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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't use the lift unless you actually need to?

346 replies

Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:18

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in. In this particular store they also have escalators and stairs between the floors, but the escalators are too narrow to safely get a pram up them, and I don't think it's reasonable to heave a pram up a flight of stairs. The escalators and stairs (which are next to each other) are at the front of the store, easy to find, easy to see, and if you are able bodied and not pushing a pushchair or carrying a heavy load, quite safe to use.

So WHY when I go to find the lift (which is at the back of the store, and I had to actually look at the signs to find it as I've never taken it before) do I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine as they shoved past me to get in the lift before me so that it was then too full for me to go in, and I then had to wait again for the lift to come back.

Would it not be reasonable for me to expect that once they saw someone who actually needed the lift, they should have either let me go first or walked the 30 metres or so to the escalators or stairs and gone up them instead?

I know I have no 'right' or 'claim' over the lift, but wouldn't it be the decent thing to not use the lift unless you had to, especially when there are people waiting who don't really have another option but to use it.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 27/08/2011 23:20

yabu...,..but then of course,life should stop for the rest of us because there is a PRAM which needs to be accomadated Hmm

Garcia10 · 27/08/2011 23:21

Can't comment on stairs but some people have real phobias of escalators (my sister being one).

I don't think it is too much of hardship for you to wait for the next lift regardless of whether you feel more 'entitled'. YABU. First come, first served.

squeakytoy · 27/08/2011 23:22

They were rude to shove past you, and should have waited their turn, but it is not unreasonable for them to use the lift rather than stairs or escalators. Some people have fear of heights, dont like escalators.. some people may look fit and healthy but are not able to climb stairs.

There is no excuse for rude behaviour though.

cheesespread · 27/08/2011 23:22

they shouldnt have shoved past you that was totally rude,suppose its up to them tho if they wanna use the lift

ZillionChocolate · 27/08/2011 23:22

YABU. Travelling between floors in John Lewis is far from being a fundamental human right. Presumably people are willing to queue for a lift rather than take an escalator because it's their preferred option.

herbietea · 27/08/2011 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GodzillasBumcheek · 27/08/2011 23:23

They could have been courteous and let you go first, yes.

But they could have just walked several miles or just be having a really crappy day, and not want to let you in front. Who knows?

I refuse to answer whether yabu or not I'm too tired!

BimboNo5 · 27/08/2011 23:25

YABU for saying 'now im a mummy' bleuurrrgh get over yourself!

KnickersOnOnesHead · 27/08/2011 23:25

YABU. I have lost count the amount of times I have heaved a buggy with a then newborn ds and a 15 month old dd up the escalators/stairs.

GiveMeStrength2day · 27/08/2011 23:25

If there are escalators available then possibly fair enough. However, personally, if my only option is lift or stairs, I have to take the lift because even though I appear to be able to walk absolutely fine, due to the arthritis (and botched arthroscopy) in my knees I try to avoid stairs. I now have DD and usually have her buggy with me but a few years back a woman actually told me I shouldn't be using the lift - she did have the grace to blush and bluster when I told her why I do use it!

Bohica · 27/08/2011 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

WibblyBibble · 27/08/2011 23:26

YANBU. Of course people who need the lift (wheelchair and pushchair/pram users, or physically disabled people) should take priority. It's just as bad as people using disabled parking spaces illegally when people use other resources they don't need (and yes, parents are as entitled to special provisions for their needs as anyone else, including disabled people). You have the right to adaptations for your current needs and that includes lifts- people who don't need a lift shouldn't be stealing that. They are lazy fucks.

HotSummerNights · 27/08/2011 23:27

I use lifts because I hate escalators, but I do let the disabled and parents with prams go before me.

Birdsgottafly · 27/08/2011 23:27

What ILT said and;
I am sick of having arguements with people because they think they have the right to make comments about "people to lazy to use the escalators". I have low blood pressure. i have to do alot of shopping when i shop because i don't get time off work that co-insides when my DD's are off school. If you are happy with people fainting on escalators on top of your DC, once they are walking, then YANBU.

Lifts were added for ease of access between floors not just to accomadate prams. Every shop had to have one after the Disability Discrimination Act came in, 1995.

Granted we should all possibly adopt more thought for others, especially those thinking that they can look at someone and tell whether they need to use the lift.

helibee · 27/08/2011 23:27

They shouldn't have shoved past you. However I mostly use a wheelchair, occasionally I don't and I would always use the lift, but I don't have a disability which you could tell by looking at me so you may or may not be unreasonable. All the John Lewis's I've ever been in have a central bank of 3 or 4 lifts next to each other so it's never been a problem of waiting for one.

AgentZigzag · 27/08/2011 23:28

YABU, you can't expect me to take the stairs at my age Shock

I've just fucking hit 40 FFS Hmm

Original poster
Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:29

I see your points about the phobias, but I just found it a bit rude tbh. It wasn't the only time it happened either, whilst on another floor there was actually a lady in a wheelchair waiting and a queue of other standing people waiting for the lift, they just completely ignored her and went in anyway, so she had to wait again.

I just think it seems a bit sad :(

OP posts:
Garcia10 · 27/08/2011 23:29

WibblyBibble (stupid name btw) - perhaps the other family had a member with a disability which wasn't apparent. They were in the queue before the OP and therefore took priority. As mentioned before - it isn't too much of a hardship to wait for the next lift. To call them lazy fucks is ignorant and abusive.

TeamEdward · 27/08/2011 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblesincoffee · 27/08/2011 23:29

yabu to think that other people shouldn't use the lift because they choose to. My children love going in lifts, but they are more than capable of walking up the stairs.

Of course people shouldn't shove past you, but they shouldn't do that anywhere.

You have no more right to use the lift than anyone else, and you have no right to go ahead of people in a lift queue just because you have a pram.

BimboNo5 · 27/08/2011 23:30

Bullshit are parents as entitled to special provisions as disabled people! Christ on a bike it really gets my goat when people try to put squeezing a baby out of your fanjo on a par with having a disability

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 27/08/2011 23:31

YANBU. There is even a sign up in John Lewis (well ours anyway) asking customers to give priority to those with wheelchairs and prams in letting them use the lift.

And the middle aged cows in Gap today could have gone down the stairs instead of waiting nearly 5 minutes for the lift. They looked at me like this Hmm when I came in behind them with the buggy (small lift). I really don't understand why they didn't just use the stairs - if I haven't got the buggy with me then stairs are much quicker and easier.

lostinwales · 27/08/2011 23:31

They should not have pushed past you but if they had a family like mine it's very hard to judge, I have an NT looking boy who freaks at escalators and stairs if they show him the height they are going (he's ASD) and I have severe degenerative arthritis which means standing can be evil let alone walking an extra 10 meters. We are all different even if we look the same on the outside, although pushing past is unforgivable.

ChippingIn · 27/08/2011 23:31

WibbleBibble - they are not 'stealing' anything - don't be such a drama queen ffs

OP - you have no idea why they were using the lift and even if they just wanted to, that's life. They are there for those that wish to use them, you don't actually need a pass for it Hmm

Of course it was rude of them if they pushed you out of the way.

Bohica · 27/08/2011 23:32

Happy birthday to you
Happpy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Agent you old dear who needs to use a lift sometimes
Happy birthday to you.

Mawahhh