to think perhaps working mothers should have priority when it comes to nursery places??

[SJaneS]

My OH has a new job starting the end of next month - its a big role and more money (good news!) but a long commute which means during the working week we won't see much of him. Currently he does the drop off and pick up from our childminder three days a week and our 3 year old daughter is in the local nursery the other two days.

I don't drive and will have to do the childminder drop off and pick up which will involve a two hour journey for three days a week (its in the next village and we have an infrequent bus and train service). We live in a village where everyone is relatively well off and the majority of the other local mothers I know have been able financially to choose to stay at home. I completely respect that and if we were in a different position then I'd prefer to be bringing up our daughter. As it is I work a five day week.

We have one nursery and one childminder in the village. Nursery places are allocated on a first come first served basis so completely democratically. The only other local working mother I know has an equally complicated juggle to source and get to good childcare. There are no spare days at the local nursery and many of the children there come from homes where the mother isn't out to work.

I fully believe that each child has the right to good nursery provision. I know that looking after a child/children full time is bl$$dy hard work and women need and deserve a respite. On the other hand in the current situation part of me does feel that working mothers should be given some form of priority when it comes to nursery places. Is that very wrong??!

Yes I'm afraid YABU! It's a business and their policy is first come first served

Can you not learn to drive?

Yes it's wrong. Couldn't you organise it in advance?

YABU

Nursery isn't all about babysitting, it's also about socialisation etc

And what happens if you give up your job or get made redundant?

yes, yabu

Learn to drive

Nursery is not just a convenience for working parents...it's for the DC to help them develop and learn. So why should a child get precedence over another just because there parents both work?

I hear what you are saying but you don't know what goes on in the houses of the assumed SAHMs. There could be a long term illness, Mum could have her own business that you don't know about, she may be caring for an elderly relative. Loads of reasons, many of which you might want to keep private. Its not just a case of WM busy out of house - SAHM stays at home. YABU.

Their...not THERE. Doh!

I think you're right; I didn't go out to work, and my children didn't go to nursery. We did preschool for about a year I think, which was only half days a few times a week.

I fully respect the right of working parents to have access to really good childcare because I hate the idea of the shite nurseries you see and hear about (I have been to one, yikes it was awful)

I'd willingly let someone who had a job to go to take my child's place. Though once the child is settled it would be unkind to renege on their place - that would be my one problem with it, say the parent left work or lost their job.

Yes and for DC development!

Well, theoretically, that is how it works here in Australia. Parents who are working or studying get priority. But they are not going to kick out a SAHM's kids to make room for yours.

Good point about some SAHMs needing the nursery provision equally badly.

I was fortunate not to.
It would get complicated wouldn't it. But I've never thought I needed them to go somewhere else while I was at home and could fit them into my life.

Priority? Oh of course all sahm sit on their arses watching Jeremy kyle while spending their husbands hard earned wages online, silly me.

Perhaps they are busy to and need the place as much as you do?

It seems like a good idea, but how would you do it? Would full-time working single mums be at the top? What if your OH wasn't working, would the working mum still have priority over SAHMs? What if you were part-time but had awkward shifts - would that raise your priority level. If all the places were taken by working mums, would you then prioritise by job worthiness? How about if you were a nurse or doctor - would that make your job more worthy than if you were a banker? What about disabled or long-term sick mums?
It would be a nightmare!

There aren't any other options mumbling to consider - we've explored them very very thoroughly! And cookcleanerchauffeur I have indeed tried to learn to drive - three times in fact involving a lot of time and money and ultimately unsucessfully.

Finally - if I give up my job (we can't afford that) or I get made redundant then we will be in serious financial difficulty.

I worked for a charity where at times when famillies were strugging (think terminal illness, disabilitym, bereavemeant etc) we placed children in nurseries as a support, we had to deal with waiting lists same as anyone.

Mor recently my own son's SN assessment was delayed until he had spent time in a nursery aplcement as it is considered developmentally advatageous.

Here in my city (have moved) every school has a preschool as part of it that offer 2.5 hours free per weekday during last year before FT eduation; therefore nurseries as such are used mainly by working aprents. Probablt works better.

To me, it's more for the child if you are a SAHM.....I mean, I wouldnt bother sending mine if I didnt think it was imortant preparation for her reception year at school ext year. I would be LIVID if I were told that I was at he back of the queue because I am at home!

I can see what you mean but it would be impossible. Can you cycle to the CM if you can't drive?

Plus the local universities make their cash not from WOHM but the student aprents at the lcoal university where would they sit in terms of entitlement?

And a fuckingknackeredwoman - did you actually read the content of my post?? I don't think so!!

oh this is so annoying I have to come back to it!

it's a business, you pay to buy someone's services, in this case 'childcare'. like any other business, it's not rationed according to whether you work or not

if you mean the free govt places, they're not a babysitting service!! it's free because the govt thinks children develop better if from 3+ they go to nursery part time, not cos they want to make life easier for working parents (cos 3 hours a day is not hugely helpful for most job patterns is it?)

The needs of the child should be the priority, not the employment status of their parents.

Why should a child lose their nursery place just because you can't or won't drive?

I did read it. just because they can afford not to work doesn't mean they are doing nothing all day.

YANBU. I live in a very big town and the childcare situation for 0-2 here is mad. I had to choose and sign up DS for nursery 4 months before he was born to have a hope of getting him a place in time for me to go back to work over a year later. We didn't even know if he was a boy or a girl so we had to leave the name, D.O.B. and health details blank until he was born! As it is, the nursery is on the other side of town so I have to drive a triangle to get him there, then me to work, then pick him up, and get home again. His nursery is now fully subscribed until 2013, including the baby room

I would never expect a child to be booted out to make room for a child whose parents were going back to work, but I do think it would be sensible to have a quota of places reserved for children of working parents. It would also be sensible if nurseries for 0-2 had staggered start dates so that children born in, say, March, could be registered to start nursery in January the following year, and so on, with no pre-birth registrations.