To think that you shouldn't use the lift unless you actually need to?

[Ems101]

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in. In this particular store they also have escalators and stairs between the floors, but the escalators are too narrow to safely get a pram up them, and I don't think it's reasonable to heave a pram up a flight of stairs. The escalators and stairs (which are next to each other) are at the front of the store, easy to find, easy to see, and if you are able bodied and not pushing a pushchair or carrying a heavy load, quite safe to use.

So WHY when I go to find the lift (which is at the back of the store, and I had to actually look at the signs to find it as I've never taken it before) do I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine as they shoved past me to get in the lift before me so that it was then too full for me to go in, and I then had to wait again for the lift to come back.

Would it not be reasonable for me to expect that once they saw someone who actually needed the lift, they should have either let me go first or walked the 30 metres or so to the escalators or stairs and gone up them instead?

I know I have no 'right' or 'claim' over the lift, but wouldn't it be the decent thing to not use the lift unless you had to, especially when there are people waiting who don't really have another option but to use it.

Am I being unreasonable?

Flowerista There are regular threads about people who aren't obviously disabled "taking advantage of" a variety of things, usually at the "detriment" of a mum with a pram.

I think there's a timer somewhere telling people it's time for one of these threads.

Actually Empusa I think the posts that kick off these threads are written by a computer (as in 1984) which posts them at random intervals :o

Andrew Yes, definitely

Just out of interest, after we remove the entitlement, how to you know who needs to use it? My friend has a heart condition and while she appears young and fit and healthy, she tends to take lifts because she gets out of breath walking several flights of steps and has got dizzy on escalators. You wouldn't be able to 'tell' by looking much as some disabilities and difficulties can't be seen.

All that aside you are being both unreasonable and reasonable. Unreasonable because baby or no baby, you are not entitled to anything- i agree it's annoying (to me personally) when people do look like they could take the stairs (and again that's assuming by the both of us) and you are waiting longer stuck with baby and unable to use the other options- but you are still showing entitlement.

YANBU to be PO because they were rude and shoved you out the way when they should have waited their turn.

i think its fine for anyone to use a lift but i do hate it when too many people crowd in because they can not be bothered to wait till the next one, i have even been tutted and commented at because i could not move my pram over any more, told them where the hell would you like me to put it, i also hate the people who use the auto doors, when they can easily push a door open, have stood there ages while everyone piles in and out of them, and rude people who climb over the front of my pushchair, because they can not wait while i try and move out of the way, although i do lift the front wheel up slightly as they are half way across people can be so rude, i would never climb over the front of someones pram and always hold the door open for the next person even with a pushchair and 4 kids in tow, the amount of doors that slam in front of me is unreal and you know what the people who are the worst for comments, tutts etc are the older people my mum included. and trays with hot drinks carried over kids heads in cafes, sorry rant over

What a lovely example of the vile side of humanity. Personally op I think you are too nice to bother with this site.

Too many vicious bullies come here to bother trying to be considerate. I mean god forbid being proud of being a parent. Just cause others can't stand their kids or being parents.

No wonder there were so many kids looting. As for entitlement op, I'd just push through first, since it'd be the bullies here who'd miss out on being allowed first go.

"No wonder there were so many kids looting."

Yes, all those kids looting because people don't think having a baby automatically means having to go first in a lift

did people really loot over a place in a lift??

Haha! What a deliciously ironic post LithaR

Ignoring the frankly ridiculous looting comment I think you will find most on here are proud of there children, but that doesn't mean we EXPECT the whole world to change for us and that we all of a sudden become more important.

The op stated the other family were already at the lift so they are 'entitled' to get on first surely? Or are only people with prams entitled to things?

Only if there was a JJB Sports at the top of it 2shoes

Is this sister thread of the disabled parking one? Very similar attitude by the OP.

I generally use escalators or stairs. I use a sling, not a pram and often look at the queues for the lifts and thank my lucky stars I don't have to stand in them.

However, I occasionally nip into John Lewis when I happen to be in the area for work and it is only ever to go to the haberdashery on the 4th floor. I use the lift. I am generally in a hurry and it is far quicker to get the lift up 4 floors than to hike up the escalators.

If someone in a wheelchair or with obvious mobility issues was waiting behind me for a full lift I would let them go first because they have absolutely no option other than to use the stairs. However, I certainly wouldn't give way to a pram user or any other able-bodied person because there is absolutely no reason why having a pram entitles them to get to their destination any quicker than me. I suppose someone will say "aha! But being in a wheelchair doesn't entitle you to get there quicker either." The difference for me is that most disabilities are life-long difficulties and they make every day things much more problematic so I will always offer people with such difficulties absolute priority as I might only face such minor inconvenience once in a while while they might face it every day of their lives.

People with disabilities and mobility issues deserve to be able to participate in society on an equal setting to everyone else and that may require everyone around them to make minor concessions. An able-bodied parent with a pram does not face those same, regular bars to full involvement in everyday life and, as far as I am concerned, that puts them on an absolute equal footing with everyone else when it comes to things like queueing or use of facilities.

No I don't think YABU to complain about the fact these people pushed in front of you, the jist I got from the OP was that she was upset that these people pushed infront of her and a lady waiting in a wheelchair. I've actually been in our John Lewis on a busy weekend where they have had their staff acting as lift attendants (no i'm not joking! :s) & actually think it's a good idea if i'm honest.

I worked for many years for John Lewis- 3 large lifts, hardly ever any queues (apart from Christmas, of course). It's a very busy store too. The main problem we had were the stupid, dangerous, can't be arsed to find the lift ones who insisted on hauling prams up escalators. (The stairs were all 'behind the scenes', so only accessible if a customer specifically requested the, or during a ire drill).

I think I have completed a MN cycle and can now call myself a regular. Lifts, disabled parking, Staffy hate threads, cat shit in the garden. Not only do they live on an MN merry go round, they are all exactly the same.
I use lifts because I want to and don't need educating thank you dear. Being a "mummy" is a choice, having MS or any other mental or physical disability is not. That said, most wheelchair users I have encountered don't think they have priority anyway and I for one have never been frowned at in a lift by anyone apart from school gate Boden mummy.

YANBU to hope that others would let you and your pram into a lift before them, out of basic politeness, but YAtotallyU to start a thread in a twee 'now I'm a mummy' tone, before ripping it off, Scooby Doo mask style, to reveal the real thrust of your whinge, which is that you think John Lewis should operate a door policy on their lifts, and maybe have a personal trainer with a sharp stick hustling the fatties up the stairs for their own good.

Well you're not actually disabled either, and I'd assume waiting for the lift wouldn't actually kill you. Since you saw the family of 4 when you got to the lift I assume they were already there before you and had already been waiting to use it, so why should they wait some more just because you had now arrived with a pram? Trying to push into a queue rather than waiting your turn is actually quite rude, and makes you unreasonable.

I'm still at a total loss as to this part of the OP's post:

I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too)

A couple? A COUPLE?! Two people, one baby in a pram and the OP thinks it's "perfectly reasonable of course" for both of them to go in the lift juyst because they have a baby. One of them could have walked, freeing up more lift space or the pair of them could have carried the pram upstairs.

Erm....everyone is entitled to use a lift - you do not have to fill in a health or personal circumstances questionnaire first. There might be any number of 'good' reasons why someone wants to use it, or just 'because i feel like it today'.

It's just waiting for a lift - what's the big deal?!

buy a sling to put baby in, much easier