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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be devasted and struggling to get over this nasty wicked comment

177 replies

sunshinelifeisgood · 31/07/2011 23:50

A long story cut short. Had a great family and friends day out today at a festival. My dd and her bf came with me and my siblings were there. It was lovely. My brothers oldest friend came, I have known him since I was very small.

At the end of the evening (9.30pm) myself, daughter and her boyfriend were standing chatting wating for the taxi, brothers friend came up to me and said

Hi Susi was just thinking that if you did not have a hare lip you could of gone so much further :(.

My daughter looked at me and I laughed and said "Dont worry about it and did the woosh over the head thing, but she was furious. I had to laugh it off and said "well at least I am a nice person".

We got a cab back and to be honest I encouraged her to go stay at her bf (she is 19 ) and I came in and cried and cried. How can someone be so mean and nasty I cant get over it.
I try my very best to be nice to people, i'm not saying I am perfect but I would never deliberately be nasty to someone and that is the truth. I feel fecking gutted and humilated and guess I just wanted to talk

OP posts:
issey6cats · 31/07/2011 23:52

thats an appalling thing to say to anyone, one consolation for you is that you are a nice person and this arsehole will get his comeuppance one day

ThatVikRinA22 · 31/07/2011 23:53

he is a twat. ignore him. gone further how? stupid fucking idiot....

you should have retorted with "if you had a brain cell you might think before you speak but clearly you dont, fuckwit"

im sorry your upset....but i wouldnt waste the tears on such an idiot!

have a Wine

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 31/07/2011 23:54

Clearly a very miserable arsehole with low self esteem who chose to "pick on" somebody with a great network of friends and family to make themselves feel a tad better about having a small penis.

Take absolutely no notice, very easy to say I know. Who came off looking like the smart adult intelligent person with a top of the range sense of humour? Hmm, YOU did! Who looked like a person of low intelligence, poor conversation and few friends? He did.

Forget all about it, put that person in the bin marked "arseholes" and get on with what sounds like a lovely life with a wonderful DD who is ready to defend her mum at all costs!

GypsyMoth · 31/07/2011 23:54

aww what an insensitive thing to say!

was he drunk? or just rude....anyway,come on,chin up. YOU know how lovely you are. you know a hare lip doesnt mean you havent gone far!

Tortington · 31/07/2011 23:54

what gets me in these situations is that i always do the ' what i should have said ' imaginary conversation and it goes round in my head all night

sometimes when i encounter nasty people and i think about it - i end up having imaginary arguments of what i should have said.

if he was being deliberatley nasty, it is absolutley becusae he spent some time with you and your beautiful family and is absolutley jealous. the prick.

blackeyedsusan · 31/07/2011 23:56

that is very odd, and thoughtless and mean. hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
sunshinelifeisgood · 31/07/2011 23:56

i have had loads of tears tonight and it has knocked me (im 46 for gods sake), I just feel gutted, I would never point out someones negatives not in a million years. thank you both I appreciate it

OP posts:
nickschick · 31/07/2011 23:56

I think ive misunderstood?

You had a hare lip?

I loked at your profile and all I see is a very attractive woman and although I looked at your mouth it doesnt look like you had a hare lip??

If it isnt you with the lip then obv i have misunderstood.

If it is you he is a twat and probably has a small penis.

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/07/2011 23:58

Bloody hell that is low.

What a prick.

AnyFucker · 01/08/2011 00:00

nasty and sad person, not worth your tears

Original poster
sunshinelifeisgood · 01/08/2011 00:01

omg, nickshick thank you now i am really crying, I have gone through life thinking "if you dont like me then f..k off,) really that has been my attitude but tonight he fecking floored me :(. No one has ever come out with anything like that, yes he was drunk, but people are more outspoken when they have had a drink . It was worse because my daughter was there :( and she looked at me with sad eyes that made it so much worse

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 01/08/2011 00:02

Oh and as nickschick said, profile picture = very attractive looking lady. Person who made comment = small peeeeenis!!!!!!

ShellyBoobs · 01/08/2011 00:02

He could have at least referred to it as a cleft lip, if he wanted to say something like that. Confused

Although, I don't suppose you can expect someone so thoughtless and narrow-minded to get that right.

I have a cleft lip, too, sunshine. It's been a long time since anyone has commented on it but I know how hurtful it can be. Sad

AnyFucker · 01/08/2011 00:03

just peeked at your profile pic

you are 46 ?

blimey Grin

mamas12 · 01/08/2011 00:03

I would now after the shock tell your brother and anyone else why you are having nothing more to do with this unhealthy dickhead.
Some pricks are unbelievable aren't they.

nickschick · 01/08/2011 00:03

Hes a knob and your dd looked at you like that cos she cares about you and knows hes a knob ...... next time just smile your nicest smile and say 'fuck off' .......you are lovely just the way you are.

And if alcohol makes him behave like that he should stop drinking.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 01/08/2011 00:06

Hehe, nickschick and I are singing the same song! Perhaps take these lovely positive comments on board and pity the twunt with the teeny weeny :-)

GlitterySkulls · 01/08/2011 00:06

he's a total wanker.

chin up, don't waste your tears on him :)

jasper · 01/08/2011 00:07

I am a dentist, very aware of lip defects and agree with nickschick, have looked at your pic and see no hare lip evidence. You are a gorgeous woman - what was that bloke on about?

Actually I might feel a bit sorry for him - he is certainly socially inept and possibly has mental health problems.

Please don't cry. You look lovely.

Original poster
sunshinelifeisgood · 01/08/2011 00:07

shelly hare lip and cleft palate.

To all thank you so much I am on a real low after this tonight and the reason I did not retaliate is because he is my brothers friend and it would of caused a arguement so I just took it. Why I never know a few years ago I would of poured the beer that he had over his bald head but in the morning i will ring my brother and tell him what a fecking dick his mate is. It has knocked me and i really appreciate the nice comments being made but tonight I cant see them if that makes sense

OP posts:
letitlie · 01/08/2011 00:07

He's a twat. End of.

Hope you're feeling better soon

empirestateofmind · 01/08/2011 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

empirestateofmind · 01/08/2011 00:10

sorry- x posts (I took too long typing), I understand about the hare lip. Sorry to be so insensitive.

Original poster
sunshinelifeisgood · 01/08/2011 00:10

but the photo does not show it so much, its real life that is obviously the issue.

OP posts:
queenmaeve · 01/08/2011 00:11

What a total asshole! Do not let this upset you any more. That scum is not worth it. How dare he. Console yourself with the fact that you are a far better person than he will ever be. You must be a fantastic mum too, for your daughter to hang out with her bf with you, it speaks volumes about your relationship.

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