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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not pay for this takeaway meal?

352 replies

TidyDancer · 31/07/2011 10:20

Okay, quite prepared to be told IABU on this one, but I actually think I'm being reasonable on it.

My cousin has got annoyed that she is not invited round to my house much. She has come for lunch before, but when I see her, which admittedly is not really that frequently, I generally meet her in a park (which is about halfway between our houses) so that DS and her DD can play together. I will pack a picnic if the weather is nice. But my cousin wants to come for dinner now, and I've arranged it for Friday night.

I'm reluctant to have her here in the evening mainly because she is usually miserable and rude. She has never made much of an effort to get to know my DP and the evening will just be uncomfortable and a total bore. Fortunately, the children do actually play nicely together, so DS will have a buddy for the night! I am okay with the fact that she's coming round, but I am annoyed about her comments about the food.

DP is a brilliant cook and has offered to do something that would suit everyone, adult and child. This was my preference, as we are largely a vegetarian household (I am veggie, DP eats mainly a vegetarian diet, as does DS, DD just about to start weaning). We thought if the weather was nice, we could even do a barbecue and eat in the garden.

But my cousin has rejected this idea and wants to come round for a takeaway. She has made it clear that she expects DP and I to pay for her and for her DD. If we'd invited her round explicitely to have a takeaway, I might agree with her, but that's not it. Not only that, but her DD is a very fussy eater and will according to her mother, probably only have chips. If that's ever the case with DS, we will let him have chips, but they will be oven chips, and I will do them at home for him. He will eat with us and have them served at the same time, so he wouldn't know they weren't from the takeaway (not that he'd care). Aside from the fact that I am being expected to pay for the takeaway, I have now been told that it would be unfair for me to cook oven chips for my cousin's DD when we would be having a takeaway, so I should be ordering a portion of chips and a couple of things for her to try. Again, I am being expected to pay for all this.

This is in addition to the fact that she won't get a taxi home (she doesn't drive) so DP or I will have to drive her and her DD to their place, meaning one of us will not be able to have a drink with dinner. Not such a big deal, but it's bugging me with the other stuff.

AIBU to tell my cousin that if she wants to have a takeaway, she will be expected to make a contribution that covers her and her DD's share? And that unless she does, DP will make dinner?

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 06/08/2011 16:28

It is totally weird that she's fixated over food so much. If somebody offered me over for dinner I'd be perfectly happy with whatever they were preparing. She's totally spoilt and selfish. You did well Tidy Grin

pigletmania · 06/08/2011 16:39

Oh that sounds lush tidy I could smell next doors barbie last night

SugarPasteFrog · 06/08/2011 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 06/08/2011 17:25

I'd be soooo tempted to reply saying something like get yourself a takeaway tonight to cheer yourself up Grin

pigletmania · 06/08/2011 17:47

ooooh loveBeing you are so mean evil Grin

YouDoTheMath · 06/08/2011 18:10

She might have put her status up to see what reaction she gets from YOU, Tidy, seeing as she does it for that purpose on occasion. What do you reckon she'd say if you ask why she's PO'd?

Curiousmama · 06/08/2011 18:21

I'd ignore the childish cow her on FB tbh but am sure you will anyway. Although do like the get yourself a takeaway bit Grin So onn second thoughts please do that and update Wink

belledechocchipcookie · 06/08/2011 18:25

Couldn't you say 'I'm really looking forward to the takeaway we're having this evening' ?Grin

G1nger · 06/08/2011 18:33

I hate attention seeking Facebook updates like that.

Curiousmama · 06/08/2011 18:38

Grin yes that would do too Belled

Sewmuchtodo · 06/08/2011 18:38

I wish FB had the general rule of 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all!'

So glad you stuck it out, well done!!! :-)

belledechocchipcookie · 06/08/2011 18:39

Sorry Curiousmama, that was an x-post. Grin

puzzlesum · 06/08/2011 18:41

Personally I would simply say on FB "Tiny had a lovely time last night with [cousin] and her dd, fab barbecue and fun all round!". Moral high ground yet still putting the boot in - ker-ching. Wink (NB not that I approve of game-playing-via-status-updates-on-Facebook, obviously).

Teachermumof3 · 06/08/2011 19:07

Couldn't you say 'I'm really looking forward to the takeaway we're having this evening' ?grin

Lol!!

QuintessentialShadow · 08/08/2011 09:39

Oh, do put it the way Collision suggests.
Then in a day or two, your update "Lovely chinese takeaway tonight."

Caitycat · 21/04/2013 13:01

B

LisaMed · 21/04/2013 13:46

Damn, just read all this to find it was a zombie thread with the post B which is probably the cousin realising how mocked she has been.

TidyDancer · 21/04/2013 14:10

OP here. :)

Lisa, I think it's because another MNer asked me about it on another thread so a few people have read it today. The B was probably an error or a bump, not sure.

OP posts:
SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 21/04/2013 14:13

This thread has cheered me up immensely. I know it was over two years ago, but thank you OP. Truly. Thanks

LisaMed what do you mean by the post B? Confused

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 21/04/2013 14:14

Cross post, sorry TidyDancer Blush

ConfusedPixie · 21/04/2013 14:20

Oh, I got all excited thinking it was a work in progress then Wink It was still brilliant though and I didn't have to wait to see what happened! Grin

Tidy, did you respond to her on FB that morning?

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 21/04/2013 14:35

Ive just read this thread. I know it was years ago, but I want a recent update. Is cousin still so self entitled? Have you had her over? Was there any 'family drama' re no takeaway?

Grin

Sadly, I have someone like this in our family. It is so hard - we (DH & I) now have a strategy for this. We were ending paying for them every single time!

TidyDancer · 21/04/2013 14:39

No I don't think I did. She's a lover of the PA Facebook updates, but fortunately I'm not! I'm sure her friends replied with "what's up hun?" type things though!

OP posts:
MissLurkalot · 21/04/2013 14:44

Great read, thanks OP! Nicely handled too..x

GingerBlondecat · 21/04/2013 15:31

One of the Best Zombie threads I have read. Goodonya Tidy Grin

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