to have walked out on best friends' rude child? (long).

[SaffronCake]

I arranged to go for lunch with my best friend, but she sent me a text as I was leaving to say she didn't want to go out (joint pain- it's a recurring problem for her) so we'd be having lunch at hers. She could have told me earlier and I wouldn't have spent an extra half hour getting ready I thought, but nevermind, make-up's on now and hair's up, too late.

Once at hers, her 11 year old daughter would not shut up, singing the same 4 lines of the most annoying single in the charts over, and over and over. We've got a relationship a bit like sisters and we'd both tell each others kids off without second thought. I asked the girl to stop it, she said she couldn't, so I said if that was the case then go to her bedroom or out to play because it's annoying and very rude and she's making it hard for Mummy and I to talk to each other. It made no difference beyond a quiet 2 or 3 minutes here and there.

After an hour of this my baby can't concentrate on anything, including her lunch, and the annoying 11 y/o is now laughing every time my baby spits her food. So I tell her not to because it encourages bad behaviour. That again works for 2-3 minutes and either another bloody 4 lines of "Swagger Jagger" or laughing at the baby starts up again. It wasn't even a real laugh, it was clearly put on.

After giving up on lunch and trying to cuddle baby in for her nap for another 10 minutes while the girl kept on singing/humming the same 4 lines (just 4 lines) of that infernal annoyance, so that baby couldn't even sleep, I packed up said we were leaving. My friend (who was quite shocked as I would be expected to hang about until early evening, it being quite a drive) asked if I was Ok, I said, "no I've had enough of it, but it's her house, so we better be off".

Cue shock and awe all round, one very guilty 11 year old and a rapid departure.

I don't think I'm out of order, because I don't think I could really have done anything else. If my friend isn't going to insist on basic respect in her house I've no right to wade in and set the punishments, but that said I don't like the scene-making-ness of it all and now I feel sorry any of it happened at all.

Was IBU? Please be nice.

Hmm, I'm a bit on the fence here.

11 year olds can be really annoying and get easily bored. Could you not get her involved with helping with the baby, or playing with her?

Your friend should have sorted her out but if she was in pain and tired maybe was a bit slack in doing so. I think you could have handled it better rather than snapping and leaving. But then an 11 year old should know better and it's good that she realised her behaviour spoiled your and her mum's day.

people also have different lvls of annoyance she may have been quite use to her daughter doing that and devolved immunity to it were you have obviously not she may have barely even noticed it, hence why she didnt say anything about it.

I'd have done the same in your shoes. YANBU.

You were being unreasonable not to tell her bluntly what utter shit that song is.

She sounds an annoying little brat and I hope your early departure taught her a lesson.

Agree with sending cheery text / email to friend.

Hopefully her DD will have learned a lesson (but don't say that, FGS!)

I think YWBU - you flounced off because an 11 year old was behaving badly which will no doubt make your friend feel awful.

YWNBU, she had plenty of warnings to stop and when she didn't you left. It was not just you being put out but your baby too. Very rude of her not to stop or go elsewhere when explicitly told to. She needs to learn how not to annoy everyone she meets.

I think you were being a little childish.. but I understand why you were stressed. I guess it matters more what your friend thinks, are you going to call her?

Good for you - well done!

Think you over reacted. Stomping out was rather petulant TBH. Why did you not ask your friend to make her DD shut up?

And thanks a fucking bunch for getting that bloody crappy song of shit lodged in my mind. (it only has four lines doesn't it?)

Did you already have the hump before you got there? It read like you did -getting ready to go 'out to lunch' but had to stay in at your friends and not being told till after you had gone to effort to get ready.

Your friends DDs behaviour sounded peskey and I can understand how it would grate.

I think you may have been better to ignore and asked your friend to pull her up rather than strop out.

Your friend was suffering with joint pain and was unable to go out, so maybe she wasnt on top of her parenting?
I know I'm lax when I'm ill.

Soooooooooo I think YWBU and should send your mate an email/text to smooth things over.

I think I would have given warning first-"I´ll have to go soon as I can´t stand that anymore."

But I wonder that no one tried to involve the girl or find her something to do?

YWNBU at all. The child sounds irritating and if it were mine would have been told off. You tried, if the mother did nothing then you did the only thing you could do - remove yourself from the situation.

Send her a text to check how she's doing (friend not child), what with the pain etc.

Was the little girl also expecting to go out to lunch?

Maybe she was pissed off!

Not unreasonable at all. She was disrespecting you (and her mother), at 11 years old she should understand that is not on. I would have done the same thing as you did. But as others have said you may need to smooth things a bit with your friend.

YWNU - she sounds a pain in the neck and good for you for voting with your feet. Your friend should have told her to leave the room and let you two chat anyway; I'm sure when the girl has her friends round her mum doesn't sit there annoying the life out of them. But sitting there singing and humming when you're trying to have a conversation is just really bad manners.

I would expect an apology from her daughter.

And for those (few) who say "wait till yours is older" etc, I'm sure the OP will have the good manners and control to stop her daughter behaving like a brat.

I have a nippy 11 year old too. Sometimes I wish I could leave too. Fortunately granny has stepped in today!

What is this Swagger Jagger? I don't want to google in case it is lodged in my mind. Is it like Crazy Frog?

YWNBU either way.

TBH I think an 11 year old should be mature enough to understand if mum isn't well and entertain themselves.

YANBU, I think i'd have snapped a lot sooner the ratty mare that I am.

YWBU!

Gosh it didn't take much to rattle your cage did it?!

My son is 9 and is super guilty of singing the same lines to songs over and over again....while it's mildly irritating, if one of MY friends flounced out of my house because he was putting her precious baby off her lunch (what nonsense OP), then as far as I would be concerned, the door could smack her in the arse on her way out.
See ya then.

madameLupino, imagine the phrase "swagger jagger" sung to the tune of "oh my darling clementine " and you've just about got it.

Madame-Cher Lloyd, as in X Factor, don't go there

Swagger Jagger?

I'd have lasted about five minutes.

well done you hopefully now the dd will feel really guilty

Swagger Jagger, Swagger Jagger
You should get some of your own
Count that money, get your game on
Get yo game on, get your, get your game on