to not pay for this takeaway meal?

[TidyDancer]

Okay, quite prepared to be told IABU on this one, but I actually think I'm being reasonable on it.

My cousin has got annoyed that she is not invited round to my house much. She has come for lunch before, but when I see her, which admittedly is not really that frequently, I generally meet her in a park (which is about halfway between our houses) so that DS and her DD can play together. I will pack a picnic if the weather is nice. But my cousin wants to come for dinner now, and I've arranged it for Friday night.

I'm reluctant to have her here in the evening mainly because she is usually miserable and rude. She has never made much of an effort to get to know my DP and the evening will just be uncomfortable and a total bore. Fortunately, the children do actually play nicely together, so DS will have a buddy for the night! I am okay with the fact that she's coming round, but I am annoyed about her comments about the food.

DP is a brilliant cook and has offered to do something that would suit everyone, adult and child. This was my preference, as we are largely a vegetarian household (I am veggie, DP eats mainly a vegetarian diet, as does DS, DD just about to start weaning). We thought if the weather was nice, we could even do a barbecue and eat in the garden.

But my cousin has rejected this idea and wants to come round for a takeaway. She has made it clear that she expects DP and I to pay for her and for her DD. If we'd invited her round explicitely to have a takeaway, I might agree with her, but that's not it. Not only that, but her DD is a very fussy eater and will according to her mother, probably only have chips. If that's ever the case with DS, we will let him have chips, but they will be oven chips, and I will do them at home for him. He will eat with us and have them served at the same time, so he wouldn't know they weren't from the takeaway (not that he'd care). Aside from the fact that I am being expected to pay for the takeaway, I have now been told that it would be unfair for me to cook oven chips for my cousin's DD when we would be having a takeaway, so I should be ordering a portion of chips and a couple of things for her to try. Again, I am being expected to pay for all this.

This is in addition to the fact that she won't get a taxi home (she doesn't drive) so DP or I will have to drive her and her DD to their place, meaning one of us will not be able to have a drink with dinner. Not such a big deal, but it's bugging me with the other stuff.

AIBU to tell my cousin that if she wants to have a takeaway, she will be expected to make a contribution that covers her and her DD's share? And that unless she does, DP will make dinner?

Don't have any bubble bath anyway so hanging around. Dont tease to long I need to go to bed.

Aw come on TidyDancer spill! Has she got a taxi home?

Come on Tidy we've been waiting all week for this.

Come on! I need to pee and if I leave the laptop DH will nick it.....

oo hello

Ooh yes! Spill!

This should be good if she's been 10 minutes typing the buger!

I'm betting the cousin had a hissy fit about the food and dialed for a takeway, had it delivered and insisted they pay! Or came with her own food and a receipt.

Or had a tantrum about transport and they ended up getting her a taxi!

bugger, not buger

anyone !

she is gone ages coz she is running bloody cousin home I get

bet*

Well?

.

Oh I so want to know how it went but so sleepy!

Okay here goes.

I picked her up at six this evening and she was quiet, to say the least. DP took DD to my mum's while I did the pick up, so I had DS with me, who was thrilled to see cousin's DD (and she was thrilled to see him!). They were chinwagging in the back of the car within moments, so all was well there.

Cousin got in front seat and said hello, half smiled. Halfway through the journey, her DD piped up "What are we having for dinner?". My cousin eyeballed her from the front, I don't know what she'd said to her DD, but she obviously didn't want her expanding on the question. I told her we were having a barbecue. Reply was "Oh". Like mother like daughter, clearly! The weather wasn't as great here as it has been, but it was warmish and dry, so we went ahead.

And here's where, dear MNers, you will be awfully proud of me.

When we got home, myself, DS, cousin and cousin's DD were confronted with an array of nibbles that would make any MNer proud. I had pineapple (from a tin) and cheese (value block) on cocktail sticks, a selection of sugary goodness in the form of every kind of chocolate I could get in the pick and mix [bad mother emoticon], various fruits (sorry, I couldn't find a durian fruit anywhere! I really tried, but I got a wide selection of other fruits that I did no preparation for, so it was basically about 10 different fruits sitting on a serving tray ), party rings and other assorted classic party favourites! I thought I could sufficiently confuse her enough to diffuse the atmosphere of awkwardness. She was confused, but didn't really question it. I did talk about durian fruit though, she had no idea what it was, as DP and I sniggered away in the garden!

To cut a long story short, she made conversation occasionally, turned my TV on without asking and sat in front of it most of the evening. DP and I were outside with the barbecue and the children and there was a distinct lack of drama! We wouldn't have missed her tbh. No BIL either, though he did ring for an update part way through the evening!

Re the transport home situation, she got a taxi and she paid for it! Success! When it got to the point when she really both DP and I had had too much to drink (about half an hour before I came on here), she asked me to call her a taxi. I handed her a few cards and went straight to the bathroom to avoid her. By the time I got down, she had got DP to call the taxi for her and was standing expentantly by the hallway, gesturing for her DD to get ready to leave. She was tired, the poor lamb, but it's the holidays, and she'd had a fantastic time playing with DS! The taxi bibbed from outside and she actually asked for money! Something along the lines of "Have you got any change? I don't have anything.". I told her we had nothing in the house (thanks, though of you who suggested we actually didn't have anything, made sure to have nothing but the copper coin jar), and didn't she have any money at all? She ummed and ahhed for a few seconds, and then said "I suppose so.", and walked out the door, without saying thank you. I kid you not. I heard her say "We're getting a takeaway tomorrow, DD". So much for not being able to afford it then!

She certainly lived up to her rudeness, but it was decidedly less exciting than I think you were all expecting. I hope you're proud of me for not doing two lifts and not ordering a takeaway or giving her money!

I also have wine. Please tell.

Never invite her again, for the love of cheeses. You must figure out a way to have the DD on her own.

Well done you though . Was it prickly awkward?

well done!!

Result! you did no lifts at all and served no takeway at all.. 100% win.

Yes, awkward is certainly one way to put it! DP won't have her over for dinner again, so it took the decision out of my hands, even though I'm certain I would've made the same one.

It got to about 8:30 and the wine took over and I didn't care if it was awkward or not! Stayed sober enough to put DS to bed (well, DP carried him up, he fell asleep on the sofa!), then got another bottle out and am currently working my way through it.

I forgot to say, I lined the fruit up in size order. DP wanted to draw faces on them, I thought that might be a step too far!

OMG. I almost feel sorry for her. She must lead a sad life.

All her own doing though!

Well done. She's learned something, perhaps.

And I doubt she'll be complaining she never gets to come to your house again

Fuck me she's rude!!

Well done Tidy! Do you feel liberated??