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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be devasted and struggling to get over this nasty wicked comment

177 replies

sunshinelifeisgood · 31/07/2011 23:50

A long story cut short. Had a great family and friends day out today at a festival. My dd and her bf came with me and my siblings were there. It was lovely. My brothers oldest friend came, I have known him since I was very small.

At the end of the evening (9.30pm) myself, daughter and her boyfriend were standing chatting wating for the taxi, brothers friend came up to me and said

Hi Susi was just thinking that if you did not have a hare lip you could of gone so much further :(.

My daughter looked at me and I laughed and said "Dont worry about it and did the woosh over the head thing, but she was furious. I had to laugh it off and said "well at least I am a nice person".

We got a cab back and to be honest I encouraged her to go stay at her bf (she is 19 ) and I came in and cried and cried. How can someone be so mean and nasty I cant get over it.
I try my very best to be nice to people, i'm not saying I am perfect but I would never deliberately be nasty to someone and that is the truth. I feel fecking gutted and humilated and guess I just wanted to talk

OP posts:
hairfullofsnakes · 01/08/2011 05:09

He is a fucking arsehole - please ignore him. He was also drunk. Yes tell your brother please do and I bet when he sobers up and realises what he said he will be mortified. Either way he is still a fucking Cunt! People who feel the need to act like this are nothing so please Try to see this. X

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 01/08/2011 05:32

Sorry but why does your profile say you have no children, yet you mention your daughter in the post?

mumdrivenmad · 01/08/2011 07:14

maybe the could have gone far bit was "you could have gone far with me, and I would have taken you on", if I was not such a shallow idiot who can't see past the end of my small penis . What a catch he would have been.

CheerfulYank · 01/08/2011 07:22

Cook a lot of posters with children have profiles that say they don't have them, just because they haven't filled out that part of the profile.

clappyhands · 01/08/2011 07:29

cookcleaneretc, all profiles say that by default unless you go in and change it

sunshine, hope you are still angry this morning and let your family know what that twat said

we are about the same age and you are looking good Grin

NunTheWiser · 01/08/2011 07:29

OP, that man is a thoughtless idiot and not worth your tears.

cookcleaner, if you choose not to specify the number and sex of your children, the profile defaults to saying that you don't have children, IYSWIM.

clappyhands · 01/08/2011 07:29

x post with cheerful yank!

clappyhands · 01/08/2011 07:30

sorry to hijack post but cookcleaner why do you block your profile?

exoticfruits · 01/08/2011 07:30

Comments like that always knock you (however much you try to tell yourself they shouldn't) and it is always annoying when you think of the good retorts later. You just have to dismiss him as an idiot-not worth even thinking about. You look lovely on your photo.

gorionine · 01/08/2011 07:32

OP your are gorgeous! I am wondering a thing though. In OP the idiot who told you that is calling you by your firstname? Are they a "friend". Very very insensitive and stupid!

cookcleanerchaufferetc my profile says my DCs age and updates them but does not seem to update my age. If I stay on here long enough they will soon appear as being older than me but it won't be true!Wink

CheerMum · 01/08/2011 07:39

morning, i hope you are feeling a bit brighter today. make sure you let your brother know what happened (and then come and tell us all what he did to his idiot friend!)

hester · 01/08/2011 07:43

Some men just do this kind of shit to women. It says everything about them and nothing about you. A close friend of mine - a very, very attractive woman - was once out with friends when they got joined by a Certain Celebrity Chef. Suddenly, apropos of nothing, he turned round and said to her, "Christ, you're fucking ugly".

it is a power trip. It's like men who stand on street corners barking at women who walk past, or saying to them, "You're so sexy" or "You're so ugly". I think they're interchangeable; it doesn't matter to them whether they're paying you a 'compliment' or an insult, they just want to assert their right to humiliate you.

biddysmama · 01/08/2011 07:47

how would it hold you back? my step mums brother has a very noticable one, hes a teacher, thats a pretty good job? the guy was an arse

everlong · 01/08/2011 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flippinada · 01/08/2011 08:03

Sunshine, I just clicked on your profile and you look fantastic!

What a horrible, nasty piece of work that man is Angry.

I hope you are feeling better today :).

Reality · 01/08/2011 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rubyrubyruby · 01/08/2011 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

uggmum · 01/08/2011 08:15

I also looked at your profile picture. You look amazing. I wish I looked half as good.

MorelliOrRanger · 01/08/2011 08:24

Hope you feel better this morning Sunshine.

Some people can just be so nasty. Adults should know better.

You look lovely and I hope you do tell your brother.

changeforthebetter · 01/08/2011 08:25

You look great love. He is twunt. Totally agree with the jealousy thing. It sounds like he is an insecure little nobber who is trying to put someone else down to big himself up - it won't have worked btw - he will still feel like a little turn. and Wine/Brew Smile

changeforthebetter · 01/08/2011 08:26

Or even a a little turd Blush

Grumpla · 01/08/2011 08:27

You know this has absolutely nothing to do with you or the way that you do / don't look, don't you?

People who make negative comments about other people in this way are always, always doing it because of their own insecurity and need to 'cut down' people they perceive as being cleverer / prettier / happier / more successful than they are. He chose to make your lip the 'focus' of his snide little put-down because it was a fairly safe bet that this would be the most effective button to press. If you didn't have a harelip he would have made a comment about your weight, age, clothes etc. Because he is a pathetic little slug who can't bear other people's happiness.

Think back to how you must have appeared to him at that party. Beautiful, happy, surrounded by your family and friends. That is who you are, and try as he may he CAN'T reduce you to some imagined flaw.

Cut him from your life, calmly. You do not need his opinion. It is insignificant.

Although, if you are not quite that zen-like, start a rumour about his tiny weeny peeny. Men like that are often VERY upset about that sort of thing Grin

Psammead · 01/08/2011 08:31

OP, what an upsetting thing to hear.

I don't quite understand it though - it makes no sense. 'Gone further'? So you'd be empress of the universe by now or something? Grin What a ridiculous comment, obviously designed to hurt. What a sad individual.

You are lovely looking by the way, but even if you were an ug like me, he's still an arse.

Deflatedballoonbelly · 01/08/2011 08:36

Bet its cos he fancies you! Have you ever knocked him back before?

Arsehole, him not you! x

corriefan · 01/08/2011 08:47

I think it's because he fancies you and who could blame him? You remember one painful comment over a million nice ones. It's probably his moronic way of getting you to notice him in anyway he can. What a hideous man.