to be sat here crying at the thought of putting my baby in nursery

[pinkyp]

my 2nd ds is 10 months, i've just gone and got myself a good job only problem is they only had full time available. I start next week. I'm sat in floods of tears looking at all the nurerys online - they dont look good enough, cant bare the thought of going to one, no one will be able to look after him like i do. What about when he's being naughty they wont love him they'll dislike him for being naughty.

I feel like running away, tempted to go get in bed and hide. Please help me get a grip.

i've just joined this thread so am going back to to the initial point : both my children went full time to a childminder from 6 months. Both are lovely teenagers (well, as lovely as teenagers can be)... so no regrets. My sister sent her 2 to a childminder from 6 weeks as she was the main breadwinner and both now in their twenties are as gorgeously rounded individuals as you can imagine. Go for it - it would be awful to regret it for the rest of your life.

my 2 yr old dd goes to a montessori - we both love it and she has gone from 14 months with really no problems except the initial settling period of a few weeks. dd went for a year beforei went back to work - just ended up that way but glad she had months for us both to settle and cope with change beoe the added pressure of work - i realise i have been more than lucky!
one thing i always worried about was how loving the nursery staff would be toward dd and i read 'what every parent needs to know' - which put he fear of god into me about depressed babies. i need not have worried though dd gets lots of cuddles and has often slept on the lap of her keyworker (no cio rubbish there!) for her daytime nap and no one there considers this any kind of problem :). now dd talks she is very vocal about nursery and chats about her keyworker and what they do together. recently this montessori had a surprise ofsted visit which resulted in a glowing report with particualr praise about staff/child bonding and strong relationships

i would never claim anyone HAS to send their child to nursery but i do notice how outgoing dd and her best friend (also 2 days a week at diff nursery) are and how keen to try things they are. this is in comparisom to one child in our social group who doesnt attend any kind of activity with no parent present who is considerably more clingy. (though i appreciate all children develop at their own rates and age 2 is early to judge much really)

Well me and dh worked everything ok, we would only be £100 better off (after childcare, extra petrol etc) from me working an extra 26 hours a week, so really i don't think it's worth it like it originally was (when I only had 10hrs childcare costs). Expected to feel secretly glad but tbh i'm a bit disappointed.

Boffinmum - I actually did cry at leaving my DS at nursery the first time - he was my first & I wondered if I was doing the right thing (although I had thought about it long and hard and thought I was) As I also said upthread , I cried when it was his last day ever there because he had been so happy.

I am sure there are rubbish nurseries - we happened to find a good one (did a great deal of research and visiting - you make your own luck as they say) and it was a joy. My DS would say that as well.

But for those who say I am Wicked Mum of the provebial for having a nursery look after my DS when he was young ........Whatever. He's happy , healthy and doing well. Don't put your children into nursery if you don't want to - Nobody is trying to make you do so . But for those who think it is an option I for one can thoroughly recommend a good nursery .

This is really odd but very relevant - on Saturday ds2 had some friends in and dh sat chatting to them,one of them said hed dropped out of school at 14 -he'd been to so many different schools (his mum and dad have inportant jobs) and he just felt he didnt fit in - anyway explaining to all the lads and dh how many schools hed been at the first one he mentioned was the name of my nursery......my real name is like being called for example Jane but as there was already a jane at nursery I was referred to as Jay (not my name obv in real life using jane as an example)-he said nursery was great and he remembered being there and even when he went to school his mum and dad paid for the nursery nurse to take him to school on his first day.....well when I came into the room he kept looking at me ......all of a sudden he exclaimed 'Jay its you isnt it? your hair is straight now it used to be vv curly'.

He was one of my boys from nursery and hearing him tell how happy hed been at nursery I thought id come and tell you here.

"Expected to feel secretly glad but tbh i'm a bit disappointed."

Pinky, do you want to work? Maybe, even though it's only an extra £100, going back to work would be the best thing for you in the long run? Or could your DH change his hours so you could work the days he isn't?

I cried:

Leaving DCs at daycare nursery
When DCs left daycare nursery
When DD1 started nursery school
When DD1 left nursery school
When each DC started school
When each DC moved schooling phases
When DD left school
When DD started university
When DD left university
When DD left homw

I am a big softie, embarrass my children in public and always have a packet of tissues in my handbag.

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pinky, if you want to work, and are actually not making a loss by doing so, please go back to work! Think of the long-term benefits of keeping your career going - in a year you'll have a pay-rise (well, we all live in hope!) whereas if you wait another year, you'll starting back at where you are now. Or if you wait two years, that's 2 years of pay-rises and promotions missed, and 2 less years' experience on your CV.

Went back to my old job this week, my ds had fun at the cm, I missed him lots