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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have bought a birthday present in the sale?

208 replies

artigiano · 19/09/2011 11:51

I bought my two year old niece a pure silk and beaded dress from John Lewis for her birthday. It is exactly the sort of dress she would wear. I also bought one for my own DD2 whose birthday is around the same time because I thought they were so gorgeous. DD1 and I spent an hour choosing those dresses together. They were in the sale and were originally £40 and I bought them for £20 each. To be honest, I wouldn't have wanted to spend any more since I feel that children of that age outgrow clothes so quickly and it seems wasteful to spend more on something they will wear a handful of times (and will probably stain immediately).

My mother then speaks to me, very upset indeed and tells me that my brother and sister in law have asked her to pass on a message that they wish me to return the dress since they don't like their children wearing"discount" clothes. My sister in law had actually made the effort to go to the shop to check how much I had spent!!! If I had spent the full £40, the present would have been acceptable to her.

I feel so upset and humiliated.

I just buy their children things that I would buy my own and that I think they would like. In fact , I usually buy their daughter what I have bought my own DD2 for her birthday.

I quite often buy my own children things I have bought in the sale: I gave my DD1 a bag (reduced to £20) from the Cath Kidston sale for her birthday. Again, this is something I would not have bought full price.

To make matters worse, my brother and sister in law have bought my DC some pretty horrible things (eg a bizarre candle making set designed for adults) and did not acknowledge my DD1's spring birthday this year at all. I have never said anything to them and tbh this doesn't bother me. i always accept presents with a thanks and a smile, always. It is just basic good manners isn't it?

Was I unreasonable to have bought a birthday present in the sale? Should I have spent more? I feel so humiliated. I can't face seeing them. What shall I do now?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 19/09/2011 17:45

They are total idiots for paying full price. Mire money than sense obviously

mumnotmachine · 19/09/2011 17:49

They are very rude.

Maybe next year just stuff a tatty £5 note in a cheap card.
Seems like your efforts arent appreciated

AuntiePickleBottom · 19/09/2011 17:56

i would of been thrilled that someone had spent £20 on my DC.

my nieces and nephews get alot cheaper gift on there birthday ( i have 11 all together)

they should be ashamed of themselves.

A little part of me is wondering if they don't like the girls dressing in the same clothes

smileyfacestar · 19/09/2011 18:01

They said what?! Who do they think they are exactly? I agree with others by saying you should return the dress and then spend the money on yourself. I think your mother should have told them to get lost too! Don't bother buying for them in the future. How incredible!

NestaFiesta · 19/09/2011 18:09

OP- what was your mum's stance on this?

Acekicker · 19/09/2011 18:17
Shock

Get the clothes back off them, do a £10 Oxfam gift in your niece's name and use the £5 to buy something loud and battery operated. Buy new batteries, put them in and then superglue the compartment shut, if you can accidentally glue the on switch in place just before you give it to them so much the better Grin

Then tell give them the left over fiver and tell them to buy themselves a fucking grip!

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 19/09/2011 18:21

OP - you won't find anyone on here who thinks YABU

Faced with such amazingly rude behaviour, it's perhaps natural you should feel confused, but DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 19/09/2011 18:23

I agree with Acekicker - a GoodGifts or Oxfam gift in their daughters name might get the message over. Buy them a toilet or something

AKMD · 19/09/2011 18:37

YANBU, they are mad very rude. I would send them the receipt and let them sort it out. As this isn't your DN's fault, I would continue to buy her nice presents but not your brother or SIL.

There is no problem with buying presents in the sale. I have bought most of my Christmas presents in the sales throughout the year and I know the recipients will like them (or at least won't be rude enough to say they don't like them!). I always take the price bit of the tag off ayway so they wouldn't know unless they were mad eno0ugh to check with the shop. When I was growing up, if I was given a present that was inappropriate or I just didn't like I still knew to say thankyou and smile and act like it was the best thing I'd ever received ever. Because that's what normal, well-brought-up people do. The only time it is acceptable to say that a present isn't suitable is if it's clothes in the wrong size, and then you bend over backwards to say how much you like the present but please could you have a gift reciept to swap it for the same thing in your size. That is it.

WiiUnfit · 19/09/2011 18:44

Another idea would be those body paint crayon things. I remember reading a thread on here about a MNers DC's who had stained green willies & blue eyelids or similar Grin

TheBolter · 19/09/2011 18:45

I'm slightly traumatised by the rudeness of your brother and sil, OP! I didn't realise such c*nts existed, tbh.

StealthPolarBear · 19/09/2011 18:49

Go and buy something awful for £20. Then give it to them sayinf you hope they're happy as obviously it's the money that counts and this was full price

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 19/09/2011 18:53

What do they do if they buy full price clothes that then end up in the sale at a later date? Do they chuck them out in case someone thinks they got them for £5 less in the sale?

Mental, the pair of them.

One reason I've always loved having a January birthday is that people could get me decent presents from the January sales. My brother, and his rubbish November birthday, was always very jealous Grin

YANBU to buy a gift in the sales. Don't give into this weird lunacy.

OracleInaCoracle · 19/09/2011 18:56

Op, I never pay full price for anything. Ds's birthday present this year was a second hand ds. One of the old models.

Your brother and his wife are being utter cunts and don't deserve to have you in their lives. Its not you, its them.

I'm actually horrified.

TidyDancer · 19/09/2011 19:05

It's rare I am totally shocked by something on MN. This is just incredible!

They are rude bastards and should be told so.

Don't take that present back, and buy charity gifts only from now onwards.

I feel so sorry for you that you are related to such unimaginably rude arseholes.

scottishmummy · 19/09/2011 19:19

how nit picky to go check price of gift received.
rude and graspy to have an idea of how much they expect spent on a present
what you bought sounds lovely.get a refund or keep dress if it is your dd size

its a shame a genuinely nice act and nice gift has been undermined and belittled like this

and i do of course look for bnwt sale when shopping for pressie, makes good sense to

butterflyexperience · 19/09/2011 19:26

Tell them to take their head out of ones arse...

How bloody rude of them! Angry

thefirstMrsDeVere · 19/09/2011 19:40

Make a dontation to Clicsargent cancer care for children in your nieces name for her birthday. They will get a nice card explaining what the money will be spent on.

If you do that I will match it.

Ungrateful fuckers.

I never pay full price for anything and my DNs think I am the coolest present buyer in the world. So ner.

notsofastmrbond · 19/09/2011 19:52

Well obv YANBU.

Also, when I received a present from a friend for my PFB she said "I got you two, because they were in the sale" and I said "wtf???!!"

notsofastmrbond · 19/09/2011 19:52

I should explain - wtf because one would have sufficed. Or none!

notsofastmrbond · 19/09/2011 19:53

If you do what the mrsDV says I will match it too (have read your story MrsDV)

FabbyChic · 19/09/2011 19:56

Why did you even tell the how much it costs?

Oh and don't wish to piss on your parade but I hate kids getting clothes as presents.

Should be toys at a young age. Only Teens like clothes.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 19/09/2011 19:58

That isnt true.

My boys LOVE getting clothes and so did my DD.

What an odd generalization to make.

Thank you notsofast Smile

Haribojoe · 19/09/2011 20:01

What complete arses, trawl the shops for the loudest toy possible, maybe some type of drum or trumpet. Grin