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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel snubbed by lack of invitation?

713 replies

IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove · 20/10/2011 16:25

It's a good friend's hen do in a couple of weeks' time. It'll cost me around £200 to attend (a LOT of money for me!).

Out of the twelve or so people invited to the hen, two of us aren't invited to the wedding reception. On the email list to organise the hen, they're all discussing what they're wearing for the wedding (I think only I and the other woman know that we're not invited).

Over the past year or so I've helped my friend and her fiancee out a few times when they've been stuck and seem to be a bit of a first-port-of-call for them. We've known each other for about five years.

For the reception, they've hired a hall and a DJ, so numbers aren't overly-restricted.

So am I being over-sensitive, or is this a snub?

OP posts:

jalopy · 23/10/2011 16:24

Mindthegap, duh?

MissBeehiving · 23/10/2011 16:25

What a Bridezilla!

Yay for Mners and Tights!

Willabywallaby · 23/10/2011 16:29

Well done OP, inspirational!

microfight · 23/10/2011 16:31

Tights
Well done. Have you replied to "what the fuck?"
If you haven't yet perhaps some clever mumsnetter could think of a suitable reply for you

GHAHSTLYGHOULYpants · 23/10/2011 16:32

yet more evidence that the bridezilla is a grapsing witch! why the fuck indeed?! horrid horrid horrid.

tights I am going to go all OPRAH on you "YOU go girl!"

microfight · 23/10/2011 16:34

sorry I meant "why the fuck"

ScarahStratton · 23/10/2011 16:36

Just link this thread and put 'this is why the fuck'.

Then tell her to fuck the fuck off to the far side of fuck.

piratecaaaaaaaaaghhht · 23/10/2011 16:42

so she's not got enough 'real' friends (so you and your 200 quid were invited) for the hen night, but is oversubscribed on the do itself??

weird!?

anyhow, glad mumsnet was here to guide you through it.

it will pass op, and you will feel better for it. well done .

pigletmania · 23/10/2011 16:46

My goodness Tights you are best off without her, she does not sound like a good friend at all, it was one sided like you said. Of course you don't trust someone you don't know from Adam, and the fact she said something different to the venue, good thing you did check. Sounds like the bride and HO are in cahoots with each other.

pigletmania · 23/10/2011 16:46

With a cheeky, rude grasping person this bride is.

pigletmania · 23/10/2011 16:52

The bride is livid, wtf!!!!! You are the one that should be livid at being treated like crap not her.

FairhairedandFrustrated · 23/10/2011 17:11

Oh tights.

Am so glad you told her not to contact you again! What a piece of work!

You're far better off without her.

And hopefully your real friend will come round to the idea too & you'll both see what a waste of time the bride is.

What does your DH say about it all?

LoveBeingAWitch · 23/10/2011 17:22

Well done you. Just ignore any more messages if they do come.

MorelliOrRanger · 23/10/2011 17:57

I agree, you don't need to discuss anything with her now.

Good riddance and well done for your text. I wouldn't have been as nice as you.

I'd have told her to eff off.

chipmonkey · 23/10/2011 17:58

IveGotTights I would love you to email the entire hen party and link to this thread!

PoopyFingers · 23/10/2011 18:00

Tights

Shocking response by Bridezilla. You are still being exceptionally civilised to her though - at this point you really would be justified in telling her the truth about how unacceptable her behaviour is.

But keep your dignity of course, don't sink to her "why the fuck" level just tell her the truth, and CC it to every fucker other hen on the party.

I am very impressed by your calm, civilised attitude though, you are lovely.

Jings at this whole thing!

Shriekable · 23/10/2011 18:05

WOW!!! Logged on for something totally different, then found this thread! Have sat here reading every page, getting more and more wound up by your thoughtless (ex) friend and the HO, and then so happy that you stood up for
yourself!! I've been a bit of a doormat in the past, so I know how difficult it must have been for you. I got married last week - everyone who came to the hen/stag dos was invited to the wedding - goes without saying in my book that if a person is willing to shell out to help you celebrate your final days of singledom that you should have them at the wedding. The bride sounds vile. Our photographer cost nearly £1400 - and your friend wanted this for free!! I also had to pay a £250 deposit to secure the date (non refundable) which apparently she didn't feel necessary, and then she messed you around by then changing photographers. You are lucky to have this person out of your life. I think that any of the other hens would secretly understand exactly where you are coming from, whether or not they dare admit it to Bridezilla! Please don't allow any form of contact with this thoughtless, selfish woman again. And they lied to you about the deposit! Unforgiveable. The money they tried to get out of you would no doubt have gone in the 'kitty' and you would have ended up funding a few rounds of drinks. Think about that if you ever feel yourself wavering. I've discovered that it's so much more rewarding standing up for myself straightaway, rather than festering/worrying/going over and over things later. Say what you think, who cares if these people are mad at you? Your ex-friend should be mortified that she upset you, but she isn't, and she's trying to make you out to be the bad guy. Horrible. You sound like a lovely, caring person. Surround yourself with similar people who deserve your friendship x

PoopyFingers · 23/10/2011 18:06

I wonder how many of the hen party have actually paid £80 though...

Don't want to sound horrible, but will HO throw a strop and cancel the entire weekend for everyone - and of course be "unable to refund" the deposit for anyone, because she's pocketed it and not paid the venue in the first place?

At this point I'd email all other hens the email from the venue to let them know the state of affairs... none of this is their fault, it's only Bride Zee and Head Orifice who are grasping arseholes.

AuntieMaggie · 23/10/2011 18:06

Well done you!

PoopyFingers · 23/10/2011 18:13

...and do any of the Hen Party actually know anything about this?

I doubt it...

Unless they've just been told that Tights is messing Bridezilla about, and causing financial distress to HO

Shocking that BZ has no shame, even though she MUST know that HO lied through her teeth about the deposit?

ScarlettIsWalking · 23/10/2011 18:14

This bride really takes the biscuit!

She has got some fucking cheek to be furious at YOU!!! Both the HO and her lied through their teeth and now busted - They should be in shame but they have the brass neck to be miffed

ScarahStratton · 23/10/2011 18:19

I really do feel that it is necessary to send a link to the entire party. Just so they can be completely clear as to what has happened.

LydiaWickham · 23/10/2011 18:25

No, don't send a link, you don't know anyone execpt for the bride who'll be there - these are people who are close enough (!) to the bride to be invited to her hen do and wedding, she'll say you're crazy and that's not how it happened, and you'll just be that horrible woman who tried to ruin the bride's hen do and slagged her and her bridesmaid off on the internet.

You never have to meet any of these people every again, so don't worry what they think about you.

The bride's reaction tells me that she isn't someone worth having in your life, so at least she's shown you so you know not to talk to her again.

So it's all done with. Well done you. Let the others find out in their own sweet time what a cow bag the bride is.

PoopyFingers · 23/10/2011 18:31

What on earth went through HO's head when she got angry about the non refundable deposit?

Maybe Bridezilla does actually think that HO is going to be short of £80 (but I doubt it)

Tights have you told Bridezilla that you are being demanded to pay HO?

PoopyFingers · 23/10/2011 18:32

Actually, yes, Lydia you are right - don't send a link, it'll all be misrepresented and you'll be the baddie.

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