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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't use the lift unless you actually need to?

346 replies

Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:18

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in. In this particular store they also have escalators and stairs between the floors, but the escalators are too narrow to safely get a pram up them, and I don't think it's reasonable to heave a pram up a flight of stairs. The escalators and stairs (which are next to each other) are at the front of the store, easy to find, easy to see, and if you are able bodied and not pushing a pushchair or carrying a heavy load, quite safe to use.

So WHY when I go to find the lift (which is at the back of the store, and I had to actually look at the signs to find it as I've never taken it before) do I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine as they shoved past me to get in the lift before me so that it was then too full for me to go in, and I then had to wait again for the lift to come back.

Would it not be reasonable for me to expect that once they saw someone who actually needed the lift, they should have either let me go first or walked the 30 metres or so to the escalators or stairs and gone up them instead?

I know I have no 'right' or 'claim' over the lift, but wouldn't it be the decent thing to not use the lift unless you had to, especially when there are people waiting who don't really have another option but to use it.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
joric · 28/08/2011 20:32

Mighty, I agree with your last post. Most able bodied people would benefit from walking rather than taking an escalator/ lift.
Of course it's healthier. But it is a choice and people don't like being forced to do things they don't want to do.
I think the OP has negative responses because she seems to think she should take presidence over others because she has a pushchair.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 28/08/2011 20:35

I have not read the whole tread but, YABU to believe that just because someone is standing they do not have a disability.

CurrySpice · 28/08/2011 20:45

Which gets us back to the question, MightQuim, of how you know who can and cannot use the stairs?

CurrySpice · 28/08/2011 20:46

And to be honest, with that kind of supercillious attitude, I'd take the lift just to spite you Wink

cantspel · 28/08/2011 20:48

Get yourself a sling, put baby in it and then YOU can use the stairs.

joric · 28/08/2011 20:49

:o curry

microserf · 28/08/2011 20:54

i think the OP is getting a really hard time. i get REALLY fucked off when the lifts are full of people who can take the bloody stairs or escalator. FFS, people in wheelchairs and people with prams can't - they should get priority.

there are some nasty posters on this thread IMO saying the OP has a precious attitude because she has a buggy. FFS, have you ever tried to get around a large shop with a buggy? the lifts should be prioritized for people who CAN'T use the stairs or escalators.

and yes, i also completely judge the lazy bastards who take the lift one or two floors when they can just as easily take the stairs. get. your. arse. moving.

CurrySpice · 28/08/2011 20:56

So microserf, do you check everyone's "I have the right to use this lift" licence when you get in? Hmm

Sirzy · 28/08/2011 20:57

Who are you to decide who can and can't use the lift Microseft? do you know everyones medical history as to why they want to use it?

MightyQuim · 28/08/2011 20:59

You don't know from looking at someone whether they can use the stairs or not. But I do think that people who use wheelchairs, people with pushchairs and people who have difficulty using stairs for whatever reason should have priority where lifts are concerned. Obviously there's no way of enforcing it other than encouraging courteous behaviour with polite notices etc - some people will always be selfish.
I the same way I think that people should stand up on buses for those who are less able to stand but I couldn't go pointing the finger at people because, as has been said many times on this thread, disabilities aren't always immediately (if at all) visible. It wouldn't change the fact that I think that standing for people less able to stand that yourself is the right thing to do.

Sirzy · 28/08/2011 21:01

They should get priority to an extent. But I refuse to stand and wait for the lift to go past 3 or 4 times just because wheelchairs/pushchairs have arrived while I have been waiting!!

MightyQuim · 28/08/2011 21:04

Well if you NEED to use the lift Sirzy then you shouldn't be giving anyone priority. And if you don't need to use the lift you would be up the stairs/escalator in the time you would have waited for the lift to go past 3 or 4 times.

CurrySpice · 28/08/2011 21:06

Of course it's the right thing to do Quim. Nobody disagrees with that

What gets my goat is people labelling everyone in a lift who isn't in a wheelchair or pushing a pushchair as "lazy bastards"

Sirzy · 28/08/2011 21:06

But I don't look like I need to use a lift so I assume I would fall into the category the OP would judge for not moving so her pram can come through.

Generally I will let prams/wheelchairs go first. But when its someone tutting about others using lifts (which does happen - normally with a "lazy young people" comment) then I am damned if I am letting them go first!!

MightyQuim · 28/08/2011 21:09

Well Sirzy if you need to use the lift I wouldn't be giving anyone priority tutting or not!

BimboNo5 · 28/08/2011 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

BimboNo5 · 28/08/2011 21:13

And no Microserf, im sure NOBODY has ever pushed a buggy around a large shop Hmm

RedHotPokers · 28/08/2011 21:15

Another one here who hasn't read the whole thread, but seriously OP, get over yourself!

Are you really so frantically busy that you can't wait 1 minute for another lift?
Why in god's name do people have to be so bloody self-involved all the time!

What if you were waiting for the lift in JL on a weekday lunchtime, and there were other people waiting for the lift who were similarily self-involved, and perhaps wondered why you didn't just wait for the next lift and let them go first because after all you are probably on ML and have all the time in the world, whilst they only have their lunchbreak to do everything. Would you feel okay about this????

In fact, perhaps we should have a ranking system for EVERY aspect of society. A long list in carparks, at lifts, in queues, in public toilets, which states in full detail exactly who takes precedent at all times, with a ranking. We could then all be assigned numbers, and then the people who REALLY are the most deserving won't EVER lose out. Yes, that should sort everything out, and make AIBU almost redundant........

OR we could just chill out, accept that not everything goes our own way, but generally attempt to do unto others......

BleurghUna · 28/08/2011 21:16

Lifts are for anyone to use, if you don't like waiting for the lift then you should go shopping at a quiet time, avoiding Saturdays and lunchtimes. IF you are a stay at home mummy with a new baby then presumably you don't need to shop at the busiest times?

Mumwithadragontattoo · 28/08/2011 21:29

I think lifts are first come first served. But it is polite to give way to people who would struggle on stairs or escalators, including disabled people and those with prams, if you could easily manage yourself.

LessonsinL · 28/08/2011 21:30

YANBU. People are lazy and not always disabled.

DoubleDegreeStudent · 28/08/2011 21:32

Oh how absurd. OP YABU and this was thoroughly predictable. For what it's worth, I am 21 and all of my arms, legs and other body parts are apparently in fine working order. They are not. I have had surgery on my kidneys and my hips and cannot walk far/stand for very long. This is made worse in various circumstances, for example walking on shiny department store flooring (I have to tense my joints to stop from slipping). I have a limp, but if I'm carrying bags it normally just looks like I can't cope with the weight of them. If there's a wheelchair waiting for a lift and one arrives, I would give them priority. If there's a pushchair, depending on my mood then I may or may not give them priority. Yes, I can take the stairs. Yes, I can take an escalator. But I also have a mild phobia (don't laugh) because when I was younger I tripped, fell down some stairs and hurt my hip again and ripped a tendon in my foot. My thighs are disproportionately large for my body due to surgery damaging the muscles, so I probably do just look fat and lazy.

I reserve the right to do what I want when shopping. I also respect your right to judge other people. Frankly, I don't care. I suggest next time you simply say "I'm sorry, I have a pushchair. Could you not shove past me". And who knows, if it's me you say it to (although I wouldn't have shoved), I might just take advantage of our lift ride together to show you my various scars.

AuntieMaggie · 28/08/2011 23:40

Love the judgeyness on this thread about whether people should use the stairs or not Hmm

You can't tell by looking at someone whether they are fit enough to use the stairs. I know lots of people with serious illnesses that don't look ill.

You'd probably judge me too without knowing my medical history or the fact that I lost half my hand in an escalator once so don't use them now...

Flowerista · 28/08/2011 23:50

Do you know I am relatively new to this forum, but wasnt this exact rant posted about 2 months ago?

Marshy · 28/08/2011 23:50

You are not the lift police! They are for everyone.