Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

'Did god spinkle dust on your belly??' NO! Really stuck please help

144 replies

RueyBoey · 27/08/2011 13:49

Umm NO!!

our DN (on of DH sister's daughter) is staying with us for about a week while SIL is in hospital.
She is obsessed with my baby bump and last night said to me at bed time (v.sleepily) 'Aunty Ruey you must be very happy that god put baby in your belly'
I didn't know what to say, but luckily she was very tired so I didn't say anything.
This morning she was in our room while I was getting dressed and after poking (gently) my bump she said, 'Did god spinkle dust on your belly to get the baby in there like he did for my mummy?'
I was stuck dumb (DH came in and has taken her to work so I didn't have time to reply)
She's 4 and me and DH don't really want to phone up SIL to say anything to her while she is in hospital.

I'm sure it'll come up again.

So what do we say/do???

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 27/08/2011 13:51

Why do or say anything? Just smile and say yes. She is 4, and doesnt really need to know the full details and its not really up to you to be the one to tell her.

belgo · 27/08/2011 13:51

What exactly is the problem? That biologically she is incorrect, or that she has a religious upbringing?

GwendolineMaryLacey · 27/08/2011 13:52

Nod and smile and say yes dear. It's up to her parents what they choose to tell her, not you. Why would you phone your SIL about it if she's in hospital? It's a bit of a non event.

lettinggo · 27/08/2011 13:52

Phone SIL up and say what??? What's the problem here?

Feminine · 27/08/2011 13:52

It wouldn't bother me.

If its what she has been taught,she will have to bite your tongue

I wouldn't even contemplate bothering your SIL with such trivia!

She is 4 :)

Panzee · 27/08/2011 13:52

She might have just made it up.

Kayano · 27/08/2011 13:53

Well obv that is what your SIL has told her so don't disagree and just nod

She is not your child to raise or discuss God etc...
I say this as a non-believer

why would you mention it to SIL? I don't even see the big deal.

Feminine · 27/08/2011 13:53

*you will have to bite your tongue, of course.

Pixieonthemoor · 27/08/2011 13:53

Is it the whole god aspect that is bothering you? I would just play along/agree with whatever she has been told by your SIL. She is not your child so it shouldn't be your choice of how or what she is told about reproduction, god etc.

scuzy · 27/08/2011 13:54

dont understand what the problem is either to be honest or why you were "stuck dumb".

IRCL · 27/08/2011 13:54

I would just smile and sort of direct the conversation somewhere else.

She is only 4 and sounds like she has a religious upbringing? So I would just let her mum know she has been asking questions but you felt as if you did not want to say anything as it is not your place?

IRCL · 27/08/2011 13:55

I would just smile and sort of direct the conversation somewhere else.

She is only 4 and sounds like she has a religious upbringing? So I would just let her mum (probably after she was out of hospital though) know she has been asking questions but you felt as if you did not want to say anything as it is not your place?

BumWiper · 27/08/2011 14:03

I would also just smile and nod.
She is not your child so you really have no say in correcting her.

sjuperwolef · 27/08/2011 14:04

wow, everyones gone on the dont bash god wagon here, i thought the op was more concerned about agreeing with fairy dust when she obviously finds it a bit of a silly thing but cant tell a 4 yr old the facts of life, well at least not one who isnt her own.

i say nod politely when she mentions it again and if she keeps going on say ''its lovely your mummy told you that, what a nice story'' and change the subject.

Original poster

RueyBoey · 27/08/2011 14:04

Me and DH both had a religious upbringing (Roman Catholic) (me far far far more than him and his sisters) so it is not that is not it at all (we like to think of ourselves at culturally-catholic :p , go to midnight mass and if we are with my family (esp in france) )

I think it is the fact that I definatly was never told such things (It was always just there, no 'talk' ect, I knew from a very early age) Really it was the whole magic dust thing that got me. Goes against the grain (as I was raised) if that makes sense

(Of course I wouldn't phone SIL) but I definatly feel uncomfortable very obviously agreeing with her (esp as I'm a mw).

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 27/08/2011 14:06

I'd tell her the truth tbh

if you are trusted to look after her while your SIL is away then you should be trusted to follow your judgement when it comes to questions she asks

I don't suggest that you organise a programme of deliberate indoctrination, but if a child in my care asked me a direct question I would answer it. I wouldn't lie to her, which is what other posters are advocating.

squeakytoy · 27/08/2011 14:09

It isnt your place to tell her the facts of life. In the same way that if she asked if Father Christmas was real, it isnt up to you to put her right either.

WorzselMummage · 27/08/2011 14:10

She is 4. It's not your place to correct her so just gloss over it.

Scaevola · 27/08/2011 14:11

I'd feel uncomfortable too - just in the same way as I would for storks, bramble bushes, doctor's bags etc.

But I don't think it would be right to embark on a facts of life conversation with someone else's child. I wouldn't endorse an erroneous version - I think the "smile weakly and divert to something kind and general (and not inaccurate)" is the only way to go. And mention it to SIL when she's up to it - you might find that she's as horrified as you (as who knows where DN has got this idea from). It is much better that SIL deals with this idc.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 27/08/2011 14:11

Don't be silly. The child is not asking a direct question, she's making conversation. Why on earth would you think it's your business to correct her? Nothing to do with not bashing God , just not interfering in someone else's upbringing of their child. She's 4, just leave her be.

Bandwithering · 27/08/2011 14:12

You'd phone your sil over this!? lol. She'd thank your for that.

She is four. Just tell her that it's something like that yes and her mum might know more.

I disagree that it's 'bound to come up again' in the space of a weekend. There have been months, years, inbetween my children's FOL type questions.

BumWiper · 27/08/2011 14:12

Tbh its a bit of a non issue and it wont effect her adversely if she believes in fairy dust,santa or the tooth fairy.
Shes a child ffs,leave her be.

WidowWadman · 27/08/2011 14:12

I'd nod, smile, and cringe. Same as I did when my friend's 6yo recently said "And it's God who makes the rain, right?".

Not my place to correct. I was just glad that my own children were too young to join this conversation, as that would have made things a little bit more difficult. Whilst I don't wish to interfere with other people's children's belief in fairy dust and the big beard in the sky, I don't want to lie in front of my own children to avoid offending those who do believe.

Greensleeves · 27/08/2011 14:12

I don't think anyone is being "silly" . It's a perfectly valid topic for discussion - rudeness not called for.

Bandwithering · 27/08/2011 14:13

I agree wth Gwendoline. Also, if the child came out with 'god sprinkled dust on your belly' this came from somewhere, her own mother I'd guess. so just say ummm. fgs! overthinking things or what!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6