...to be utterly disgusted that people - especially women - use the word 'frape'. It's not big or clever, is DISGUSTING

[hairfullofsnakes]

...a stupid, awful word that should be banned. How can people use this word and not feel ashamed of doing so?

Aitch where the hell on either thread have I said 'can anyone tell me how an aircraft hijack isn't the same as a violent sexual assault?' or anything remotely like that. You are either mistaken or being deliberately obtuse and creating a straw man to argue with? Either way I'm reporting your post.

The simple fact that it is using the word rape is comparing it to rape ffs

So - is talking about hijacking a post on here comparing it to an actual hijack?

I'm going to have to hide this thread.,the fact that one person doesn't have the mental capacity to work out why frape is offensive is enough for me to bow out.

One last thing to ponder though: my teenage cousins constantly have 'fraped' statuses on their FB. Always saying things like "takes it up the arse", "wants it anytime"

This is posted on their wall, all their 'friends' will see it. It's all just a fucking game.

It minimalises rape and its impact.

If someone said they had been raped, I would be concerned and worried about them. If someone said they had been fraped, I would know they meant their facebook page had been hijacked.

I am capable of distinguishing the two different meanings.

Not at all, and I agree with your point about hijacking, which is why I suggested facebook hacking. A less invasive term by far. However I do feel the term "frape" holds a lot more opportunities to offend, upset and trigger, which is the point I was aiming for, due to the number of victims.

Frape is a new word. Who knows whether it will survive.

For me, it doesn't take away the meaning of the word rape.

I understand rape to mean to penetrate a person, usually but not exclusively a woman, vaginally, anally or orally with a penis or other instrument against her or his will in order to subjugate and humiliate.

The biggest problem is that most people don't want to understand what rape really means to a person.

If asked, most people would say rape was a bad thing, but if questioned further would start talking about degrees of rape, provocation or mitigation and worthy and unworthy victims of rape.

That is what I find disgusting.

In the light of that, twee bleating about terms such as Frape doesn't get on my radar.

FWIW I am completely comfortable with terms such as 'rape of the land' as long as it refers to utter devastation.

But neither frape or facebook hijack refer to either of the crimes imo - just different meanings of the word.
I agree that if you have been raped anyone making jokes about rape or trivialising it in any way is upsetting but using an alternative meaning of the word wouldn't necessarily be imo.

MQ, the fact that those planes were hijacked wasn't really the crime, tbh. it was the fact that they were ploughed into NYC and Washington that was the problem. who knows what would have happened if they'd spent the time on the tarmac, as did plenty of hijacks in the past. rape and hijacks really aren't comparable, you know, it's a bit of a blind alley. likewise 'killing'.

i presume that because none of the answers you have received have managed to dent your cast iron opinion that anyone who doesn't object to 'thread hijack' is a dribbling hypocrite you will be sticking with the 'and NO ONE was able to answer me' line? just wanting to check...

i just think it's depressing that if 100 of us are raped tonight only 6 of us would see our attackers convicted of the crime... but rather than take that seriously at all, there are those who would defend further trivialisation of the word. because the two things are linked, like it or not. if rape is something as daft as forgettingto log out of FB and 'asking for' someoen to tell the world that we fart in bed, then how on earth will we engender in our society that those other 94 women deserved justice too?

When the term "hijack" is used on here, it means someone has taken over a thread. It is trivialising, and I agree there.

However, we don't have the issue of the media trying to minimise hijacks and report them for something they're not. With rape, we have victims' stories reported as affairs, or examples given of how the victim put themselves at risk. If the two terms were taken on the same level of seriousness, I do think your point would be stronger. But one is deemed "taboo" by the media. The other is accepted.

Hmm. This is an interesting one.

I am a rape victim. I do not flinch when people talk about 'frape.' I don't particularly like the term, but nor am I grievously offended by it. I'm not sure why I feel no particular care either way. Probably because I don't think anyone using it has the idea that rape and frape are in any way comparable.

However, I do understand that people think that disarming the power of a word by bringing it into common parlance is damaging. People's views on rape are extremely skewed and it is a misunderstood crime. If there's any evidence that this is due to 'oh that music raped my ears' and 'he fraped me', then fine. But having studied the language of rape at an academic level, I just don't think there is.

MightyQuinn, may I ask, does your stance come from a victim's perspective?

It's part of the evolution of language. You can be offended by it's use and it's origins but you cannot stop it's current usage or meanings.

If someone had said "My Facebook account has been raped" I can understand why people would find that offensive. "Frape" is a term that has been created, it is not "rape". Lockets - I have never heard that description of the term and that has shocked me to be honest. I will stand by my comment though that most people who use the term are not thinking of it in the context of any violent sexual nature. In the comparison used of 9/11 I don't think the event itself was the point, the use of the word "hijack" was the point. Although it may be a much less common crime, that does not make it any less distressing and devastating for the people involved in any form of hijack. I think the point was that the term is used a fair amount in common language (and on MN) and people do not seem to be offended by it in the same way

1. The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse.
2. The act of seizing and carrying off by force; abduction.
3. Abusive or improper treatment; violation: a rape of justice.

4To plunder or pillage

Or a type of plant

You are misunderstanding me Aitch. I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT RAPE AND HIJACK ARE COMPARABLE, SIMILAR OR SHARE ANY FEATURES WHATSOEVER. I am pointing out that they both have multiple meanings - one of which describes a serious crime. Using the other meanings, imo, has no reason to trivialise either crime.
You are making the leap that if you don't see the problem with the alternative use of the word rape being used then you don't take the crime of rape seriously. Why is that?

But Frape is the same thing. Frape is the merging of two words (I've forgotten the term for it). So, once you know what the meaning is, it doesn't lose the effect, IMO?

i understood the point, i just thought that it wasn't a particularly relevant one. but then i would rather be hijacked than raped, i reckon.
bahpum, interesitng points, although by instinct i find them unlikely. what does studying the language of rape mean? in literature or rl? using court transcripts? sounds fascinating, but too grim.

I'm sorry but Aitch... "if rape is something as daft as forgettingto log out of FB and 'asking for' someoen to tell the world that we fart in bed, then how on earth will we engender in our society that those other 94 women deserved justice too?". People are not saying that is "rape", they are saying that is "frape". They have 2 very different meanings

When people say they've been "fraped", they are saying they have been raped via facebook. It is NOT two very different things from where I'm standing. They are comparing their account being hacked to being raped.

i'm not, MQ. i'm saying thatanything that further trivialises the way that this society thinks of the crime of rape is not good, and we should not be sanguine about it. i'd be highly relaxed about 'frape' as a word if women who were violently sexually attacked were taken seriously and convictions sought and obtained on their behalf. as it is... 6%. i don't thinkwe are inaposition to have a giggle about fraping until actual raping is taken a bit more seriously.

BahHumPug - Almost certainly the most balanced post on here

Peanut - are you saying you think that people mean that they have been penetrated orally, vaginally or anally without consent via facebook? Because that's the definition people on here are talking about I thought and I think that's unlikely to be what people mean.

Tis stupid...