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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't use the lift unless you actually need to?

346 replies

Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:18

So I was in a well known department store today (ok it was John Lewis!) and now that I am a mummy I find myself having to take the lift between floors as I have a pram with my 3 month old in. In this particular store they also have escalators and stairs between the floors, but the escalators are too narrow to safely get a pram up them, and I don't think it's reasonable to heave a pram up a flight of stairs. The escalators and stairs (which are next to each other) are at the front of the store, easy to find, easy to see, and if you are able bodied and not pushing a pushchair or carrying a heavy load, quite safe to use.

So WHY when I go to find the lift (which is at the back of the store, and I had to actually look at the signs to find it as I've never taken it before) do I find a couple with a pushchair waiting (perfectly reasonably of course, they had a baby too) and then a family of four with two children who were easily both over the age of 8, all of whom did not appear to be disabled as were standing up and seemed able to walk pefectly fine as they shoved past me to get in the lift before me so that it was then too full for me to go in, and I then had to wait again for the lift to come back.

Would it not be reasonable for me to expect that once they saw someone who actually needed the lift, they should have either let me go first or walked the 30 metres or so to the escalators or stairs and gone up them instead?

I know I have no 'right' or 'claim' over the lift, but wouldn't it be the decent thing to not use the lift unless you had to, especially when there are people waiting who don't really have another option but to use it.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/08/2011 23:32

parents are as entitled to special provisions for their needs as anyone else, including disabled people). You have the right to adaptations for your current needs and that includes lifts- people who don't need a lift shouldn't be stealing that. They are lazy fucks.

hmm

BurningBridges · 27/08/2011 23:33

Notice on the lift at Tate Modern today: "Please celebrate your ability to use the stairs and leave the lift for those who need it". Get one made up and have it on a stick on the pram! YANBU.

squeakytoy · 27/08/2011 23:33

and clearly I was so irritated with that post I missed off my brackets,
so

Hmm and have a Biscuit too..

schroeder · 27/08/2011 23:34

YABU ds is petrified of escalators, so if he is with us and we're going more than a couple of flights we use the lift. I have asthma too, so can't go up too many stairs at a time anyway.

giraffesCantChaChaCha · 27/08/2011 23:35

I probably look perfectly fine but when asthma playing up then I get dangerously breathless easily, for example in hosp walked back from shower and needed nebulized. So if it is unstable then I will not use stairs as don't want to take chances when out and about. So I will use lift instead of stairs. I would however use escalator over lift, but stand in to side as people often want to walk up it.

mercibucket · 27/08/2011 23:35

the decent thing to do is not to push other people out of your way, it would also be polite to offer the lift to someone in a wheelchair who was behind you in the queue as they don't have any other option (but hey maybe they would find that patronising, I don't know) other than that a lift is there for everyone to use so YABU

mercibucket · 27/08/2011 23:35

I don't have anything wrong with me btw and I still prefer taking the lift. so sue me

cheesesarnie · 27/08/2011 23:35

yabu.get over yourself.

my children love using the lift.
however my children have manners.if you were there first you would go first.

2shoes · 27/08/2011 23:36

yabu as the lifts are for everyone.....but I do feel for you.
our local shopping centre has a lift, it also has loads of escalators
yet able bodied pram/buggyless people wait for the lift(wtf)
when on my own I use the escalators but if I have dd with me(wheelchair user) i HAVE to use the lift, so I use one in one of the shops(never a que and talks so she likes it:o)

NorfolkBroad · 27/08/2011 23:36

Assuming they were able bodied (and i suppose we don't know that they were) I agree with you. I know there are many examples of people who do not look disabled but are but fgs there are also alot of lazy people who could use the stairs and dont.

Icelollycraving · 27/08/2011 23:37

Yabu. Why should you have priority because you are a 'mummy'? Lifts are not just for disabled people or mummies but also for anyone who can't be arsed to walk. Wait your turn & get a grip.

NorfolkBroad · 27/08/2011 23:37

mercibucket, basically what you said in your first post. Don't mean to insult anyone who likes going in the lift. Have just been in position of OP and felt the same.

ShellyBoobs · 27/08/2011 23:38

YABVU. "Now I'm a mummy..." That sounds very precious and smug.

Lifts aren't installed for your convenience; they're for whoever wants to use them.

Having a baby doesn't mean you're especially entitled. There are other people in the world too and plenty of them won't give a flying shit that you've reproduced.

zipzap · 27/08/2011 23:38

From your op it sounds like the family were there before you.

If that was the case then they might well have been thinking that you were the rude one waiting in front of them so that they had to make their way past you to claim their rightful place in the queue...

If that wasn't the case then ignore that bit!

However I'm in agreement with most of the other people here, lifts are for everyone and everyone should wait their turn in the order they arrive at the lifts. It's not like there is a long wait between lifts to need some sort of prioritisation beyond this!

cheesesarnie · 27/08/2011 23:39

' parents are as entitled to special provisions for their needs as anyone else, including disabled people).' bullshit

2shoes · 27/08/2011 23:39

oh and if any able bodied person tried to que jump and go in front of my dd, i would ram them with her wheelchair!

cheesesarnie · 27/08/2011 23:39

bugger the little starry things

Original poster
Ems101 · 27/08/2011 23:46

Blimey, in the small space of 5 minutes according to this thread it seems we live in a world of 'If I want to then I shall'. I just feel sorry for those with disabilities who actually don't have a choice who probably spend their lives waiting for lifts and disabled toilets and car parking spaces, because this is Britain! We can so we shall! I don't need to use to the lift but I shall make the lady in the wheelchairs life just that bit more harder by making her wait another 5 minutes for it, because I can!

Bimbo No.5? You seem to have some misunderstanding of the phrase 'now I'm a mummy', see I wasn't a mummy before, now however, I am! So I suggest YOU get over yourself.

OP posts:
jumpingjackhash · 27/08/2011 23:48

Your op suggests the family were already there, waiting ahead of you for the lift, so were you looking to queue jump just because you had a pram? IMO lifts are there for whoever wants to use them, not just those who have no option, so on that yabu. Likewise, manners apply to all too.

magicmummy1 · 27/08/2011 23:48

Perhaps disabled people should start wearing yellow stars or something, so that we can be sure we know who they are. Hmm

OP, waiting for a few minutes for a lift is no big deal. I bet you get upset about P&C car parking spaces too. Grin Having a baby is definitely not the same as being disabled, and while it's nice to have priority sometimes, we shouldn'ht expect special treatment all the time.

I could argue that, if you're fit and healthy, yabu to use a pram at all. You should use a baby sling and leave the lifts free for those who really need them. Wink

brighthair · 27/08/2011 23:48

Not judging as I am terrified of lifts and was doing some CBT work with therapist. Got glared at for using lift, but we were working on it! Grin

jumpingjackhash · 27/08/2011 23:49

Cross posts with zipzap!

cheesesarnie · 27/08/2011 23:49

but op you werent talking about disabilities in your op,you were talking about pushing a pram

DocDuck · 27/08/2011 23:50

I don't necessarily agree with you, OP, but the rudeness of some of the other posters on here is disgraceful; I especially love the passive agressive trick of writing something nasty but 'covering' it with strikethrough ... charming!

BurningBridges · 27/08/2011 23:50

So no one else liked the sign at the Tate then? Oh. slinks off, deflated