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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my DP should get over his disgust at changing shitty nappies?

209 replies

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 07/07/2011 23:03

seriously, our baby girl is 3 weeks old tomorrow and DP has changed ONE nappy. And that was only because she was wearing huggies and she weed and it leaked and i was at the post office. I keep asking/telling him to change her but he "just can't do it" as he "doesn't do shit" and it makes him feel sick. So AIBU to think he should just man up, grow a pair and get stuck in?

OP posts:
SozyDod · 08/07/2011 10:06

YANBU - rub his nose in it. Has he caught sick in his hands yet?

Fleurdebleurgh · 08/07/2011 10:07

I retch and occasionally actually puke when changing nappies and have done since the kids were about 4 months.

They also both have/had a habit of doing a giant poo first thing in the morning so you have to get out of bed and deal with shit before youre even properly awake. Then eat your breakfast in a shit smelling room.

Ive been properly sick about 40% of the nappy changes ive done in 4 years. I still do it.

oohjarWhatsit · 08/07/2011 10:09

wow what would happen if OP got run over by a bus tomorrow

would husband HAVE to do it

or would he just refuse?

hmmmm

BumWiper · 08/07/2011 10:14

I regularly deal with poo before breakfast.DC2 was a little rip for rubbing poo all over herself as a one yr old.That stuff would set like concrete.

paulapantsdown · 08/07/2011 10:16

Why would you not WANT to help change the dirty bum of the person you love when they can't do it for themselves?

bruffin · 08/07/2011 10:19

Dylis it sounds like the OP has a fairly balance relationship from what she haas says. It's the posters who are saying that he is a crap father purely on the basis that he doesn't do nappies that are being unreasonable.

Xiaoxiong · 08/07/2011 10:20

I've never changed a nappy. When DH and I were babysitting our friends' 1 year old he cleaned up some sick without turning a hair and calmly changed an exploding poo nappy like he does it every day - I boaked all the way through and was totally useless Blush

I'm now 18+6 and am scheming how I can get away with DH doing all nappies and sick cleaning...if all these men can get away with it surely I can Grin

(NB am being tongue in cheek - I do know what I'm in for and I know I will step up to the plate when the baby finally gets here...doesn't mean I have to like it though and I hope the boaking stops or at least gets easier to manage with more experience!)

IDrinkFromTheirSkulls · 08/07/2011 10:21

My dh says the same thing...but about cat poo. It reaaalllly bugs me especially when the cat poos in the bath (why????) and he leaves it there all day until I notice it Hmm IMO the cat poo can be easier than baby poo sometimes (at least it's solid!)

If he were the same with pooey nappies I would have to smack him in the face with one!

swallowedAfly · 08/07/2011 10:28

This reply has been deleted

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RitaMorgan · 08/07/2011 10:28

OP, you really need to put your foot down now before you become one of these women whose poor delicate little DHs can't bear the very thought of a poo.

Lady1nTheRadiator · 08/07/2011 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

swallowedAfly · 08/07/2011 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BumWiper · 08/07/2011 10:32

What would happen if both parents decided that they ''don't do shit''?

swallowedAfly · 08/07/2011 10:33

This reply has been deleted

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LadyClariceCannockMonty · 08/07/2011 10:34

Stating the bleeding obvious, YANBU! Imagine if someone had written 'AIBU to think my DP should get over her disgust at changing shitty nappies?'

Andrewofgg · 08/07/2011 10:35

Like the idea of Vick under the nose, though, I wish I had thought of that at the time!

startail · 08/07/2011 10:37

DH doesn't isn't particularly good with messy things like dirty nappies, sick and stripping the meat off chickens. He'll do them if he has to, but generally I sort these things because they don't bother me.
Anyway he fights with our overweight Dyson and puts shopping away, both jobs I hate and which will need doing long after DCs have left homeSmile

BumWiper · 08/07/2011 10:38

I'm going to go a bit deep here but in essence his refusal to change a dirty nappy means he can never be left in sole charge,lest the baby be left sitting in a soiled nappy.So therefore the baby is your sole responsibility.

chippy47 · 08/07/2011 10:54

So many potential things to comment on!

It is just poo fgs -get over it.
Not very good at changing nappies - what is so hard about it? A weak excuse.

"What really gets me aswell, is the fact that he wants a dog yet he "doesn't do shit"" -great. More dog poo to negotiate on the streets.

Do these men who have issues struggle with their own toilet habits -plenty of poo action to be had there. Must be such a struggle for them.

The reported comments from the DP's 'I don't do poo... etc etc' come across like it is some badge of honour. Incredible how many wuss's are out there.

Like everything else you just have to get stuck in. With DS1 it was a bit of a shock to see just how much poo he actually produced and how often. DS2 was the same but I was ready for anything by that stage and not expecting any surprises from impending arrival of DC3.

There appear to be a lot of faecephobes (is that a word?) out there. Who knew?

bruffin · 08/07/2011 10:59

"Bruffin, he IS a crap father. Nappies are PART OF being a parent, not an optional extra. Refusing to take care of the most basic needs of a baby is utterly pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic."

You need to get a bit of perspective. I had a crap father of who I was petrified of my whole life. Whether he changed my nappy or not i have no idea but I never forget is awful tempers and how he treated my mum.
My DS is kind and wonderful person who didn't do nappies if he couldn't help it. Will my DCs remember whether he changed their nappy or will they remember the lovely sweet man who is their father. Will they bloody care if he changed their nappy or not, I very much doubt it.

dreamingbohemian · 08/07/2011 11:02

You can debate whether it makes him a crap father. But it seems pretty clear that it makes him a crap partner. Leaving the nastiest job for only your partner to do is pathetic.

anonacfr · 08/07/2011 11:07

bruffin It's not about what the DCs remember, it's about you. By failing to change nappies he's failing to support you and take up his role as a parent of babies.
Fact is nappy changing is an essential part of looking after babies and he's refusing to do it.

Following scenario (which happens a lot in our household). DD (7 weeks) wakes up around 2 for a feed. Her nappy is v wet- I change her before nursing then put her back in her crib, roll over and prepare to go back to sleep. Just then I hear poo sounds- I tell DH. What does he do? He gets up and changes her. If he rolled over and announced he 'didn't do' nappies, he'd be dead. Grin

BumWiper · 08/07/2011 11:08

It just seems very strange that a father refuses to do the most basic care for his child.And a tad controlling.

bruffin · 08/07/2011 11:18

"bruffin It's not about what the DCs remember, it's about you. By failing to change nappies he's failing to support you and take up his role as a parent of babies"

Oh please, there is far more to parenting of a baby than changing nappies. OP says that he is good in every other way, so why pick on one thing he doesn't do.
My dh is a very supportive, he just didn't do nappies.

BumWiper · 08/07/2011 11:23

Actually a friend of my mams husband is like this.She was visiting my mam one day when she got a phone call demanding she had to go home and change DC.When she got home the poor lad was sitting outside in a playpen cause dad couldnt stand the smell.

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