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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to start to go to church even though I dont believe in God?

175 replies

severnofnine · 18/09/2011 14:29

DH thinks I am BU, but I can't decide
I took the children and dog for a walk before lunch. We live in a small village and even though we've been here for 5 yrs we are still the "new people". I work during the week but our children go to the local school and we have some friends from there. anyway on our dog walk I met a lovely lady church warden she invited us in to the church show us a display some of the children had done.
And now I feel like I'd like to go next week. The only problem is I'm a very scientifically minded rational person. I dont believe there is a bloke somewhere sitting on a cloud directing us. I dont believe in god. I went to church when I was little with my grandmother but my parents werent particularly religious. I wasn't christened neither were my children. I got married at a registry office.

So does that make me a major hypocrite for wanting to go to church, feel like a part of a community, do a bit of singing???Confused? DH wont go- definitely not, but wouldnt mind if i took the children.

am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MrsGaff · 18/09/2011 14:31

YANBU. I don't see the harm.

AgentZigzag · 18/09/2011 14:32

I don't know what kind of church it is (C of E?) but it's there for whatever you need it for, no barriers should be put on anyone attending.

snice · 18/09/2011 14:32

I think you're allowed! Seriously, why not go along and see what you think- if its not for you it'll soon become obvious and you'll stop going. They won't ask you to commit to anything

GypsyMoth · 18/09/2011 14:32

This time next week you will have forgotten all about it! It's just because you visited today , you feel all churchy, it won't last once a bit of RL has kicked in

And you will lose any lie ins

I used to teach Sunday school, not many stuck around after initial curiosity wore off

GypsyMoth · 18/09/2011 14:33

You'll be on that flower arranging rota before you know it!!

Meglet · 18/09/2011 14:33

yanbu. I was christened and went to church as a child but I'm not sure I believe in God.

I take the kids about once a month.

FWIW it's nice to have a bit of religion in our lives, I'm a bit of an old hippy as I 'believe' in all religions.

belgo · 18/09/2011 14:34

There are plenty of scientifically minded rational people who believe in God. This is because science does not explain everything.

Of course you are welcome to go to the church.

BlowHole · 18/09/2011 14:35

I'm thinking about starting to go to church, just for the singing, I love singing hymns, but I'm not religious at all. I'm not usually hypocritical either though Blush

PattySimcox · 18/09/2011 14:35

I e

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo · 18/09/2011 14:35

I'm a churchgoer and I'd be totally happy to have someone like you come in and do a bit of singing and drink some coffee. You'd only be a hypocrite if you went in and announced you loved Jesus.

'The church is the only club that exists for the benefit of it's non-members' (according to some archbish or other).

PattySimcox · 18/09/2011 14:35

Sorry cat climbed on laptop!

KAZAMM · 18/09/2011 14:36

If you want to go then I can't see anything wrong but what will you say when the regular congregation ask who you go but don't believe in God?

Are you going so that you feel more included in the community because I think that shows you're making a real effort and I hope they appreciate that.

SardineQueen · 18/09/2011 14:38

YANBU go along Smile

Lots of people go to church for things like the hymns, sermon, time for reflection, fellowship, getting involved in the community, all sorts of reasons.

If it's CofE then you will be welcome I'm sure.

Go for it. If you only go sporadically that is fine too.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/09/2011 14:40

If it's the typical C of E, I think you'll find most of the congregation feel the same way but go through the motions because they like the ritual and the coffee mornings. Then again, the reason I don't go to church any more was because I met some quite odd people who were very posessive about 'their manor'... and one in particular that made me realise that I was an atheist. Good luck

Gissabreak · 18/09/2011 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

picnicbasketcase · 18/09/2011 14:41

You've been invited. YANBU to go.

Bunbaker · 18/09/2011 14:42

How will you know what it is all about unless you do go? Like you I think very rationally and logically. I was never an atheist, but spent most of my life being agnostic. No-one knows for sure whether God exists or not, it is simply a matter of faith. I have always taken the view that for so many millions of people around the world to believe in a higher being that there must be something in it. I can't believe that all these people are uneducated and gullible.
Incidentally most of the congregation in our church are well educated professionals capable of rational thought.

I applaud your open mindedness and think you should give it a try.

Original poster
severnofnine · 18/09/2011 14:43

thanks for your replies....
I think i would be honest if people asked if I believed in God I would be honest and say I dont know..... a bit like Meglet I "believe" in all religions.

we werent married in church as I dint want to be a hypocrite!

arrgghh hopefully by next week I willl have forgotten about it !

OP posts:
begonyabampot · 18/09/2011 14:44

Church was always the centre of a community, it showed be open to all as long as tolerance and respect is shown, maybe even more important in smaller more cut off communities.

DamselInDisarray · 18/09/2011 14:45

I'm jot religious at all and have no desire to be, but I really can see the appeal of all the community aspects of regular church attendance.

If you want to go along next week, the you should. You'll be made very welcome and will be under no obligation to go back if you decide it's not for you.

NonnoMum · 18/09/2011 14:46

I think no -one will ask you twenty questions about exactly what you believe.

But, they will hopefully welcome you, you might start to feel more a part of the community, you will have time to reflect and be quiet in your busy life, you will have time to have a coffee afterwards and a quick chat about how your week has been, and it sure beats car boot sales or B and Q for a Sunday activity...

No one knows for definite if there is a man on a cloud, but all the stuff about being honest, helping each other out, being non-judgmental isn't such a bad thing, is it?

And if your kids learn a few hymns with harmonies, isn't that better than just singing along to Rihanna?

DamselInDisarray · 18/09/2011 14:47

I sincerely doubt if anyone will ever ask you if you believe in god or not. Why would they?

Original poster
severnofnine · 18/09/2011 14:47

and bunbaker I didnt mean to imply that I thought people with a faith were gullible.... more that I dont believe in things like creation or even in heaven/ hell or an afterlife ( but I do think there is a human "spirit" when people are alive).

OP posts:
SevenAgainstThebes · 18/09/2011 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SardineQueen · 18/09/2011 14:51

I have been in a lot of churches (raised a catholic, went to convent school, now attend local CofE sometimes) and no-one has ever asked me anything about religion Grin

I think it highly unlikely that anyone will approach you and start quizzing you on your beliefs.

The reason I go now is that the DDs love the sunday school, and I find the whole thing rather therapeutic.

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