to be devasted and struggling to get over this nasty wicked comment

[sunshinelifeisgood]

A long story cut short. Had a great family and friends day out today at a festival. My dd and her bf came with me and my siblings were there. It was lovely. My brothers oldest friend came, I have known him since I was very small.

At the end of the evening (9.30pm) myself, daughter and her boyfriend were standing chatting wating for the taxi, brothers friend came up to me and said

Hi Susi was just thinking that if you did not have a hare lip you could of gone so much further :(.

My daughter looked at me and I laughed and said "Dont worry about it and did the woosh over the head thing, but she was furious. I had to laugh it off and said "well at least I am a nice person".

We got a cab back and to be honest I encouraged her to go stay at her bf (she is 19 ) and I came in and cried and cried. How can someone be so mean and nasty I cant get over it.
I try my very best to be nice to people, i'm not saying I am perfect but I would never deliberately be nasty to someone and that is the truth. I feel fecking gutted and humilated and guess I just wanted to talk

[ThePosieParker]

Jesus christ, to come up especially without warning to say that....

What a CUNT.

[InstantAtom]

That's horrible Sunshine. You look great but to me it doesn't matter what someone looks like, no-one deserves a comment like that.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

What a fucking arsehole!

Someone once said to me that I would be pretty if it wasn't for my frown line. I was 16 and he was working within my school, a visiting professional working with us on a project. Knob.

[jesuswhatnext]

i just looked at your picture - you are a stunner!! and im of your lovley youthfull face, im 48 and holding back the years by a thread!

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

Would that be by a thread face lift jesus?

[Collision]

Just looked at your profile and you are gorgeous!!!!!

Try not to let what he said drag you down. Onwards and upward and all that! We think you are beautiful and as someone else said he probably fancies you and is now kicking himself for being a twonk!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Sunshine - you went to bed sad but beautiful and brave. Hopefully you woke up this morning happy as well as beautiful and brave.

He went to bed drunk, bitter and a total arse. He woke up this morning hungover, bitter and a total arse.

He is a small insignificant piece of excrement to be scraped off your shoe.

[spiderpig8]

A comment like that can only stem from his own insecurity.I guarantee that.
You are a good-looking woman .All of us in our 40s have little blemishes and it's what makes us human x
Don't give the tosser another thought!

[Chipsycheese]

Sounds like jealousy to me.
You had a great day and night with your friends and family.
He probably doesn't have any real friends and his family probably think he's a knob.
He is a stupid, silly tosser who is jealous you have nice people in your life.
Don't let him upset you for minute longer.

[cantpooinpeace]

I'm not one to bullshit..........I honestly could not see your hare lip on your pic.
Just believe in karma and wait to hear that
something nasty happened to him!

[Blu]

Did he mean 'you are a top woman, and you have unfairly been discriminated against at times because of your cleft palate'? i.e criticising discrimination rather than you?

[Purplegirlie]

Sunshine, you look gorgeous in your photo! Like others have said, he sounds like a total prick and I would just ignore his nasty little comment and then ignore him in future whenever you see him. What a cock he sounds!

[gramercy]

I'm the same age as you and I wished I looked a tenth as good!

I always think that people who make nasty comments are jealous and are trying to bring you down. I know that it's the plainer people who I usually heap with compliments; the gorgeous ones don't need them! This guy obviously has some problems - or perhaps he fancies you and was trying in some perverse way to make out that he knows the "old" you.

[RubyrooUK]

Sunshine, I can't see your profile pic (shame as everyone keeps telling me how gorgeous you are). But two things...

1. I've always fancied Joachim Phoenix who has a small scar on his lip. Makes him even better looking as it's so unique. And the best compliment I ever received was from a very clever man who said that I was beautiful because "your face is never still so it never gets boring". And my husband is always going on about my great nose, which is squint and blights my face. So "perfection" as we sometimes think of it is often not the most attractive thing.

1. Just to make you realise people say awful things all the time, I'll tell you a couple of my gran's best lines.

Gran: "You know - if your stepfather had lived, I think he would have really grown to like you."
Me: Er...I thought he did like me???
Gran: [Long pause]
Me: Weeping

Gran: Are you wearing that dress?
Me: This one - yes. twirls to show off size 8 figure
Gran: Oh. Well you won't want to put on any more weight if you do plan to wear it again.
Me: Er, do you think I'm fat?
Gran: [Long pause]
Me: Oh.

Hope you have cheered up. Xxxx

[wizzler]

Sunshine, you look lovely in your photo.

He didn't humiliate you, he humiliated himself. You kept your dignity and can face the world today, unlike him. What a git.
I bet (hope) he is absolutely mortified
Have you told your brother yet ?

[clappyhands]

well, how are you today :)

[cantreachmytoes]

I sneaked a peek at your pic too and have to say that you're gorgeous! I hope you come back to this thread when your mood has changed and you can read what we've been saying. Most of us have busy lives and if we didn't think you look good, we wouldn't bother posting! Perhaps the pic doesn't show us 'real life' you, but who cares? You can't look like that in a pic and be really ugly when not looking at the camera!

As for what the idiot said - everybody has said it already!

[Vicky2011]

What did your bro say OP?

[eurycantha]

God some people are ..When I was younger one of my brothers friends made a comment about me ,I have a problem with my leg and hence a slight limp,my brother actually punched the guy ,our father had recently died so maybe he was feeling more protective ,anyway you should tell your brother what his idiot of a friend said to you not that I`m saying he should punch him but hopefully he can get across to his friend what a bast oops did I nearly swear sorry.

[ShellyBoobs]

I know no one means any harm by it, but please can people stop calling it a 'hare lip'. It has pretty awful connotations, to be honest.

Anyway, reading this thread late last night got me thinking back to some bad times I had at school due to my cleft lip and palate.

I particularly remember as a 10yr old, someone coming to our first school to teach us about basic first aid and life saving, etc - he was a swimming instructor at the local swimming pool.

During the session I was chosen to lay on the floor for him to demonstrate how to tilt an unconscious person's head back to make sure their airway is unobstructed. When he moved my head back my mouth naturally opened and he decided that was a good time to announce that it was 'time I got my teeth sorted out'. I was devastated. At that time, there was nothing I wanted more in the world than to have nice straight teeth like everyone else, but I was too young to begin the orthodontic treatment I needed.

A few years ago, so probably 25 yrs after that incident, I was visiting my parents (who still live in the area where I grew up) and I passed that man in the street. I recognised him immediately and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. I found myself silently mouthing the words 'you fucking wanker' at him as we passed each other by.

Totally out of character for me but certainly an indication of how hurtful people can be and how that hurt can resurface.

It's a shame that some people can't be a little more thoughtful.

[smearedinfood]

oooh oooh oh I have a line for moments when people are nasty or completely and utterly out of line like this dickhead "if you give me 20 pounds I'll show you my cock", I have used it and it does knock em for 6, especially when your pregnant..

[bestmate]

I am a late comer to this thread, I am 35 and I think you are totally bloody gorgeous!!! He sounds an utter twat!!!!

[sunshinelifeisgood]

Hi all, thank you so much again, god I sound like a grovler. A quick update as I have been dealing with my dad all day. I got a text this morning and the words were this
Hi Susi, Janet (his wife) informed me this morning that I made a comment to you I will not do it again

Wtf :), anyway I have not warranted it with a reply but did speak to my brother today and he said "oh he is like that when he is drunk".

I feel much better today for all your comments (true or not), this to me is what mumsnet is all about, picking someone up when they have hit the floor.

I must admit I woke up this morning (my picture has make up on etc) and did think "feck me I know what he is talking about", then I got that text and thought just feck off you tosser.

He is a family friend and my brother had given him my mobile number I have never had any reason and never want one to have his number by the way.

CLAPA, yes have heard of it and have had dealings with it in the past, had a fantastic surgeon up at Mount Vernon in Northwood Middx.
Wonder if he does a tummy tuck :) :)