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AIBU?

Had a date today AIBU?

184 replies

DrPolidori · 07/08/2011 20:57

had a date, lovely day, really liked him. Really fancied him...had some quite steamy snogs...

Anyway. Got home, found I had a message from an old friend on the same site found date in saying, hey good to see you, fancy a drink some time?

To which I said yeah! Would be nice to catch up and have a chuckle about bumping into each other on a dating site.

Have just talked to today's date who has reacted really weirdly, saying, you are going on a date with another man.....Can't believe it etc ...after our lovely afternoon etc. In which we had agreed to just date each other for a bit.

AIBU to think this is a complete overreaction and rings massive alarm bells?

Or does he have a point?

Very interested in your views.

OP posts:

Report

DrPolidori · 07/08/2011 23:34

And btw, I have apologised, not for exchanging emails with old mate, but for arranging what might be considered a date. which it wasn't. and he didn't beleive me.

That upsets ME.

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JeremyVile · 07/08/2011 23:37

What did you tell him for?

Game playing on the first day, no wonder he reacted weirdly.

DrPolidori · 07/08/2011 23:38

No SGB, that's the thing. Just I am more of a serial monagamist. So happy to do exclusive for the few weeks/months it takes to see how things work out. Its just that I very rarely really really fancy someone... and it was lovely to have that today. Sad that my seemingly innocent comment provoked a tirade of betrayal accusations from him. But better sooner that later,

Perhaps if I had given him my love heart sweety which said b mine only it would have worked out better.

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NoseyNooNoo · 07/08/2011 23:40

I think you should leave him be. If he wants to be with you he'll be in contact and you can continue your steamy snogging. If he prefers to act like an Italian mummy's boy, you're better off out of it.

DrPolidori · 07/08/2011 23:41

Jeremy, it is NOT games playing to innocently tell someone of a funny happenstance on a dating site....seeing an old friend! I think its funny! I did not think in a million years he would take it as , actually I'm off to shag someone else., so long and thanks for all the fish (I shall be sleeping with soon, no doubt)

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jasper · 07/08/2011 23:45

Here's a though...
You meet old friend and fancy him like mad.......and he feels the same .....

jasper · 07/08/2011 23:47

Also , sorry if I have missed this , but

Does old friend know about brand new fabulous kisser pasta eating hunk?

DrPolidori · 07/08/2011 23:48

well, that would be nice but I happen to know he has faintly strange sexual pecadillos, which while I do not have a problem with them, would do nothing for me.

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JeremyVile · 07/08/2011 23:48

So you werent trying to play games, keep him on his toes, whatever.
BUT "oh, btw im going to meet up with an old friend i just came across on a dating site" could very well be a head-fuck tactic, and he doesnt know you well enough to know its not.

I dont agree that this is a red-flag from him, after all he may well be thinking you're a big red flag now too. I do agree that next time, dont agree to exclusivity on the first bloody date! This situation is a good example of why that is A Bad Idea.

DrPolidori · 07/08/2011 23:49

No! Old friend knows nothing! It really has been 20 years! I am old! 47!

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JeremyVile · 07/08/2011 23:51

He's not an elbow licker is he?

I came across (ahem) an elbow licker recently. Now, I'm quite a filth bag but that was a new one on me.

jasper · 07/08/2011 23:52

aha, so if old friend knows nothing about Italian kisser , then old friend MIGHT be hoping to engage you in his SSPs? No? After all, it's been 20 years. You didn't fancy him back them but he might be hoping you do now?

DrPolidori · 07/08/2011 23:54

Elbow licking would be vanilla, my dear, positively vanilla. As far as I remember he rather likes wearing his partners , um, clothing. Which is fine, I say, fine! But Not For Me!

which makes it all the more silly that Italian Stallion Pasta man thinks I'm off for a head-fuck date....

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 08/08/2011 00:01

Of course they are VDTs, and would have been if you'd bumped into old mate on the street rather than on the dating site that set you up with Mr Snogabellini.

Okay, there's still a chance of damage limitation.

Sometime late tomorrow or Tuesday I suggest you send Mr S a message saying that something seems have been lost in translation.

After your lovely afternoon with him, you couldn't wait to get home and suspend your profile (or whatever it is you were going to do/did). On logging into the site you found a message from an old friend who had spotted your name/recognised your photo?

The old friend wanted to meet up purely so that you could both catch up on what you and other friends have been up to since you last met. Your old friend is merely a friend - neither of you were interested in each other except as friends and nothing will have changed on that score.

You were looking forward to telling your old friend about Mr S and hoped that at some point you'd all meet up - and if your old friend meets someone through the site you thought it may be enjoyable for you all to get together.

You hope that this explanation has gone some way to clear up any misunderstanding that may have occurred yesterday, but that if he no longer wants to see you again you'd like to take this opportunity of wishing him well for the future.

And wait to see what response, if any, you receive.

If you do get to meet Mr S again, dress demurely, be your usual bubbly self but not effusive, and don't snog - a peck when parting will subtly let him know that he's got some ground to make up even if the peck involves tongues

BTW, when are you meeting up with your old mucker?

AnyFucker · 08/08/2011 00:07

gosh, if it's this much hard work already with Mr Exclusive man (do we really say that, in the UK, I thought it was silver-screen wankery..) then I say stuff him

DrPolidori · 08/08/2011 00:07

VDTs? do explain!

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DrPolidori · 08/08/2011 00:08

AF, I do lurve you (tis MmeD btw).

Who needs this shit?

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AnyFucker · 08/08/2011 00:08

Precisamundo^

jasper · 08/08/2011 00:09

OP please comment on whether mr just an old pal from my youth might POSSIBLY have a different agenda from you

DrPolidori · 08/08/2011 00:10

Oh, and btw my brother DID pay the money back the next week, but iin really silly split amounts that he insisted I texted him upon recieving.

Wanker! Don't remember him asking for that when I lent it to him.

Oh dear, so off piste!

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 08/08/2011 00:10

Elbow licking's a new one on me too Jeremy Do they supply the grease

Darn it, all these years there's been an additonal source of income above my fingertips

DrPolidori · 08/08/2011 00:12

If I tell you inconfidence, jasper, that we did have a one night thing which was so disastrous it took us several years to look each other in the eye again, would that put your mind at rest?

OBVIOUSLY I did not tell SpaghettiHero this...I think his brain would have exploded.

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AnyFucker · 08/08/2011 00:12

is elbow licking the same as window licking ?

because that is serious shit

DrPolidori · 08/08/2011 00:13

If you window lick, do, you wipe with newspaper or kitchen towel afterwards?

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 08/08/2011 00:14

DrP...did oldmate's arse not accomodate your tighty-whities ?

moobs too capacious for your boulder-houlder ?

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