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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't use the lift unless you actually need to?

346 replies

Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:18

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in. In this particular store they also have escalators and stairs between the floors, but the escalators are too narrow to safely get a pram up them, and I don't think it's reasonable to heave a pram up a flight of stairs. The escalators and stairs (which are next to each other) are at the front of the store, easy to find, easy to see, and if you are able bodied and not pushing a pushchair or carrying a heavy load, quite safe to use.

So WHY when I go to find the lift (which is at the back of the store, and I had to actually look at the signs to find it as I've never taken it before) do I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine as they shoved past me to get in the lift before me so that it was then too full for me to go in, and I then had to wait again for the lift to come back.

Would it not be reasonable for me to expect that once they saw someone who actually needed the lift, they should have either let me go first or walked the 30 metres or so to the escalators or stairs and gone up them instead?

I know I have no 'right' or 'claim' over the lift, but wouldn't it be the decent thing to not use the lift unless you had to, especially when there are people waiting who don't really have another option but to use it.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Tortington · 28/08/2011 00:20

my mummy hasn't bought me any toys - please sent some money to custy custardo @ custylikesyourcash.com

GypsyMoth · 28/08/2011 00:20

Ds once queue jumped in first in front of a wheelchair and an elderly lady with a trolley type thing she was pushing

I was Shock

But he was holding the door hold button for them, it was our debenhams where the lifts are a bit quick to close, he knew this from a previous visit but I had no idea!!

2shoes · 28/08/2011 00:20

yep we were smoking in custys car in the lift with the vicar

Al0uiseG · 28/08/2011 00:21

You're all peasants. I summon the helicopter to transfer me between floors. Grin

FantasticDay · 28/08/2011 00:21

Taking a pram upstairs does tend to slow down everyone. Bumping up and downstairs makes the baby cry and ruins the chassis.

2shoes · 28/08/2011 00:21

ILoveTIFFANY cte, dd would have loved him

Unlurked · 28/08/2011 00:21

Get a sling. Or some patience.

Empusa · 28/08/2011 00:22

"Oh FFS Empusa, IME if they can walk unaided they're able bodied."

Great! I'm cured everyone!!!! I must go tell my doctor!

I've obviously imagined walking up stairs to be agony, being able to walk on flat/smooth/even ground proves it.

Thankyou! How can I ever repay you?

lettinggo · 28/08/2011 00:22

YAsoBU. Why shouldn't they use the lift? And how did they push past you if they were waiting there first? Get over yourself.

GypsyMoth · 28/08/2011 00:22

Ems....are you new to mn? From where?

garlicnutter · 28/08/2011 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

2shoes · 28/08/2011 00:22

CUSTARDO Sun 28-Aug-11 00:20:35
my mummy hasn't bought me any toys - please sent some money to custy custardo @ custylikesyourcash.com

DO NOT BELIEVE THIS, I SAW HE PLAYING WITH A OLD BOX EARLIER, SHE HAS TOYS

Tortington · 28/08/2011 00:23

sorry op, i was trying to make funnies rather than make you feel patronised.

in response to your op

if people are able bodied, ideally they shouldvnot use the lift.

but you could look at me and think i should use the stairs, but i mightbe having a really bad day with my asthma

whilst i am sure those other people annoyed you - i think its best to rub your ear lobes and say 'woooooooo sahhhhh' to yourself and if they didn't need the lift....well the universe will make bad things right

and if they did....you kept good temper and gave them the benefit of the doubt because you are a good person who thinks good things

peace and love

cheesesarnie · 28/08/2011 00:24

what would you like us to say?
simply yabu but no reasons given as to why
or
i disagree because youve no right over someone else just because you have a pram?

btw forgot to ask-buy anything nice?

LeBOF · 28/08/2011 00:24

I guess it's just first-come, first-served. The lift is there for everyone. If you were pushed past because you were actually ahead in the queue, YANBU. I'm not sure why you've been savaged though- maybe the becoming a mummy thing seems grating? It feels important to you, but other people have their own shit going on, and don't really care.

KatieMiddleton · 28/08/2011 00:25

Um, excuse me OP but you didn't need to take a pram. You chose to. Probably because it was more convenient than a sling for you to do your shopping.

It was also probably more convenient for the other family to use the lift where they were then walk all the way back to the shop (although they should not have pushed I believe it's possible they may have been in front of you as you've been rather quiet on that point?).

Yabu.

NightingaleSong · 28/08/2011 00:26

YABU - I am 40, healthy, fit and have no DCs, but I used the lift in John Lewis the other day to get to the 5th floor cos it was quick and convenient. It never occurred to me that I have less right to use it than anyone else. If there was a queue maybe that would have been different, but they're never that busy, people just squeeze in (around the huge prams that take up so much bloody space!)

hmc · 28/08/2011 00:27

Ems - don't take it MN too seriously, it really is a parallel universe. I have met noone in RL who corresponds to anything approximating many of the posters here (am a veteran of 8/9 years) ! 1st rule of thumb - never come onto mumsnet to share anything that genuinely bothers you, invariably you will get ...how can I put this charitably...wanky devils advocate responses. I tend to assume that a lot of posters who do this are a bit unhappy. Mn is a interesting and diverting time waster -nothing more. Seek genuine opinions / understanding from your friends...

Sillyoldelf · 28/08/2011 00:29

I have a nasty chronic illness. I am disabled but do not appear to be . I am also a parent. Nobody is forcing you to take your pram into town - I purposefully used a sling for those occasions . And you are sooo living in cloud cuckoo land if you think parents have or legally deserve the same rights as disabled people ! Tbh I would not dreeaam of shopping with my dc on a Saturday in John Lewis - because let's face it - buggies and prams are annoying to others when the shops are busy . It's a fact of life unfortunately just like lorries are annoying on a busy A road .

NorfolkBroad · 28/08/2011 00:30

It's possible to express an opinion without being nasty and personal. I agree with the OP but there are also many other good points raised here. How sad though to think that Ems might only have been on MN for a few days or never posted before and she gets all this abuse. I hope she isn't put off because there is some fantastic advice and support to be had here. Custardo I do think your last post was really lovely.

squeakytoy · 28/08/2011 00:30

What do we all think about automatic doors. Should people with an arm not use them. After all, they are more than capable of opening a door themselves. Grin

hmc · 28/08/2011 00:31

As far as I can recollect the lifts at my local John Lewis display a sign which says something to the effect of please give priority to wheelchair and pushchair users...

NorfolkBroad · 28/08/2011 00:32

very well said hmc though, many MN posters are very helpful and caring.

cheesesarnie · 28/08/2011 00:32

i think your all blardy lucky to live near a john lewis!

hmc · 28/08/2011 00:33

That's true Norfolk - just not many of them in evidence on this thread!