...to be utterly disgusted that people - especially women - use the word 'frape'. It's not big or clever, is DISGUSTING

[hairfullofsnakes]

...a stupid, awful word that should be banned. How can people use this word and not feel ashamed of doing so?

i don't believe i spoke for anyone but myself, Moomin. and the thing about 'silly things' that pass etc is the legacy they leave. children will learn frape and rape simultaneously and they will see the 'seriousness' of frape and it will imo infect the way they see rape. all this bitches/whores/ho/slag stuff that kids use to each other as evidence of their coolness and ability to take a joke etc, i find that culture, linked to this 'frape' (i'm certain it wasn't a 40 year old mum who originated the term), really worrying for the future, especially as the actual crime of rape isn't yet dealt with properly. telling young girls that they are slagz etc is all part of that.

It's not about the word for me anyway, I wouldn't refere to myself as a victim of rape, I think the word is used by the media to sensationalise the act of sexual assault . For me It's not about the word used to describe it, it's about the act itself

I don't think the word 'rape' is used to 'sensationalise' the act itself by the media ... can you elaborate on this?

Rape also means abusive or improper treatment, or to seize and carry off by force, so technically the use of the word rape in this context is correct.

However, given most people only associate it with forced sexual acts and the fact it is, in reality, a emotionally charged word perhaps means it should not be used for reasons of taste and senstitivity.

I see no problem with the term, except a mild dislike of made-up modern merged words. I have experienced abuse in my past and don't find it disgusting when people use the term 'rape' to describe other, lesser things. In fact, I use it myself - 'the train company raped me for 300 quid on those penalty fare tickets when we caught the wrong train' etc etc. It is just used to convey a sense of outrage and disgust at the treatment by someone else, or an invasion of your privacy.

I honestly do not understand why some rape victims get so hett up over the lexical choices of others. So long as people are respectful of your actual experience, what does it matter if the use the word in other contexts?

Maybe because it makes it seem like something to be joked about? Or because there will be some people who, if the word is commonly used as a description in things like overpriced train fares, will begin to equate the actual, horrific effects of rape to the realm of everyday annoyance.

I think, personally - and again these are only my views, people are entitled to think whatever they like etc - that it's insulting to have someone writing on facebook 'against your will' equated, even on a linguistic level, with the worst violation possible.

It's also not only people who've experienced rape who get 'hett up' about this issue - I haven't, thank goodness, but several close friends have and I've witnessed the catastrophic effects of not only the rape, but the police treatment, the examination, the long legal process, with 1 'man' never being charged and another being aquitted.

So for me, using terms like rape in a jokey manner, or to refer to daily life occurrences like inflated train fares etc, is not OK.

I agree, it has put me right off frappucinos

oh ffs people moan about the smallest fucking things. your life must be perfect if al you can worry about is people using the word FRAPE!!

Eh?

as another rape victim, many years ago, i find the term frape very offensive, they are my feelings, and no-one can tell me I am not entitled to them

As it happens, I had this discussion with 16 year old dd a few months ago, and she respects my feelings, said she will not use the term ever again.

MABS - I hope the people who are so unfussed by the term read your post and start to understand why this is such an awful term. People like Monalisa who has taken the time to moan about how it's just a word - no, it is more than that, it is completely offensive and disresresepectful to ladies like you. X

why not use the term face jacking. it is immediately obvious what the issue is and is unlikely to upset anyone

thanks hairfullofsnakes,much appreciated. It is just how i feel about the word but i sorta feel my opininion should be quite valid, even though the rape was 21 years ago :( Funnily enough, just asked dh what he thought of the word, he hates it.

Of course it is valid, extremely. I'm sorry you went through that - words seem so... Well just not enough and I wish I could say something valid buy I just want you to know that I am sorry you went though that and sending hugs x

very sweet of you :)

Mabs is right. I have heard my ds and his friends and have made them aware and hope that they will take it in. They had been saying it for a while but I had no idea what it was or would have acted sooner

just a subject a bit too close to my heart I afraid Noddy,thanks for your support.