...to be utterly disgusted that people - especially women - use the word 'frape'. It's not big or clever, is DISGUSTING

[hairfullofsnakes]

...a stupid, awful word that should be banned. How can people use this word and not feel ashamed of doing so?

True but at least it would be in known computer or technological terms and not about a physical or emotional attack...imo being raped and being hacked are very different

Howcanyounotgetit - I am so sorry for your hideous experience. And the subsequent feelings that "fraped" brought to you. I do think that hijack would not be anymore appropriate however as I am sure that there will be somebody who has survived the horrific experience of hijacking and is probably still dealing with the issues that the event has caused. In an ideal world there would be a new word created for when somebody accesses somebody's Facebook account and posts a status. However that is not how the world seems to work and language seems to be stretched rather than created. I feel that whatever the term somebody would be upset

Howcanyounotgetit - I'm sorry for what you have been through and thank you for your comments on here. Your opinion - and that of the other lady earlier on who said she had been raped - are the ones that really matter. Using the word 'fraped' is so totally disrespectful to rape vicitms and again, (words don't seem enough) but I so sorry for what you have been through.

rape 1 (rp)
n.

1. The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse.
2. The act of seizing and carrying off by force; abduction.
3. Abusive or improper treatment; violation: a rape of justice.

tr.v. raped, rap·ing, rapes

1. To force (another person) to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse; commit rape on.
2. To seize and carry off by force.
3. To plunder or pillage.

[Middle English, from rapen, to rape, from Old French raper, to abduct, from Latin rapere, to seize; see rep- in Indo-European roots.] raper n.

I don't see any problem with the use of this word. It isn't just a description of a violent sexual act and it certainly isn't used that was regarding facebook. It's modern society language. Get a grip.

I would suggest using 'Faced' instead.

Ask yourself this. If a friend called you over the phone saying they were raped. Would you think someone had plundered from their land? Been carried off? Or would you think they had been violated sexually.

Of course violated sexually because no matter how people justify the use of the word, in todays world, that is how it is used.

I assume all the people that say there is nothing wrong with the word be alright with their daughters being called "My Bitch" "My Whore"? Bitch also has a few meanings and is becoming acceptable to use in relation to a mans girlfriend. Does NOT make it right.

If a friend called you over the phone saying they were raped

I would think they had been raped and would immediately offer any help I could.

However if a friend called me and said they had been Fraped, I would ask who by and tell them they ought to remember to sign out of their facebook account in future.

I am able to distinguish between the two words.

Do people become 5 years old when they use face book? I grew out of using "in" words and terms when i left school,i hear 50+year old women using ridiculously childish terminology wehen chatting about fb and ai recently went on holiday with a normally funny intelligent friend who slipped into check her fb about twice a day leaving fab weather and gorgeous pool to do so!Another grown woman told me the other day that she had split with her bf cos he had accepted a hot chocolate bath on fb
That is why i stick to mn.

Um squeaky I was clearly referring to the people questioning the word RAPE (ie post above mine) but I am pretty sure you knew that.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fraped
Look look fraped is in the urban dictionary!

I love the way the English language develops. It has done since the start of language and will do for a long time into the future. Thoroughly fascinating stuff. Look how the word gay changed it's meaning.
To get a bit upset about the usage of a word that in 5 years time may not even be used or have a completely different meaning, is, IMO a little bit silly.

The only context where I've seen it used is by my friend's 14 year old daughter and her mates, who regularly post things like 'Jack raped Lizi last night and she loved it' and where the lads routinely refer to girls as ' whores' and 'slags'. They seem to trivialise sexual assault, and gender assumptions, and 'frape' is a part of that. When asked they'll all say rape is abhorrent etc but also repeat the same 'rape myths' that have been around for donkeys years. Frightening really.

For me - and I don't expect universal agreement - language is a powerful thing and using things like 'fraped' is part of a wider issue about how society views the sexual assault and violation of one person by another. Same way I believe words like 'psycho' and 'nutter' risk minimising and trivialising mental illness. So I don't use them-bar as examples.

'To get a bit upset about the usage of a word that in 5 years time may not even be used or have a completely different meaning, is, IMO a little bit silly.'

Now, to me that's an odd thing to say whilst wearing your PurpleTwuntyPants.
One of the recurrent issues on MN is parents of SN children getting very annoyed about people using offensive language, even when they don't mean to give offence. Like fucktard, spaz and mong.
So objecting to frape as a word strikes me as being in a very similar vein, and thus not silly at all.
Disagree if you want to, but the discussion isn't foolish or over-reaction.

Suggesting to woman that when they object to usage of a term they find offensive that they are being 'silly' is just a tad patronising. IMHO.

YANBU. Horrible term.

Sorry, typo above. I clearly meant to say 'wimmin'.

1 definition of the verb, to rape, is to spoil or destroy.
The word is not solely used as the sexual act, and therefore I don't see a problem with the term frape or facebook rape...

Good grief. YANBU at all. Being charitable, only excuse I can imagine is that people who use it really aren't thinking.

re your post bahum, of course i didn't mean your post was 'cancelled out' in any seriousness whatsoever, as i believed i had made abundantly clear at the time when i said it needed a wink. however, if you took it seriously despite that then of course i totally apologise because had i said it seriously it would have been most disrespectful. apols.

YANBU - it is a vile term.

Language is an odd thing, take the word abortion, the termination of a pg by the expulsion of an embryo from the womb, ether spontaniously or induced. Miscarriage or termination, two completely different meanings yet the same word can be used. I don't think anyone feels that the two are the same just because you can use the same word to describe them.

excellent post by InFlames. i think all this 'x is a slag/whore/takes it up the arse' stuff that girls are subjected to now is really worrying, and i do see 'frape' as partof the same continuum.

when i had to sign a form to say that i wanted to 'terminate' my ectopic pregnancy, it felt very much the same, tbh Moomin.

That doesn't mean everyone does!

I've had two terminations ( miscarriages) where I've needed surgery and didn't think of it the same way at all, I wasn't ending my pregnancies through choice, it was because the pregnancies were not viable

I've also had a termination through choice and that felt completely different

just a silly internet thing

it will pass as all things do

nothing to get knickers in a knot about cos you cant stop people using an in word