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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't use the lift unless you actually need to?

346 replies

Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:18

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in. In this particular store they also have escalators and stairs between the floors, but the escalators are too narrow to safely get a pram up them, and I don't think it's reasonable to heave a pram up a flight of stairs. The escalators and stairs (which are next to each other) are at the front of the store, easy to find, easy to see, and if you are able bodied and not pushing a pushchair or carrying a heavy load, quite safe to use.

So WHY when I go to find the lift (which is at the back of the store, and I had to actually look at the signs to find it as I've never taken it before) do I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine as they shoved past me to get in the lift before me so that it was then too full for me to go in, and I then had to wait again for the lift to come back.

Would it not be reasonable for me to expect that once they saw someone who actually needed the lift, they should have either let me go first or walked the 30 metres or so to the escalators or stairs and gone up them instead?

I know I have no 'right' or 'claim' over the lift, but wouldn't it be the decent thing to not use the lift unless you had to, especially when there are people waiting who don't really have another option but to use it.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 28/08/2011 00:34

I am drinking adult measures of gin OP, I must therefore be an adult.

QED innit?

And I'm not moving anywhere in case I miss a flounce.

I also agree with hmcs bloody good advice.

UsingMainlySpoons · 28/08/2011 00:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieMiddleton · 28/08/2011 00:36

squeaky I used to know someone who wouldn't use the automatic door button (which was basically essential to open the door unless Geoff Capes c. 1985) in case people saw him using it and thought he was depriving disabled people of it's use. Like it might run out or something Grin He was an arse

Fo0ffyShmoofer · 28/08/2011 00:36

Just having a problem with the logistics of this. If said lazy familyHmm were already there in front of you, how then did they need to " push past" you? Just wondered.

In an ideal world everyone would be lovely and kind and let you go first when noticing that you have a pram. However, since having a pram doesn't necessarily make you in any greater a hurry than them you wait your turn.

WillowFae · 28/08/2011 00:37

YABU. My local John Lewis has a glass lift and my DCs love going in it. DS calls it the great glass elevator. I'm not going to tell him he can't use it!

Fo0ffyShmoofer · 28/08/2011 00:38

Or is it " push passed"? I'm too tired to see it.

Al0uiseG · 28/08/2011 00:39

Wearing a sling could be a bit tricky if you were clothes shopping Hmm

Original poster
Ems101 · 28/08/2011 00:39

As it seems to be a point of great concern for some people, I was waiting for the lift and the family were standing a little way back from the lift looking at something nearby. I was stood back a little way too so that the people coming out of the lift could get out. Neither party were really behind or infront of each other, but I and the other couple were clearly waiting for the lift as we were standing looking at the lift. When it came to getting into the lift, the couple went in first as they were there before me, and whilst I was waiting for them to go in, the family turned around and promptly strode into the lift, bumping past me.

I thought this was rude, but after reading some comments on here and getting an idea of peoples attitudes, this now just seems normal. I thought we lived in a civilised society, but perhaps I should've just run over them and pushed them out of the way?

OP posts:
UsingMainlySpoons · 28/08/2011 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 28/08/2011 00:41

You still havent really answered it though Ems. Were the pushy lazy family there before you, or not? Who barged past who...

LadyBeagleEyes · 28/08/2011 00:42

Sorry Empusa if I've insulted you.
But taking my mum out in a wheelchair I have no choice but to use the lift.
And again, only in my experience, there are still a lot of very lazy able bodied people that will use the lift rather than walk upstairs
And trying to do a shop with a pushchair can be a nightmare, been there, done that.
On my own I never use a lift, but you'd be amazed at the lazy fuckers out there.

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 28/08/2011 00:42

Not really AlouiseG. You just shop as usual. If you want to try things on pop the baby out and lay them on top of the sling somewhere convenient in the changing room and pull funny faces at them while you try things on. The baby is 3 months old, it won't be running off anywhere.

I don't know how you get a baby in a pram in changing rooms though. But then I've never tried.

FreudianSlipper · 28/08/2011 00:42

oh lord the whole world does not have to take you and your needs into consideration because you have popped one out

of course people should not be rude and push past you or anyone else but it is not comparable to people needing disabled parking, what a stuopid comment

A1980 · 28/08/2011 00:42

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in.

I read this far before I felt nauseated. You have a pushchair you are not disabled! Is it possible to put a pram on an escalator you know, why don't you try it? I see peolple doing it everyday on the London Underground with ease.

I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine

How dare you decide who can walk and who cant. YOU CAN WALK YOURSELF, you just didn't want to.

I am on the outside a perfectly healthy looking early 30 year old. I can walk, etc. BUT I have the severe cartilage problems in both knees and the beginnings of arthritis. I avoid stairs like the plague as THEY HURT MY KNEES LIKE HELL!!!!! Did I say that clearly enough for you "mummy."

So i'm afraid you might see me in the lift at the expesne of mummys and their stupid babies. Oh and I will not give up my seat on public transport for the elderly or pregnant becasue if my knees twist round they can give way and cause alot of pain.

YABU BTW! Grin

hmc · 28/08/2011 00:42

Ems - half of them are pissed - ignore, ignore, ingnore - step away from the thread and don't give them the satisfaction.

LeBOF · 28/08/2011 00:43

In that case, it does sound like they were rude. But I suppose they might have been killing time waiting for the lift by looking at something, and felt they'd been waiting longer? It's hard to tell really, but I can see why it seemed annoying to you.

hmc · 28/08/2011 00:43

And if they are not pissed they are certifiable!

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 28/08/2011 00:45

I'm not pissed (pregnant) nor certifiable (not right now anyway, ask me again next week)

hmc · 28/08/2011 00:46

Well I do have a third category but am hamstrung by innate politesse from sharing it Grin

A1980 · 28/08/2011 00:46

Also Op, why do find it reasonable for a couple to go in a lift with a baby? Surely if you feel so strongly about lift space for babies and prams then only one parent needs to take the pram and the other parent can walk? Or both paretns can easily manage a pram on an escalator or carry it upstairs. Why is a couple with a baby reasonable to go in a lift?

squeakytoy · 28/08/2011 00:46

I have never, in all my years of extensive retail therapy occasionally shopping for necessities.. come across lifts where there have been dozens of people all waiting to get in, and lift-wars going on.

If the lift is full, you wait for the next one, if someone is in a wheelchair or has a pushchair it is common courtesy to let them get in first and then step in after them, as if you are more able to manoeuver yourself into a space than them.

I have never thought of people using the lifts as "lazy fuckers" either if they are not in control of something with wheels. A lift is there for anyone to use if they wish to use it..

LeBOF · 28/08/2011 00:47

I am a bit pissed, I think. But I'm trying to be reasonable.

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 28/08/2011 00:49

Don't feel hamstrung HMC I don't think anyone else is holding back Grin

AgentZigzag · 28/08/2011 00:49

I'm only Slightly Squiffy, but I'm unreasonable by my very nature.

A1980 · 28/08/2011 00:49

I'm neither pissed nor certifiable. Just annoyed with this sense of entitlement over a god damn lift from the OP. Wait for the next one or walk!