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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not pay for this takeaway meal?

352 replies

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 10:20

Okay, quite prepared to be told IABU on this one, but I actually think I'm being reasonable on it.

My cousin has got annoyed that she is not invited round to my house much. She has come for lunch before, but when I see her, which admittedly is not really that frequently, I generally meet her in a park (which is about halfway between our houses) so that DS and her DD can play together. I will pack a picnic if the weather is nice. But my cousin wants to come for dinner now, and I've arranged it for Friday night.

I'm reluctant to have her here in the evening mainly because she is usually miserable and rude. She has never made much of an effort to get to know my DP and the evening will just be uncomfortable and a total bore. Fortunately, the children do actually play nicely together, so DS will have a buddy for the night! I am okay with the fact that she's coming round, but I am annoyed about her comments about the food.

DP is a brilliant cook and has offered to do something that would suit everyone, adult and child. This was my preference, as we are largely a vegetarian household (I am veggie, DP eats mainly a vegetarian diet, as does DS, DD just about to start weaning). We thought if the weather was nice, we could even do a barbecue and eat in the garden.

But my cousin has rejected this idea and wants to come round for a takeaway. She has made it clear that she expects DP and I to pay for her and for her DD. If we'd invited her round explicitely to have a takeaway, I might agree with her, but that's not it. Not only that, but her DD is a very fussy eater and will according to her mother, probably only have chips. If that's ever the case with DS, we will let him have chips, but they will be oven chips, and I will do them at home for him. He will eat with us and have them served at the same time, so he wouldn't know they weren't from the takeaway (not that he'd care). Aside from the fact that I am being expected to pay for the takeaway, I have now been told that it would be unfair for me to cook oven chips for my cousin's DD when we would be having a takeaway, so I should be ordering a portion of chips and a couple of things for her to try. Again, I am being expected to pay for all this.

This is in addition to the fact that she won't get a taxi home (she doesn't drive) so DP or I will have to drive her and her DD to their place, meaning one of us will not be able to have a drink with dinner. Not such a big deal, but it's bugging me with the other stuff.

AIBU to tell my cousin that if she wants to have a takeaway, she will be expected to make a contribution that covers her and her DD's share? And that unless she does, DP will make dinner?

OP posts:
Picturesinthefirelight · 21/04/2013 15:33

I really enjoyed reading this thread.

Shelly32 · 21/04/2013 15:44

This is the 'best' of MUMSNET. Honest and supportive answers AND an update!! Tidy well done for standing up for yourself. Brilliant thread!

Shelly32 · 21/04/2013 15:45

What's a zombie thread btw??

tallwivglasses · 21/04/2013 15:45

Me too. Sad the bil tattoo one disappeared though!

TidyDancer · 21/04/2013 15:48

Thank you muchly, all of you. I suspect I may have caved without support, so I'm very grateful. :)

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 21/04/2013 15:51

Oh, on the BIL issue, the dopey sod is off to Germany for a stag do later in the summer so there may well be something that happens there!

(BIL's tattoo has a very poor German translation of a Shakespeare quote. Along with the hairy skull....)

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 21/04/2013 16:16

Sorry it's my fault this has been dragged up Blush thanks for the link tidy! It's been a great read, from frustration to elation :o. The lined up fruit is pure class. I hope she is less of a selfish madam now.

Shelly - a zombie thread is a really old thread that has been posted on again after several years (possibly because they searched it and didn't realise it wasn't a current thread, and it goes back onto Active Convos so other people get similarly fooled.

GoSuckEggs · 23/04/2013 22:57

1

Caitycat · 24/04/2013 09:55

Sorry about the B only realised it had happened when I saw this thread in I'm on and didn't remember posting! I think I have dd to thank for that - I'm glad it hasn't caused the irritation that most zombie threads do!

manticlimactic · 24/04/2013 10:50

I'm disappointed the tattoo thread has gone Sad

AmberSocks · 24/04/2013 11:04

she sounds horrible and you sound like a doormat-who just lets people talk to them like that?grow a pair (i mean that in the nicest way possible)

YouTheCat · 24/04/2013 11:43

So, OP, has she been asked back to dinner in the last 2 years? Grin

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 24/04/2013 11:52

oh god yes. How have things been between you since that wonderful evening? Grin

SixPackWellies · 21/07/2013 14:55

Gosh I recall this thread like it just happened! (I seriously need to rethink the amount of time I give to MN!) That was one of my fave threads though!! :)

It is funny, because a friend of mine has a cousin who sounds eerily similar.

SixPackWellies · 21/07/2013 14:56

Updates on your relationship definitely required!

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 17:13

Just in case anyone is thinking this is a zombie thread, this is the thread it got revived on!

Cousin and I no longer speak.

I am not sorry. Grin

OP posts:
MissStrawberry · 21/07/2013 17:30

AmberSocks - have you read the whole thread? You are very rude.

helenthemadex · 21/07/2013 17:57

love the fruit thing so funny

needaholidaynow · 21/07/2013 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

needaholidaynow · 21/07/2013 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

98percentchocolate · 21/07/2013 22:10

Best zombie thread ever Grin

youarewinning · 22/07/2013 20:55

Came here via the wedding thread and past BILs tattoo. Grin

tidy you have made my day after its been shit

BooMeowson · 23/07/2013 19:42

I love how she arrived and was so grumpy not to have a chinese she watched TV all evening!! Grin Great thread!!

DameDeepRedBetty · 06/10/2013 12:23

Tidy do you have the record for most OPs in Classics?

And any update on Gluezilla?

DameDeepRedBetty · 06/10/2013 12:24

Blush sorry it's not in Classics... just OUGHT to be ...

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