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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not pay for this takeaway meal?

352 replies

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 10:20

Okay, quite prepared to be told IABU on this one, but I actually think I'm being reasonable on it.

My cousin has got annoyed that she is not invited round to my house much. She has come for lunch before, but when I see her, which admittedly is not really that frequently, I generally meet her in a park (which is about halfway between our houses) so that DS and her DD can play together. I will pack a picnic if the weather is nice. But my cousin wants to come for dinner now, and I've arranged it for Friday night.

I'm reluctant to have her here in the evening mainly because she is usually miserable and rude. She has never made much of an effort to get to know my DP and the evening will just be uncomfortable and a total bore. Fortunately, the children do actually play nicely together, so DS will have a buddy for the night! I am okay with the fact that she's coming round, but I am annoyed about her comments about the food.

DP is a brilliant cook and has offered to do something that would suit everyone, adult and child. This was my preference, as we are largely a vegetarian household (I am veggie, DP eats mainly a vegetarian diet, as does DS, DD just about to start weaning). We thought if the weather was nice, we could even do a barbecue and eat in the garden.

But my cousin has rejected this idea and wants to come round for a takeaway. She has made it clear that she expects DP and I to pay for her and for her DD. If we'd invited her round explicitely to have a takeaway, I might agree with her, but that's not it. Not only that, but her DD is a very fussy eater and will according to her mother, probably only have chips. If that's ever the case with DS, we will let him have chips, but they will be oven chips, and I will do them at home for him. He will eat with us and have them served at the same time, so he wouldn't know they weren't from the takeaway (not that he'd care). Aside from the fact that I am being expected to pay for the takeaway, I have now been told that it would be unfair for me to cook oven chips for my cousin's DD when we would be having a takeaway, so I should be ordering a portion of chips and a couple of things for her to try. Again, I am being expected to pay for all this.

This is in addition to the fact that she won't get a taxi home (she doesn't drive) so DP or I will have to drive her and her DD to their place, meaning one of us will not be able to have a drink with dinner. Not such a big deal, but it's bugging me with the other stuff.

AIBU to tell my cousin that if she wants to have a takeaway, she will be expected to make a contribution that covers her and her DD's share? And that unless she does, DP will make dinner?

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 06/10/2013 22:21

She seems very unreasonable. But tbh I think you perhaps made a mistake in engaging with her on what you would be having knowing what she is like. That way there would have been no opportunity for all this back and forth nonsense about oven chips and takeaway chips. When people come round my house for dinner they don't get to approve the menu beforehand and when I go visit others I don't know what they are going to be cooking me beforehand.

RadFs · 26/03/2024 09:52

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 17:13

Hi @TidyDancer i was just reading the classics thread as recently people have been mentioning about the Mexican house thief on a recent post. I can across your post even though it was a dud link I had to google it up. I’ve just finished reading yours now. What happened to your cousin? Is she still in the picture now? What about her daughter? I bet your kids are adults now since you first posted. Good on you for making a stand.

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