

For the reception, they've hired a hall and a DJ, so numbers aren't overly-restricted.

So am I being over-sensitive, or is this a snub? Confused

OP posts:
Teetik · 24/10/2011 14:05

Missed that! Thanks.
They are a bunch of horrors!

PoopyFingers · 24/10/2011 14:25

Nice way to start married life isn't it... Hmm

oohlaalaa · 24/10/2011 14:28

I agree with SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood, you need to tell the person that has handed over £160, that no deposit has been paid.

oohlaalaa · 24/10/2011 14:33

Missed to say, well done tights, for not going and being taken advantage of financially. Yay!! You sound tres lovely.

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 24/10/2011 19:42

Oh Tights! I hope you can stay without having to change your utterly brilliant username.

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 24/10/2011 20:33

My considered contribution to this affair: You have done ABSOLUTELY the right thing during this - you have NOTHING to be ashamed of!!!
Sorry - I came late to the thread. The fucking cheek of some people!!

PaddingtonBearLondon · 24/10/2011 23:01

I've been gripped by the whole thread and I just wanted to say

WELL DONE TIGHTS!

You sound lovely by the way, so I'm sure you must have lots of genuine friends to enjoy time with instead of Bridezilla.

Original poster
IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove · 25/10/2011 20:36

Thanks again, everyone.

I've been trying to work out who the person is who dropped out and paid the deposit, so that I can show them the email I received from the activity place. I've looked through all the emails and I don't think I can work out who it is. All I have (I think) is an email from the HO saying that we'd have to pay if we drop-out now as she'd (the HO) paid the deposit and was very sorry that someone was unable to attend and had had to pay. From the email it seems as though they'd already paid. No addresses have been dropped from the list on the two subsequent group emails though. I'll keep trying to find out who it is...

OP posts:
GHAHSTLYGHOULYpants · 25/10/2011 20:48

tights, the super sleuthe Grin

Original poster
IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove · 25/10/2011 20:55
Grin
OP posts:
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 25/10/2011 22:07

In that case I think you need to reply to the HO, accidentaiiy copying all in "just to amke sure that you let the other person who dropped out know that there was no deposit to pay? After that mix up with the place, I thought I had better check"

:o

runningwilde · 25/10/2011 22:47

Yes yes! Definitely do what shriekkkkk said! You must! All worded very innocently of course...

Conundrumish · 25/10/2011 23:00

I think you'd be better off being dignified about it as you have been to date - rather than copying everyone in. Don't forget that the other person who has been fleeced is a friend of theirs and could be as bad as them!

catsareevil · 25/10/2011 23:06

Doing a reply all could be OK. If you say something like: 'For information, here is the email I received from the venue. I'm not able to attend this event anymore, but I wanted to forward this to ensure that you know that there are no financial implications from this.'

If there has been dishonesty and bad feeling and you dont really know the other guests then it is possible that they could be left with the impression that you had left them with outstanding money to be paid.

springydaffs · 25/10/2011 23:35

oh you poor thing to get mixed up with a nightmare like this OP!

The awful thing is, you're howling and getting all upset, when you have nothing to be upset about! What, you're upset because you wouldn't let a con artist do you over? Well done btw for standing up for yourself. She, and her HO, sound a right pair, two of a kind.

fwiw, bridezilla psychobitch accused you of snubbing her when she had snubbed you - blatantly, to your face (not even behind your back, not that I'm splitting hairs). I mean, like Shock

As an excuse, when she had the spotlight on her and there was nowhere to turn, she said you had said you didn't want to go to the wedding (wtaf???). I don't think there was anything fishy there, just that she was caught in a corner with the light full on her and she made up something ridiculous. Barefaced, no shame. She's turns everything on its head.

Plus she makes out she's done you a favour by doing you over

As for accusing you of not trusting the HO. erm, the HO was blatantly untrustworthy - she lied ffs.

You are so well rid tights. Don't bother to get upset about it - thank goodness you've got out of it, and without paying a cent too. I also wouldn't worry about her sister getting wind of what psychobitch has been up to - her sister is probably very well aware of what her sister gets up to, and may also be grateful/inspired that someone quietly stood up to her. unless she's a psycho herself of course, it could run in the family. Is the HO family? that poor groom.

sorry if I'm a bit behind the times but 28 pages was a bit mean when I'm tired and need to go to bed and couldn't read it all except your posts, so I missed everyone's sage advice. Sorry

KouklaWhooooo · 26/10/2011 00:35

Ooh I love threads like this, MN at it's best. Well done Tights you have done absolutely the right thing, you have nothing to feel bad about.

It's so bad that they tried to charge you half! Sending that email catsareevil suggests may be a good idea - don't want the bride badmouthing you, and only fair to the other drop-out.

nickelbabe · 26/10/2011 10:37

sounds like maybe she made the dropper-outer up so that everyone else would be scared into going no matter what.
it didn't work on you and she's piiiissed

MarthasHarbour · 26/10/2011 15:13

i actually hope that nickelbabe is right and there was no dropper outer, at least then noone is fleeced.

she is such a liar - that email saying that the deposit had already been paid Angry

corriefan · 26/10/2011 19:06

I got a text from a friend earlier inviting me on a hen weekend as someone has dropped out last minute and they needed to cover costs, couldn't help but make a link although I'm sure they won't be related! There is an unusual activity involved too!

HavePatience · 26/10/2011 19:44

Ohhhhh corrie you must pm the op and find out.... Then report back!

GHAHSTLYGHOULYpants · 26/10/2011 20:52

the plot thickens!!

MysteriousHamster · 26/10/2011 21:28

Oooh, I'm intrigued now corrie!

ViviPru · 26/10/2011 22:03

Utter legend OP [hsmile]

That is all.

cerealqueen · 26/10/2011 22:08

Great thread! Well done OP!

OP, can't you do a reply all, leave out the HO and say no deposit has been paid.....or is that really stirring it?

cerealqueen · 26/10/2011 22:09

Opps, just seen its been suggested already! Do it,do it, do it, do it!!!!!!!

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